A Nomad’s Guide to Life in Ukraine (And It’s Girls!)
In all of my travels, I haven’t been to many places as unique and interesting as Ukraine. You’ve got a mix of everything. Old-school Soviet architecture and family values, some of the sexiest girls in the world, and a general stigma against Western tourists.
So what do you get when you mix it all together?
A hell of an adventure.
I lived in Kiev, Ukraine during May, August, September, and October of this year. I lived in Odessa for June and July.
The general thing to know about Ukraine is this–the people are going to be suspicious of an outsider. Many of the girls (especially the attractive ones) are trying to escape to the European Union and greener pastures. So many old men have been coming for so long to try to sex up the local women–they’re very suspicious of anyone who speaks English.
With that being said, once you break into it and they start to recognize you, they become much more friendly.
For example, in May I had one coffee shop that I frequented every morning. The first few weeks, when I would speak my broken Russian and English mix, they would look at me in disgust. However, by the time that first month ended, those baristas were smiling to see me and making my drink as I waited in line. They realized that I was staying on at least a semi-permanent basis and that I was someone who was just not stopping through to take advantage of their women (and country, as a whole).
What do I mean by that?
Well, as of now the Ukrainian hryvnia is about 26:1 to the dollar.
You can have a nice three course lunch for about $3 in the center of Kiev.
Simply put, it’s a bummer for them. Most of them are slaving long hours to make the equivalent of $250 a month–which is their average monthly salary. In the capital city.
Can you blame them for being a bit frustrated with life? And perhaps not the friendliest to the Westerners?
Okay, Now…The Girls
Let’s face it, I know why you’re reading this post. You want to know all about the women.
Here it is: the women of Ukraine are some of the most beautiful (if not the most beautiful) on the planet. They are sweet, feminine, and eager to please.
They will also eat you alive if you don’t have yourself together.
Ukrainian women will test you endlessly, make you jump through hoops, and generally make you want to tear your hair out. However, after you’ve broken them down a bit–they’re yours. There is no hoop they will not jump through for you.
I saw this repeatedly with both myself and my group of friends in Kiev. The dating scene in Ukraine is so full of highs and lows that. You must come in with thick skin or prepare to be frustrated.
You should prepare yourself for an interrogation with questions along these lines. On every date you go out. There will never be a date where you aren’t asked:
- Why are you in Ukraine? (Lots of emphasis on the WHY–they never understand it)
- Are you a sex tourist?
- Do you think Ukrainian girls are beautiful?
- Do you think Ukrainian girls are easy?
- Do you want love or just sex?
You get my drift.
They aren’t going to let you off easy. If you fail even one test with these girls, they’ll be gone in a heartbeat. Even after you bed them, it can still be a bit of work to get them to “thaw off”, so to speak. A girl may still play games and make it hard for you to see her. It still takes a few weeks before they start to truly open to you.
But man, once they do–it’s incredible. They’re excellent cooks, smart, and usually pretty self-aware of the world. For an example of this, I gave my dating and travel blog to my Ukrainian girl–and she ended up contributing an article about how women could improve.
How many Western women would do that?
Now, I won’t promise that they’re all like that. Many friends have dated duds. There is a culture of shallowness–as the girls are obsessed with looking good and taking hundreds of selfies. But if you find the good ones, they are really good.
Where The Women At?
Depending on what city you’re in, the nightlife can be hit or miss. Kiev is so spread out that it makes it difficult. Add in the fact that it usually takes three dates to have sex with a girl, and it’s a recipe for frustration.
All the clubs are a ten minute cab ride apart (with the exception of Arena City which is chock-full of chodes and whores). Whilst taxis are cheap ($2-3 for these rides), and Uber is now available–it’s just a buzzkill on your night to have to move around so much. Add in the very cold nights, and it’s easy to get discouraged.
Other places such as Odessa are a bit more compact and you can more easily move from spot to spot.
As far as online game goes, Tinder is gaining in popularity, but not many girls are on it. In Kiev, a city of nearly three million people, only about 3,000 girls were on it (aged 18-29). I averaged about 30 matches a week. Contrast this to Krakow, Poland, where I got 200 a week.
Ukraine Date is a good alternative but the English will be considerably worse.
Prices & More Things To Know
Beer: $1-2 (every restaurant)
Bed: Private apartments for $15-30 a night, hostel/dorms are less than $10
Food: $4-8 for a nice meal out (McDonald’s will cost you $3 for the basics in comparison)
Other: Transit is very cheap. The metro in Kiev costs all of $0.15 to ride. You can take a taxi across cities for $3-5.
Be careful of buying water in restaurants–they’ll get you there by bringing you the most expensive glass bottle (already opened, of course) and charging you $10.
Ukraine is a great place for nomads, but come with thick skin and a willingness to tackle the difficulty of life head on. Making friends (if staying for any permanent period of time) is necessary just to have a social life with some masculine camaraderie.
The time to go is now. The currency is so low, it’s the time to leverage your dollars or pounds into having a great time. You can live the life of a king for almost nothing.
That may not be exactly nomadic, but with hordes of beautiful women and exciting adventures awaiting–why not?
If you liked this post, you’ll probably like my new book—Understanding Ukraine.