This post was primarily written with the help of a friend. His idea, his notes, I simply put it together.
It’s also something very unique – I don’t think I’ve seen much content on picking up at events like this. It’s something vastly different than a farmer’s market, that’s for sure. It’s unique in that it is a cold approach, but it’s really not.
People are there to network and meet people, so as long as you do it in a suave manner, it can be done.
You gents know how much I stress dressing up for dates rather than down. If you’re going to a network event, you have both the opportunity to grow your business and meet some cuties. At a minimum, you need to be in a sharp blazer. If it’s appropriate, absolutely wear a suit.
And smile when you enter the venue.
Overall, the best mindset is that you will mingle with the group, meaning not just with girls. You don’t want to be the guy that just picks up girl after girl because you won’t be invited back or will be labeled as “that” guy who has one thing on his mind. Engage men as well in the social setting.
When you’re talking with a group, casually talk one on one with a girl and feel her out. There will still be competition as guys will be hitting up the hot girls constantly.
Use your friends to get interactions going, most likely when you enter they’re already with a group and can introduce you.
Huge Tip: It’s easier to meet girls in the beginning. Arrive early, and you’re better off being the first charming dude she met rather than number 10. Same idea applies to cold approach at night.
My strategy when I did this 1-2 times a month at alumni events was to work the room for the first 10-15 minutes. I would bounce out of conversations that were going nowhere by grabbing or drink or saying hi to a friend. I would position myself near girls I wanted to talk to, and over the shoulder ask their opinion on what the group is saying and bring them in. I could then gauge interest from there.
Your goal is to find out, casually, what’s their situation. Such as what side of town they’re on, fun things they like to do etc. I always introduce my info before asking for theirs, i.e:
“Yeah, I like living in XYZ, it’s close to everything. What side of town are you on?”
“There’s some tasty wine shops in downtown ABC, are you into wine? What type do you like?”
In conversation, be fun and don’t talk about work that much. Discuss common interests like the college you both attended, etc. Cool events around town. The key is to bait a possible date. You don’t know if she’s just being friendly or interested, because it’s a casual setting Flirting doesn’t necessarily mean they’re available, as I’ve learned the hard way. You can be hitting it off and then she’ll drop the “I have a boyfriend card,” which is actually quite polite on her part and I respect women who do that.
The close: If you can get a phone number without taking out your phone, props to you. I know friends who have tricks to remember these details verbally. The moment you bring out your phone it signals to everyone in the room you’re exchanging numbers, and not for business reasons. I like to show a picture or two of my cooking class, and maybe later segue into a number to casually meet for drinks.
(Kyle’s note: Gents, I know the first thing that probably popped into your heads was to simply have a business card. But giving her your card puts it on her to reach out to you. Unlikely. I suggest carrying around a small calendar or notebook to take notes in. Take notes throughout the night. Then you can just jot it down and it looks casual. Make sure she doesn’t see the other four numbers with hearts written next to them, you cheeky bastard. I’m going to attend one of these events with him soon, so I’ll test out some techniques.)
An approach that works to show romantic interest is to compliment her on her style or appearance. You can even pretend to be bashful and say, “I know this is a networking event, but I think you’re kinda cute and I like talking to you about XYZ. Let’s grab a drink sometime.”
After the number is secured, chill for 5 minutes, spot another friend, and bounce.
Bonus tactics: Re-engage girls you met earlier with little witty things like, “So, how’s your “networking” going, I just scored a million-dollar account and am gonna retire in three years. What about you?”
Do not just get one number, get 2-3. If the event is 7-9pm, that should be enough to grab a few digits. My goal was always a quality number, where they remember me.
The key, and I can’t emphasize this enough, is to be friendly and charming. Clooney-style. You can’t even tell he’s hustling, he’s so smooth.
You’ll encounter cock blocks too, like a friend appearing or a, “guy she kinda knows and has always wanted to bang her” appearing out of nowhere. Engage, chit chat and come back later.
Funny shit I’ve experienced: Getting a girl’s number and finding out she has a boyfriend after she agreed to drinks. What a waste of time, and a definite next (Kyle’s note: I like those taken girls! A lot.) Girls with boyfriends should never give out their numbers in my opinion, but they enjoy the attention so they’ll do it anyway.
One time I made a bet with a friend over who could pickup a particular girl. I won and was rewarded with one of the most delicious comped steak dinner I’ve ever had. Victory never tasted so good.
Alright, that’s a lot, but it felt good to share. Back to the hustle.
Mixing pleasure with business is dangerous but satisfying. Have you ever picked up at a networking or similar event?