America, I’m done. I’ve decided that living abroad is the best bet for my long term happiness. And really, it’s painful to write because I didn’t want it to be like this.
This is kind of written as a “letter” of some sorts to my parents. They’ve been quite supportive. I can never thank them enough for having the confidence in me. At the same time, I tried to explain everything behind the reasoning behind living abroad. But it was a lot to process. I don’t know if they will ever fully understand. Nor do I expect them to. They grew up in a different generation than I did. They didn’t have the same opportunities, for better or worse, that I do. But I’m going to try to explain it. So here goes.
For so many years, I was proud to be an American.
There was a certain pride in everyone’s voice when we recited the Pledge of Allegiance, or sang The Star Spangled Banner. From the time I was born, I always believed that America was the best country in the world. I never even considered the possibility of studying abroad, much less living abroad.
But for many years, I was also confused as to the why behind that belief.
Something always gnawed at my gut. Didn’t feel right. Like going for a run right after eating a meal. No matter what I did, how hard I worked, and how much I did exactly what American society told me was right, I was never truly happy. I’d go as far as to say I was truly unhappy. You saw me grow up an unhappy child with a Pandora’s box full of problems.
Life was always a struggle for me, despite the fact that on paper I had everything.
The thing is, even though I lost a lot of weight and turned my life around, I still wasn’t truly happy.
I was faking it.
It honestly took until I graduated college, started working, and making my own money that I began to really feel some self of worth. Because the entire time I was in college, I was trapped. I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing and still not getting the results that I truly wanted. For a while after graduation, I was working full time and was happy. But then I started traveling. Now I find myself conflicted…
Because my life was supposed to look like the below and it isn’t. At all.
I was supposed to get good grades in high school, get accepted into college, earn my degree, and start a career I would work hard in said career, putting in however many hours necessary to advance and make more money. I would find that one nice girl who made me want to forget everyone else, and we would have a wedding and raise a beautiful family. Of course, this would all be surrounded by a white picket fence.
Flowers would bloom in the spring while the children frolicked in the yard. Summer days would consist of BBQs and pool parties with the neighbors. Summer would transition into the orange and red leaves of fall, and the start of another school year. The little munchkins would get out of the car and bound up the steps to school to yet another year of learning, while I watched from the driver’s seat as I realized another year passed me by. Finally, winter would roll around, and with it the excitement of the holidays. Traveling to the mountains to pick up a Christmas tree, and hot cocoa around the fire.
But it seems the above life wasn’t meant to be for me.
The career – sucks.
Nice girl in America? Forget it. I became a player who dates four girls at a time. I wrote a book on how to have sex with women off the Internet. I worked harder on that book than I did any college class. I’m more proud of it than my college degree.
Family – If I even found a worthy American woman, I’d get to raise kids in a country where my son gets drugged for being energetic and my daughter is encouraged to be a massive slut.
I came to the realization that I was never happy until I stopped doing exactly what society told me to do. No, this doesn’t mean I broke any major laws. But I started to stand up for myself. Stopped caring what other people thought. Drove a little too fast in my new sports car. Started treating women a little shittier and getting shockingly good results.
Basically, I started realizing the truth.
So let’s rewind first – how happy am I? Or…
Firstly, I feel the need to explain this. Because on paper, it seems that everything in my life in Los Angeles is peachy. I have a nice apartment in one of the nicest areas of Los Angeles (Santa Monica). I can walk to the beach. I avoid the Los Angeles nightmare of traffic by walking to work. Speaking of work, I clear nearly six figures and I’m not even 25 years old. I’m employed at a very respected company that has a long history of success. I date girls who are hired as princesses at Disneyland. I have a solid group of male friends I can turn to. I travel around the world often, both for pleasure and for work. To top it all off, I managed to escape college with very little debt, and was smart enough to avoid the house/car trap.
So really, I am a free man.
Why the fuck am I walking away from this and living abroad?
You might think I’m a fool and are just keeping your mouth shut.
No, I am not unhappy by any means. Life on paper is very, very good. But something is still missing. Gnawing at my chest. In some ways, it’s anger. Anger that I suspect comes from the fact that I feel I was sold a load of lies about America – it’s people, it’s ethics, and the American Dream itself. And unless I get out and experience for myself what living abroad is like, I know that I will die an unhappy man. Because I don’t like lying. Despite all of my man-whoring and sometimes questionable ethics I practice in my day-to-day life, at the end of the day I am a man who believes in truth.
I only hope that I can discover the truth by living abroad, and that it sets me free.
I’ll take this down to categories to avoid a cluster.
— M Braivo (@Braivoman) December 30, 2015
I get the feeling I won’t hear a lot of arguments about this one.
On paper, everything sounds fine in regards to a career. Start low, work hard, get promoted. Earn money, retire. Except nobody mentioned to me that I’d simply be pouring my soul into another man’s idea and getting nothing but a paycheck to put food on the table with. No self-discovery, no building an empire – nothing of benefit for me except a comfy chair to sit at, and “stability”.
