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8 Tips To Bang Colombian Women

My week in Barranquilla and Santa Marta, Colombia was absolutely amazing. I had some killer guys to hang out with, met some beautiful Colombian women, and saw some stunning places.

I even acquired what was basically a Colombian girlfriend for the week.

My stats with Colombian women:

colombianwomen

Colombian women…yes please.

Total Dates: 5
Dates with girls who spoke zero English: 4
Bangs: 2
Nights I got laid (out of 8): 5

Here’s how it broke down as far as my dates with Colombian women:

Girl 1: Came over on the first night, and did not speak any English. She was very into me from the start – we simply sat on the bed, drank wine, and talked on Google Translate. I fucked her within about an hour and a half. I ended up seeing her several more times throughout the week and she came up to Santa Marta to spend a day at the beach with us.

Girl 2: No English, but was a waste of time. Met off Tinder, and then told me she just wanted to meet people and talk. I kicked her out after about 45 minutes, and she had the gall to ask for a taxi, too.

Girl 3: Same as above. Came over, had wine. Managed to get her shirt off, but nothing further. Ran out of time on this one.

Girl 4: Spoke fluent English and had spent time in the States. Met her at a pizza place and it was pretty clear she was just out to practice her English; even though she had played all sorts of flaky games prior to meeting. She was also dull as shit.

Girl 5: No English, and had a boyfriend in Bogota. I actually managed to “logic” her into having sex with me, saying that a long-distance relationship was hard and that I would never ruin her relationship, as I was leaving in just a couple of days. I told her I understood she had physical needs that obviously weren’t being met. To my pleasant surprise, this actually worked.

“Girl 6”: I met on Tinder – she was Colombian but had been working in San Jose, CA – not too far from where I grew up. She and her cousin were staying at a nice resort a ten minute cab ride away from our apartment in Santa Marta. So we all rolled over there…but they were just boring as hell. Masculine Profiles and El Conquistador can testify to this. I wouldn’t even count it as a date.

This site is a great place to meet Colombian chicas.

8 Tips To Bang Colombian Women

As when I posted about Hungarian girls, here is a quick glimpse of who I am and the style of game I run.

Looks and Style: I’m 5’8″, maybe 5’9″ on a good day. 180 pounds, look reasonably big but not shredded. When going out, usually in a blazer at a minimum, with a pocket square and a nice watch. For dates that girls came straight over I usually just wore basketball shorts and a t-shirt. No joke.

Type of Game: I’m not a sniper, by any means. I’m very sociable in general, so it feels natural for me to talk to various people throughout the night. My lack of Spanish made both day and night approaching difficult.

1.) Learn Spanish.

I had no idea how little the level of English would be in Barranquilla. Admittedly it is supposed to be better in the larger, capital cities. Fortunately I had a few semesters of Spanish in college and wasn’t a total rookie at it, but overall you will have an advantage if you learn some Spanish – but with note…

1A.) Maybe…don’t learn Spanish.

The best dates I had were all with Colombian women who spoke no English. There’s something to be said for being forced to communicate with body language and touch almost exclusively. It’s very primal and powerful. The best advice I can give is to simply be wary of Colombian women that do speak English, as there’s a decent chance they’re just meeting you to have a free drink and practice their English, with no intention of any sexual relations.

You can get a free trial of a great language tool—Rocket Spanish. It’ll be more than enough to survive. Check it out.

2.) Hold their hand from first contact all the way to the bedroom.

I knew Colombian women were flaky.

I had no idea how flaky.

There were days I had four dates set up and none of them came through. There were several that cancelled on me two minutes before we were supposed to meet. Even the ones I did get out took a lot of work.

You must hold their hand every step of the way. As a high-value foreigner, you really can’t “over text” them.

You need to text them throughout the entire process. Give them a time. Ask them when they are leaving. Tell them to call a taxi. Text them while they are in route. I really have no good explanation as to why it is so much work, but keeping in constant touch throughout the interaction was how I had the most success.

** Do realize that #1 (learn Spanish) could definitely help in this aspect.

3.) Give them taxi money if needed.

My Colombian girlfriend is actually a promoter girl.

Not a bottle service girl, but think more along the lines of the girls who promote energy drinks such as Monster and Red Bull by driving around in the trucks, working events, etc.

According to Glassdoor, girls on the “Monster Ambassador” team make roughly $15 an hour.

