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Grappling With Morality (Player Burnout + More)

Tonight, while I was sitting in a bar in Belgrade, Serbia, I had a big revelation. I sat there, thinking to myself, and realized, “Ya know…I don’t want to be here. I want to sleep.”

In my defense, I was up at 5am, dealt with the hassle of getting to an airport, reaching a new city and finding my hotel—you know, the usual travel details that wear on you.

Now, there was a time where I could take a red-eye flight, stay up all night drinking, and bounce back no problems. I think I’m still capable of that at times, but things have certainly changed. I was tweeting about it earlier and received a few theories:

  • Low T
  • Novelty worn off
  • And that, well—I shouldn’t be hurting at my age (closing in on 26)

So I’ve got a few theories I’m just going to bounce around here for the hell of it. No doubt some of you have gone through it as well—or are going to go through it in the coming years.

Let’s talk.

LOW T

I threw this thought aside at first, as I have plenty of motivation in all aspects of life—except, apparently, going out in a new city and staying up later than 1am.

But, actually—yeah, it’s probably true. I haven’t been to a gym in nearly three months. I had no means of transit while I was visiting the States. I’d been lifting heavy for the last few months of the year. I decided to take that time to do some bodyweight stuff, implement a stretching routine, and try to let my body heal.

That time was okay. I leaned out a bit, figured out how to stretch, and felt pretty good. I was ready to get to a gym when I arrived in Kotor.

Except…I don’t think there is a single gym in Montenegro. So that was another month gone. Now it’s been nearly three. That’s bad, and has likely attributed to my recent dip in energy as of late.

On the plus side, I’ve started yoga and it’s definitely helped my posture and pain from being a nomad who hunches over a laptop all day.

NOVELTY

A real possibility. To an extent, nightlife doesn’t hold the same appeal to me as it used to. I don’t like drinking as heavy as I once did. Loud music that used to get me going is now seen as more of an annoyance.

But, someone brought up a point—traveling solo and going out is tiring. It’s totally different when I have people to hang out with. I could easily stay up late. But at this point, it’s just…

“Yeah, another city…more bars…more language barriers…meh…I’d rather just work.”

Speaking of…

WORK

This is probably the biggest one. When I moved to Europe (Krakow) last year (April), I went out. A lot. Probably four or five nights a week. I didn’t get much done, and the balance sheet for my business showed it.

I went out less in May when I was in Kiev, Ukraine, and launched my first course—The Harem Handbook.

I made a lot of money that month.

Then I went to Odessa, which I didn’t like much so I hardly went out at all.

After that I took a family trip and didn’t go out much. In August I ended up in Lithuania, where I did go out a lot and also ended up with a terrible case of food and water poisoning.

The rest of the year? I didn’t go out much at all. My business struggled over summer. Badly. To the point I thought about whether I might end up closing the doors on This Is Trouble.

Then though, I saw the results. And those results happened when I wasn’t going out—at all. I can probably count the number of times I went out to party on one hand between mid August and mid December.

And it paid off.

At this point, I’m quite comfortable with the business. King's Code and Cracking OkCupid sell well. Troublesome Solutions is a home run. The Handbook does okay. The University is re-launched (more details coming this week) and has been a success. My new book will be out in the coming months.

EMOTION

Despite financially being set, emotionally—I’m not. I still have that fear that the money could stop coming in today and that I need to keep putting in the insane work that I did for the entire half of last year.

This is probably a good thing because it will propel me to new heights. At the same time, maybe I should step back. Go out and drink a little bit too much once in a while and enjoy a new city.

In any case, I can at least raise a glass to that.

  • tddaygame says:

    Do you still consider yourself a player (just temporarily on hold) or did I miss something and you do still actively game girls?

    • Kyle Trouble says:

      I’m always going to consider myself that, but hey.

      BUT, I used to genuinely just enjoy going out and socializing. With anyone.

      I got to Poland tonight and am having fun. Your country just loves me.

  • tddaygame says:

    You must be one of those crazy extroverts then… I have a friend who has phases like that, it should pass.

    Ps. I’m leaving on Friday, don’t left Poland in ruins! I’d like to have something to come back to.

    • Kyle Trouble says:

      I am very much that. Tonight I went to a pireogi restaurant. Waiter was cool. Ran into him in a bar after. Hung out with them til 4am.

  • Jon says:

    The one thing you can rely on is change. I’ve gone over these subjects in my own mind numerous times before I realized that I was changing as a person. I had my T- levels checked and they were fine. I could no longer stand loud clubs anymore. And my work shifted to more impressionable prospects to where I could make a difference as well as making a living.

    I still enjoy hooking up but I don’t do it as much as I did when I was 26. It’s maybe a balancing of energies that happens with the constant self-evaluation and it’s probably different with each man.

    I’m always expecting good things from this blog but since your email about moving on to new things, I’m even more excited since your life has mirrored my own. (travel and ladies)

    Life is grand, my friend.

    • Kyle Trouble says:

      It is indeed man, I’m glad to have met like-minded guys like you as well.

      I try to just take change as it comes and not freak out about it—but part of me thought this might be as light, early mid-life crisis 😉

  • Joe Luger says:

    There’s definitely some fairly solid body weight workouts you can do when you’re on the road. The best resources I can think of are elitefts.com and breakingmuscle.com. I’m 28 and I’ve personally gone through periods where I want to work a lot and periods where I just want to go out a lot. You are probably in one of those transition phases.

    • Kyle Trouble says:

      Yeah, I found using an app helped with that. But, the problem is that it didn’t get me out of the house. I have a tendency to just get so wrapped up in things and then never leave my apartment, which is bad.

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