How to (Try to) Avoid Hurting a Girl Who Wants Marriage
Tricky topic today. Something I’ve certainly gone through. In fact, most men who are “game-aware” and have dated a chick who is in the midst of her child-bearing years has probably gone through something like this.
Do you wife her up?
Will she get lazy if you do?
Are you wasting her time if you don’t?
Here’s the exact question I received…
Guilt in a long-term relationship knowing that you’re a young guy and probably “shouldn’t” settle down until your 30s, & will waste girl’s time/hurt her.
If men should worry about not feeling physically attracted to partner as the woman ages
Alright, here’s my thoughts.
If you are a young guy and you have no desire to settle down, I don’t think it’s up to you to “set her free”. I do think it is YOUR responsibility to tell her she is free to be free. Meaning, if you don’t want to get married anytime soon, tell her.
Don’t Lead Her On…
…and make it seem like you’ll give her what she wants.
If you tell her flat-out you’re not planning on getting married for at least [X] years, and that you enjoy her but you’ll understand if she wants more, and that she is free to end it it she needs to pursue her life goals.
And if she does, then yes, you let her go.
You don’t make it difficult for her to break up with you.
You don’t keep in contact.
If you’re up front and honest, then I don’t see why you should feel bad about it. Granted, many girls will think they are “the one” that can change you. But I still feel as long as you are bluntly and brutally honest, and occasionally remind her of where you stand on the issue…
I don’t see why you should feel bad.
The other point about not being attracted to a girl as she ages is valid.
I believe, though (or like to), that as a man, if you are continuing to grow and push your relationship forward, that:
- You will be bonded strongly to her. If she has your kids and there is a certain loyalty and appreciation that will likely help to keep the flame alive. (Do note this loyalty will NOT be repaid simply because it’s female nature)
- You make it clear there is zero wiggle room in the physical department. Frankly, I do believe most women can age relatively gracefully as long as they eat right, avoid booze, and stay active.
There are plenty of hot mamas out there.
Are they as hot as 20 year olds?
But again, if you have point #1 into account, then hopefully you just…well, stay attracted to her.
And, final point:
I am not married, I have never done this, these are just my simple thoughts and should not be taken as gospel.
The “Player Morality” Effect
I think most of us who get into game and begin learning how to get women reach a point where we realize we actually just wanted one decent girl—or we simply burnout.
Often times, I suspect it ends up being a little bit of both.
You tire of going on the same dates and having the same conversations three or four times a week. You realize how much time you’re pissing away, and for what? To go on yet another date so you can have sex with yet another girl?
After a time, it stops being novel.
It starts to feel like a chore more than pleasure.
I’m not saying that the sex part isn’t nice and that the seduction still isn’t fun, but long story short, it just doesn’t have the same appeal that it once did. It’s sort of like when you travel to a new locale, have the time of your life, but the next time you go back it just doesn’t have that same magic it did the first time around. I tell you, I’m still trying to recreate the magic I had on my first trip to Poland and Budapest, every time I go back there.
But I’ve realized it’s not coming back.
So, many men spend a lot of time, energy, and money—especially on mediocre girls, let’s not kid ourselves here—and just get bored with it.
Of course, that leads to finding a decent girl, which, if she is a decent girl on any level, yeah, she’s probably going to want to get married and have a family.
You realize you want a decent girl.
You also realize every decent girl will have certain criteria.
And, here is my final point and the absolute most important thing to take from this:
The more valuable you are as a man…
The more she will bend that criteria.
What do you think? Is it immoral to stay with a girl you don’t plan to marry?
Sound off in the comments below.