And the damn chair isn’t even that comfy.
There is absolutely nothing fulfilling about living a life trapped in a cubicle jail cell, taking order from a chain of command consisting of dozens of morons up to the greedy fuck at the top of the chain – who is, by the way, laughing his ass off on the way to the bank in his Ferrari. It’s hard to blame him though. I would do the same.
Meanwhile, the peons at the bottom are constantly bent over the table and forced to grit our teeth while we take another healthy dose of bullshit up our ass. Paid a wage just enough to pay your living expenses, and the cruel irony – enough to buy new toys. But those toys require more than you can pay in cash. So HERE! Take another loan in addition to the student debt. And the car payment. And the mortgage. While you’re at it, you know you need that 85-inch TV. Why? Because the Joneses down the street have an 82-inch. Bigger is always better.
What a cruel deal.
Tease just enough money to give a taste of the good life but don’t actually pay enough to avoid the spiraling pile of debt that most of Americans acquire. And guess what – it’s never enough because that’s just how it is. The American way of life. It’s hard to describe how powerful society’s push can be – it’s irresistible.
The life in Corporate America is meant to do nothing but suck your soul away, spit it out, and then maybe give you a piece back of it when you retire at the age of
60 62 65 70.
By the time I’m ready to retire, it will probably be 80. Social security will be run ragged. Who knows, people may be killing each other on the streets for a taco. There’s just no telling these things. I just know that I know there is no way I can put my future health and wealth in the responsibility of our incompetent, wasteful government.
Once I leave the corporate world I’ll be free of obligations. Some people will ask you what I’m doing, and when you tell them the truth – they will scoff at you.
“He gave up his stable engineering job? What is he hoping to accomplish by living abroad? What an idiot.”
I’m sure you will hear it more than once. Perhaps you already have in just the few shorts weeks since I made this decision.
There is no shame in going against the mold and chasing your dreams. People will say anything to make you feel bad about my decision. They may try to go as far as to make you feel like a failure as a parent because I didn’t conform to society’s definition of how I should make a living and live my life.
You will never get rich in a cubicle.
Engineering is stable, sure.
But it will never make me rich.
To say otherwise is simply foolish.
The only ways to become truly wealthy are to be in high end sales of some sort, or to build and scale a business. Do I care about being “rich”? Not completely, but that’s not to say I wouldn’t turn it down. As an engineer I will be reasonably well off, but will never make a salary higher than $150,000 USD annually. And frankly, the level of stress and bullshit I would likely have to tolerate at that level would never be worth it.
If being an engineer isn’t going to get me rich (think 1mil+ net worth), then I’d much rather live a less stressful life overseas and just be well off.
The only way to get rich is to start my own businesses in some form or another.
The only thing I’m sacrificing in the meantime…is stability. It’s a risk I must take.
And it sucks, because I’d much rather have been able to settle down here when it comes time to hang up my player’s coat. If you’d asked me three years ago if I wanted to just find a girlfriend whom I could be happy with, I’d have agreed. I became a ruthless man of the game because I had no choice.
From Dating in America:
I graduated college in 2012, but my freshmen year was 2009. As recently as six years ago, there was a sort of expectation that things would progress with a girl if the following milestones were met:
What choice does a man who is constantly beaten and kicked down by every woman he has ever had a romantic interest have?
Much like the book I eventually wrote, I studied the lessons of game harder than anything I ever did throughout my entire academic career – because I had no choice. It was either that or die alone. This is not the same generation that existed decades ago. My chances of meeting a nice girl in college, dating her throughout, and settling down with her were zero from the start. That’s because the vast majority of girls at college these days are too busy slutting around and attention whoring to give much of a damn about someone like I was.
They were only interested in the men that were already fucking all of their sorority sisters, so I became one of those men.
Again, not by choice. I would have had a much different life had I been born a generation ago. I would have been an excellent husband and father. Now? I am filled with doubt. Doubtful that I can ever be in a monogamous relationship without straying. Doubtful that there exists a girl good enough to raise my children. Doubtful that I can keep my children away from the poisons of American culture.
I believe that living abroad gives me the best shot at…
The food – why does my food overseas go bad in three days, versus in America where it’s still good three weeks later?
Public transportation – we must own a car because everybody does.
In any case…this is it.
February 9th (today) is the day I am packing my bag from the world of Corporate America – hopefully never to return. Well, I have two weeks to go, but needless to say I won’t be doing much.
To all of my readers who have commented on my rantings about my job, and support my blog and work in general – thank you immensely. Having to hold back this official announcement for so long was hard, but I’ve set myself up in a position for long-term success while living abroad. You will continue to get content about girls, self improvement, and of course – life overseas in comparison to America.
To Mom & Dad – I love you both. Please never think that my choice to live abroad was because of any fault of your own, because it’s not the case at all. I could not have asked for more supportive and loving parents; I’m sure you were as “lost” as I was as to the reasoning behind my unhappiness. It took a lot of trial and error long after I had left the nest for me to discover myself and what makes me happy.
Thank you for everything.