It's Always, "What Do You Do Now?" - This Is Trouble

It’s Always, “What Do You Do Now?”

It’s funny how you still get asked the same questions as you get older. When I was first on the verge of graduating high school, I was always asked, “Well, where are you going to college?”. As I approached the conclusion of my college career, that question became, “Well….what are you gonna do with your life now?”

These days, I’m still occasionally asked, “So…what’s next for you? Are you going to keep blogging or what?”

The comment amuses me because it seems that life doesn’t change as you age. Only you do. We go into this world helpless and weak, and we exit the world the same way. One can only hope that that you accomplished enough in the middle to make your life seem worthwhile. What those accomplishments that achieve fulfillment are will vary from person to person. For some people, that means mere survival. Being able to eat and die of old age instead of famine. For others, only a million dollars in the bank will do. While the goals differ from person to person the entrance and the exit remain largely the same.

I wonder what purpose there is to life. I wonder what my purpose is. Is my purpose to write this blog and give men (and women, if they so choose) the keys to freedom? Part of me thinks I have too much free time, at times. Passive income that already succeed my 2017 goal by July 31st gives me idle hands. There is only continued growth coming, and I’ve not scratched the surface on what I want to accomplish. But, achieving your goals gives you a pause to think a bit more about life.

I wonder where I am supposed to go with mine.

I’ve found that as I’ve gotten older, I do things more spiritual in their natural foundation such as yoga. I refuse to eat foods like cereal that I’ve been told are great for me my whole life. I wonder what higher beings are potentially out there in the galaxy—surely, in a universe where our little Earth is but one grain of sand on all of the ocean’s beaches—there is more.

I flounder between scorching the Earth and living as playboy-like as possible, or moving to the country and having 10 kids with a girl I’ve screened for carefully. Notice that neither of these options falls remotely near the average normal. Both are on the extreme ends, which is where my mind tends to live. Never content with anything in the middle, it’s all or absolutely nothing. I wonder if this is a blessing or a curse. Can I ever find contentment, or will it always be a struggle to reach the next level or a struggle to be content with what has been build.

Truthfully, I just love the struggle. The grind. Waking up everyday to build something that I know is mine and mine alone. I understand now why entrepreneurs work 16 hour days and love it. But sometimes I lack an endgame. What’s the ultimate, ultimate goal for me? I don’t know. What I do know is that my little online empire has gone from $100 a month in July 2016 to $7,000 a month in July 2017. So there seems little reason to change that until that growth slows down.

Then though, I think about what it’s taken to get there. I do write a lot less these days, instead spending time playing boss or admin or editor. I love writing—but only when I’m doing it consistently. When I don’t, it gets rough. Getting into that rhythm where the words flow seamlessly is difficult. Look at this post so far—a long, rambling piece that has no end goal or vision. Just my musings on life, in a poor attempt to make sense of them. But that’s okay. I’ll share it. Maybe one person will read it, understand me, and therefore—understand themselves.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s all we really want in the world.

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