(Hey guys, Kyle here. This post was originally at Red Pill Reviews.)
Not too long ago on this blog, you might have seen James’ response to my post Why You Can’t Have It All. My argument was that you cannot significantly succeed in all areas of life (health, wealth, relationships) all at one time.
Today, I’m here to tackle the relationship aspect of that and tell you that to live a balanced life—your best bet is to run a harem.
Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s going to take some unbalancing at first as you focus on that aspect of your life. However, as you develop the skills you’ll get to have your choice of women, and still have plenty of energy left over to pursue other things in life.
How many times have you seen that guy. You know who I’m talking about. The man who can’t break away from his girlfriend for an hour to get a beer with his buddies—much less hit the gym consistently or build a business.
You’ve also seen that guy who throws away a good relationship with a good girl because she’s not getting everything she needs out of a relationship.
Having a harem will teach you to balance the delicate parts of life to make everybody happy.
Like I said, to build a harem it’s going to require you to dedicate yourself to the girl part of your life, at least for a little while. After time though, you’ll realize that you’re spending less and less time chasing after girls but are still reaping all of the benefits of it.
The reason it falls like this is simple: as you build up your skills with girls, you naturally develop the ability to keep them around longer. When you date multiple girls and lose one, it becomes easier to simply replace one when there are others to fall back on.
Once you have three girls that you’re dating casually, it really just becomes a matter of maintenance. Especially in today’s modern world—girls are not exactly flocking into relationships. They want to keep their freedom and independence, too. It’s only once they start to fall for you that they start pressuring you into something more long-term.
Of course, this casual dating environment means that people fall in and out of love at warp speed. But once you have a few girls you’re casually seeing, you’ll find that life becomes much easier.
Once your game skills are sharp, the harem system becomes passive for you. James talks a lot about passive income on this blog, so let’s take some of that thinking and apply it to girls:
Let’s say that Bill has a normal job, by all accounts. He clocks his forty hours a week, and gets paid the same amount no matter what—even if he works fifty (don’t you hate those employers?). If Bill is lucky, maybe he is paid by the hour and gets paid the extra ten hours in the form of monetary income (overtime).
Bill makes $1,000 and gets paid every week. This comes out to $4,000 a month (dependent on number of weeks) or $52,000 a year.
Now, contrast that to Ryan who has passive income. A rental property that makes $1,000 a month after all taxes and fees, and a small niche website that makes $1,000 a month. The rental property is managed by a property manager, so there is no time spent on that other than an hour or so of communication with the manager on a weekly basis. The niche website sells affiliate products, so there is no upkeep there, other than maybe a blog post a week and a little social media engagement—no more than five hours total.
Which one would you rather be?
Bill working forty hours (or more) a week for $4,000, or Ryan making $2,000 working maybe ten hours (and keeping in mind that both the rental property and website could be sold liquidly for cash)?
Pretty easy answer: Ryan.
Sam is the king of drinking and partying. He can usually take a girl home to his house once out of every three nights he goes out, and usually goes out three to four nights a week. So he gets one new girl a week, sometimes two if he’s lucky. However, Sam rarely sees these girls more than their one-time romp. And it’s not for a lack of trying – it’s them who doesn’t want to see him again. As a result, Sam has to continue going out to get his one (maybe two) bangs a week. Add in the cost of going out and the opportunity cost of all those nights out…
Nick has a main girl and one casual girl he sees. He sees the main girl twice a week; once on the weekend where she spends the night, and once during the week on an evening. He sees the other one night a week, and their meetings aren’t more than two hours. Once in a while he’ll go on a date with a new girl.
Which would you rather be: Sam going out four nights a week and getting laid on (maybe) two of them, or Nick, going out one night a week but seeing several different girls?
While not as easy as the Bill versus Ryan answer, I think most men would choose to be Nick over Sam in this case.
You see, Nick has the balance in life to now take on other pursuits. He has companionship, sex, and yet still has the freedom. He is not dedicating insane amounts of energy to chasing new girls.
It may be hard to believe, but having a steady harem does take you closer to having it all.
There will probably come a point in your dating life where a girl wants something deeper. This is a key moment for you. Say you’re an aspiring entrepreneur, or you’re trying to get to an elusive bodyfat level.
You’re now in a moment where your life is balanced and you can truly think about whether this girl deserves that. Having a harem means that you’re not relying on one specific girl for that area of your life. You’ve now taken your own fate out of the hands of the universe and put it squarely in your command.
If you don’t think it’s best for your personal development and she walks—you’ve now got other girls you can still date, and the ability to keep your confidence and head high.
If you think she’s going to be a part of your mission, you know that she’s the cream of the crop because you’ve now had experiences with multiple girls to directly compare her with.
Regardless of what you want out of life, balancing it is key. With enough work, maybe you can have it all.