The Confusing Path of PUA vs. Self Improvement - This Is Trouble

The Confusing Path of PUA vs. Self Improvement

Recently, I stopped a girl out on the street and was told she had a bus to catch. I wrote a post musing about why women react this way. It mystified me that a girl wouldn’t give her potential life mate more than five seconds to make a pitch.

A friend of mine left this great comment:

“girls are simply not putting men as a priority.”

Not sure I’d 100% agree with this.

Simply put, your apparent value was not sufficient in that moment to override her desire to get home. If you’d been dressed in a custom Armani suit, pulled alongside her in a Ferrari (exaggerating for effect here) – different story perhaps.

It’s good to practise approach skills, but they’re no substitute for self-improvement, as I’m sure you know. You could spend years and years chasing women on the street, whilst improving your value by nothing (as a LOT of PUAs do) – or you can pursue it as a fleeting side-interest, whilst you invest 90% of the time into getting rich, and then several years down the line when you’re loaded, the whole thing just becomes easy mode, and you can access a whole new tier of women that won’t even look twice at you now, no matter how tight your game is.

I know you know this, but I always like to vent on this subject.

Which leads me to this: there are a lot of “paths” for men to take. Which one should you?

I’ve already written before that I never responded well to the “PUA world.” What I mean by this is memorizing lines and routines, and making mass number of approaches. It just never appealed to me – I could never grab it and run with it. I wasn’t motivated. I didn’t approach. I…didn’t have the confidence. I can admit it.

That’s not to say that it can’t “work” for some people. Plenty of people go down this path and experience great success.

What worked far better for me was to take the “self improvement” path. I learned the nature of women, made some money, lifted some weights, and overall became much happier with my life. It was only then that “Game” didn’t seem so hard.

But then there’s the “just be yourself” mindset. Which works…but only if you’re a confident, successful man.

Being yourself doesn’t work **if yourself sucks.**


To be honest, I kind of combine both of these elements here on this blog.

I believe that you must be the best man that you can in order to truly be happy. That happiness and success will undoubtedly pay off with women – I’m living and breathing proof. However, at the same time, I think learning a few lines and techniques has the potential to skyrocket a man’s ability with women – and it doesn’t come at the same price of “unplugging” (i.e. admitting to yourself that you suck and that you don’t understand the world/women) that the self improvement path does.

So I really get the appeal of PUA.

It’s human nature to want fast results.

What do you think? Leave a comment below with your thoughts on the “PUA-sphere” vs the “self improvement sphere”.

(Keep it nice. This is a constructive conversation.)

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