9

Either PayPal, Shopify, or the Italian Mafia is Responsible…

Within about a day of beginning to take orders this week, we got a big ‘ol warning from our payment processors.

The crazy thing is that it was BOTH Shopify (which processes our credit cards), and PayPal froze our accounts. We were still able to receive payments, but we were unable to actually withdraw the funds into the bank account.

This is typical for online business.

And really, it’s a good problem to have.

(We were also in top 10% of sales from stores that launched, but I didn’t grab a screenshot of that when it popped up).

Needless to say, this got us wondering what we did wrong.

Sure, we know people WANT this 100% Croatian Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

And we knew we’d sell a lot of it (came true).

The thing is:

Nothing can be done about this. It’s just one of the “hurdles” of starting a business, of which there are ALWAYS many. It’s growing pains. Also means we’re doing something right.

Don’t worry, we’re still fully on target to ship your olive oils out to you on the tenth. And we can still process payments.

Now, listen up, as this is important:

There are a LOT of olive oil “mafias” out there. People that sell the fake stuff at a huge markup. They don’t want the REAL stuff getting out into the market. And between the delay on getting our bottles, plus these payment processing issues (we got locked out of our bank account yesterday too, I should add)…we’re wondering…

…is the mafia trying to shut us down already?

Either way, if you haven’t ordered your bottle yet, best do so now before, either:

One, we sell out of all our bottles that are heavily discounted

Or two, the mafia shuts us down.

To get the real olive oil that has the mafia shaking in their boots, click here and grab a bottle. It’ll ship to you TOMORROW.

Selo Oils Q&A

Q:

Who are the two Olive Oil Barons behind Selo Oils?

A:

Martin and Kyle (that’s me and you all know me via this site, obviously)

(Yeah, I know, super helpful, I know, keep reading and you can read the story about how this came about…)

Q:

Who is writing these Selo posts?

A:

It’s mostly going to be Kyle for now, but for the most part, the emails will say “we” and be signed by both of us. Kyle has to go to Martin for every Croatian translation (especially the “Selo Slang”), and makes no claims of actually speaking Croat — though you should ask him about his Russian skills sometime if you’d like a laugh.

Kyle also shamelessly steals bits and pieces from Martin’s blog for these emails as well as social media advertising, and rarely actually credits him, so there’s that.

Side note: Kyle does find it a bit odd to be writing in the third person like this…so let’s change that.

Q:

So, are you going to oil up some hot girls in your advertisements?

A:

Right when I (Kyle writing this one) got involved in the project, I came up with the tagline, “Poppin’ bottles with Selo models”…

So, yeah, we’re definitely interested in that sort of, ahem…advertising.

On a side note though, I’d be personally terrified of doing this in the actual village where the oil comes from. I’d be afraid some burly father named Igor might not take too kindly to an olive oil marketing campaign with the Selo girls.

We are hoping to make a pitstop in Zagreb (Croatia’s capital) this fall, and we may poke our head around into some modeling agencies to see if we can work something out.

Q: Wait, so what’s the actual story of how you two came about this business?

A: Martin wrote this on his blog

===

“Anyway, this is about Kyle now. Let’s talk about Kyle. Rewind a full year. I had been following some of the blogs he wrote for since about 2013 and when he mentioned he’d be moving to my city I did what I could to get in touch.

I think it took about 3 emails and 6 months before I finally got a hold of him, mainly because of the intense traveling and book writing he was doing at the time. No hard feelings! Kyle is a beast. The guy lives everything he preaches. No bullshit. Ništa.

When I met Kyle in person, I was instantly jealous of the life he made for himself. A large online presence is one thing, but it’s a totally different thing to see all the work that goes into it in real life. I was just exiting from the career I thought I was going to ride for the next 5 years at least, and it seemed like he was just getting started in terms of really ramping up his various businesses and online platforms.
Kyle invited me out to hang with his friends several times. He even gave my nervous, drunken self a chance to interview on his podcast. That evening was a lot of fun, but while I was “coming atcha from Eastern Europe” I felt this wave of emptiness surge over me. I didn’t really have a lot to say.
I mean I’ve been to Croatia every other summer since I was 10, but damn. What was coming out felt vapid. Reflecting on a year of coding with very little to show for it in terms of personal growth really got to me. I froze several times, I gave my bit or whatever I could and we called it a night.
I was about done with my job and I started to think, maybe I could do this too? Or something like it? Then, that reality started knocking at my skull. I was almost broke and I had no irons in the fire. I simply had it in my mind to go back to Canada and recuperate and that’s what I did.
So just before I left to Croatia, as part of my return trip to Canada, Kyle and I met at a local Serbian restaurant where I think we chopped it up for about 6 hours straight, scarfing down ćevapčići while talking girls, “The West”, online business and everything else under the Bohemian sun. There was a moment there where I could have just stayed—a fleeting moment—where I could have just said “fuck it”, burn all my ships and grind it out. Kyle gave me an offer I could not refuse. I didn’t take that opportunity then. Had I hopped on that flight to Bulgaria, I guarantee you I would be writing from Croatia today.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. It’s been over 9 months since we shared that last shot of Rakija in Prague, wondering whether we could build something truly amazing, a sea change so epic that even the Cosa Nostra would come knocking at our door. As I finish writing this, I feel my ancestors calling in the wind, an untold destiny in my bones. This time there is no doubt. This time we build an Empire.”

===

But for now, if you’re looking to get your hands on the olive oil that had the Italian Cosa Nostra come knocking at the door…

Here’s the link again:

https://SeloOils.com

  • No Redunds says:

    If you believe in your product so much, why is there a strict NO REDUNDS policy?

  • Kyle is a fag says:

    You are such a fucking faggot. Bet you’re private labeling Kroger olive oil so you can rip off idiots

    • Kyle Trouble says:

      I wish, it’d be a lot easier!

      You sound like a jealous hater trying to hack it in Thailand on $250/month. Guess you can’t afford it!

      • JB says:

        There’s an obvious red flag, why does it ship from North America? Are you shipping olives to Canada? I imagine production costs are cheaper in Croatia. Even if it’s cheaper to sell to Europe, why leave money on the table like this?

      • Kyle Trouble says:

        Good lord where did you get all of these ideas.

        You have zero idea what you’re talking about.

        Go educate yourself: https://selooils.com/pages/our-story

      • JB says:

        It costs more to ship directly than across the ocean and then send it all over North America? Not to mention the heavily populated East Coast areas. Don’t buy that for a second.

      • Kyle Trouble says:

        You’re thinking you understand everything about our supply chain and economics, and in reality you don’t have a damn clue.

        Go look up the price and time to send a 3 pound package from Croatia.

        Not to mention the cost of getting materials there.

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