Back from my beta schlub days, this one quote still stands out to me and stands the test of time. My mother (whom I love dearly) said this to me after I was down about being rejected by some girl.
“Try not to worry about it too much…I know girls like jerks sometimes, but YOU’RE the type of guy they end up marrying.”
I remember being a bit confused at the time. But I want to have sex NOW, Mom. I just want to lose my virginity!
While I couldn’t have actually explained it at the time, I certainly felt I was getting the raw end of the stick. I had realized that girls were slutty. Just not with me. It seemed like having my face smeared in shit.
I “get” the girls after every Roy, Jimmy, and Tim have used as cum buckets in college? How does that seem like a good deal, Mom?
Of course, Mom meant no harm by it. I would never hold that against her. But her quote still resonates with me, because my entire attitude with girls shifted. From wanting to be the guy they would want to marry to being one of the guys who “got her” before she wanted to get married.
Eventually, I smarted up and realized that I had to make some major changes in order to make that happen.
If you want to make changes to your life, the first step is realizing you have a problem.
“Admitting is the first step.”
So until you realize that it is in fact a problem to be the man picking up the pieces of a sodden and used vagina, you won’t be able to make that shift from being the fallback option versus the sexy, right-now option.
To make this realization, every man has to go at his own pace.
Some will have the “Aha!” moment, while others will suffer for several more months (or years, even) to reach a level of understanding.
The sad reality is that many men who have the aforementioned mindset also have this belief that girls are simply going to choose them. That one day, an angel will choose him to be her husband and that’s it. He can retire from the Game (not that he had any to begin with).
Nope, never gonna happen.
Even if you don’t desire to be a true playboy, you’ve still got to make the first moves with girls. This means that you need to actually go talk to some girls, go on some dates, and grow some balls to make a move. I’m not saying you have to nail a girl in the club bathroom or at the zoo (yeah, been there done that), but you’ve got to be willing to move an escalation forward.
Eventually, you can become one of those Roys, Jimmys, or Tims that I mentioned above.
You can have your choice of women, and not be the “savior”. You know, the fairytale prince who comes in and marries a girl because she’s finally decided she wants the nice guy.
No guy truly wants to be that. Any guy who wants to avoid that needs options.