Why You Can’t Have It All (At Once)
From a general perspective, I think most of us can agree that most men are relatively simple in their life goals. The majority of us want…
- To be rich
- To be ripped
- To have sex with hot girls
Now, I’m going to tell you why it’s simply not possible to have all of it at the same time. Sure, you can build up one area and then the others–but all at once?
Forget about it.
THE MISTAKE OFTEN MADE
Guys often find this part of the internet, and go bat-shit crazy.
I can have it all now!
Naw, man–it doesn’t work that way. But I applaud you for trying. It’s far better that you try to stretch yourself thin and achieve all three at once than do nothing at all. However, your effort, progress, and results are going to be far, far more efficient if you choose to focus on one thing.
Common sense would dictate that if you want to be rich, you’ll probably need to build your own business. Not an easy thing.
So let’s theoretically say that you tackle this new business head on. You’re putting in the 10-15 hour days (at least) five days a week, like you need to in order to get a business off of the ground.
Do you think that when you’re spending ten hours a day working your ass off, that you’re going to have the energy to count calories down to the tiniest details that’s needed to become truly shredded? There will be exceptions here and there, but the answer is probably not.
Yes, you need to be going to the gym consistently and you should be making an effort to be in good shape. But to truly take that next step towards really good shape is going to take a lot more energy than you can dictate when you’re building a business.
Continuing with this example, do you think you’ll have the energy to go out on three or four dates a week? That’s what’s needed if you want to go from a chode to a playboy in today’s dating world. It’s not an easy path, especially if you have to start at the bottom.
Dating means drinking, late nights, hangovers, and texting games that will detract priceless energy from your business.
Don’t believe me?
Nope, he was (and still is, as far as I know) going to sleep at about 7 in the morning. Sleeping until 5 in the evening. He went to the gym with me once.
And that’s okay in his case. He’s at a point in his life he can afford to give up a bit in the fitness and money areas. He wanted to truly master this part of his life.
You’ll probably notice that the previous section was written with business-focus-so-neglect-girls-and-fitness spin. Which, you’ll probably (also) notice is how my life has gone this year.
So let’s step out of my perspective and into another. Say you want to get truly ripped. Fitness model level.
That means you need to be dedicated to eating everything perfectly. Not more than a cheat meal a week. That means no booze, very rare eating out, and constant attention to detail.
Good luck mastering game, especially if you want to be going out at night. One drink with your friends leads to another, then late-night munchies, and then next thing you know you have to play catch-up on your diet for the next three days to make up for that one regretful plate of carne asada fries.
Business? Good luck getting up at 6am to start your workday when you’ve been out partying until the brink of dawn.
Sure, you could say that you should forego nightgame and learn to approach girls during the day instead–but please.
Most guys walk around cities for hours to master that. 4 hours a day 5 days a week. It’s also going to take a certain amount of mental fortitude to withstand the learning curve–and you might need that same fortitude to stick to your diet and training regimen.
Some might say I’m just full of excuses. I prefer to think of things from a realist perspective. Sure, maybe there are the occasional guys that can do all three of these at once. However, years of coaching and writing this blog has shown me that it’s far better to push hard in specific areas, then re-focus as needed.
That doesn’t mean that the other areas completely fall out of the picture–it just means setting realistic goals. Writing a best-selling novel, getting shredded, and becoming an international playboy all at the same time is a lot to handle.
Far more realistic is to write the novel, try to drop 10 pounds, and go on 1 date a week.
Or “figure out the girl problem once and for all”, try to drop 10 pounds, and write a thousand words a day on your book.
You see–one way puts it all on the table and sets you up for failure, whereas realistic expectations make things far more obtainable. Then, once the novel is done, you can start going on more dates or focus more on the gym.
It’s easy to find the world of self improvement and be wide-eyed at the possibility. However, what sets those who end up succeeding apart from those who wallow in mediocrity is burnout.
Too many people set too high of initial expectations. Then they fall flat. Then they just gave up. Much like how I had a lot of “up and coming” bloggers with me two years ago–none of whom still write today.
Better to take it a bit slow out of the gate, and actually succeed.
You’ll thank yourself later.
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