My Colombian girl made the equivalent of ~$22 a day for an eight hour shift (70mil Colombian Peso [COP]).

It was a 20mil round trip taxi between her house and my apartment. That’s over two hours of work just for a round-trip taxi ride at no more than 10 minutes each way.

What I’m saying is – if they ask for taxi money, don’t hesitate to give it to them. 20mil COP is roughly $6.

A $6 bang might as well be free.

4.) You must touch QUICKLY.

The Latin culture is very sensual.

They all know how to dance, and are very comfortable with human touch. The American girl bullshit game of having to warm them up every step of the way is non-existent. If they like you, they’ll be touching you within three minutes of meeting in very subtle ways. You must have the balls to push that envelope. If everything is going well, you can kiss Colombian women within fifteen minutes of meeting.

This site is a great place to meet Colombian girls and get them into bed.

5.) Appreciate the culture of Colombian women.

They’re proud of it. Don’t throw it under the bus or make fun of it. I made this mistake once and had to recover.

6.) Colombian women have a silly sense of humor.

Masculine Profiles warned me about this before the trip, and he was dead right.

The girls will laugh at anything. You’ll feel like a famous comedian at times.

Don’t hesitate to make fun of yourself or your poor Spanish. I called myself a fat gringo all the time and girls just lapped it up.

7.) Be prepared for them to fall in love.

My Colombian girlfriend was saying she loved me after three dates. I don’t think it means quite as much as it does here in America, but there’s definitely something to it. After two dates she was telling me she didn’t want me to go out to be with other girls.

The trick is to handle accordingly. There are lots of articles around here that discuss keeping a girl around whilst still fucking around.

8.) Be prepared to break their heart.

Some of these girls have money and are quite happy.

From what I saw, most probably aren’t.

My little Colombian girl had the experience of a lifetime with me. She got to stay in a penthouse beach apartment with a beautiful view:

colombianwomen2

Santa Marta, Colombia

She got to ride a jet ski with me, which she said was the, “best fifteen minutes of her life”.

She ate at a city-overlooking rooftop restaurant with us, where I dropped ~230mil COP ($72 USD) for all four of us to eat and drink to our hearts content. That’s the equivalent of three days work for her. To give it some perspective, if I were to drop three days of work pay on dinner in Los Angeles the bill would be over $1,000.

It’s fair to say that Colombia still has a reputation throughout the world of being a bit of a shit-hole, and a dangerous place. Some Colombian women are looking for a better life. I am currently torn on whether to let this girl visit me here in Los Angeles. The day after I left she was at the Embassy trying to figure it out. On one hand, having the Colombian girlfriend experience for a week or so here at home would be awesome. She’d cook and clean and I’d show her Los Angeles.

The visa application is only $70 and I have more than enough airline miles accrued I could fly her for free (without even making a dent in my miles savings).

But she’ll never want to leave. She’ll be ruined for Colombian men. She’ll probably try to get me to marry her.

I’m torn.

Most likely she will never get to experience something like coming to the States, and if I get something out of it, great. It will be the trip of a lifetime for her. But eventually…I’ll end up shattering her heart.

Despite the negative tone of the last point, don’t let it sway you. Colombian women are beautiful, sexy, intelligent, and have a contagious energy that just rubs off on you. The amount of happiness I seem to feel every time I’m abroad is indescribable.

So do yourself a favor: go to Colombia, and find some beautiful Colombian women.

After landing back in the States and comparing the girls here to Colombian girls, I started applying for remote jobs online. I don’t know if this blog will ever be enough to make a full living on the Internet, but I have to get back to Colombia and the amazing Colombian girls.

Thanks as always for your readership everybody.

Let me know what you think I should do about Girl #1 in regards to tip #8.

Salud.

PS: If you have an interest in going to Colombia, or other Latin countries – consider checking out Colombian Cupid to get started.

  • December 4, 2015
  • […] Saturday night in Barranquilla, Colombia. I’d already got my flag in – on the first night, no less. But my goal was to get two […]

  • […] Unshowered, barely dressed, and still eating dinner – and I have my first Colombian date (who nonetheless speaks zero English) arriving on my door in roughly fifteen minutes. And unlike every other Colombian girl I met during the week, she was actually on time. […]

  • […] Is Nothing More Than A Frustrating Exercise In Futility‘, which really struck home after my recent experiences in […]

  • Brianmark says:

    How does Colombia rank now for you compared to the women in Eastern Europe? Where are they the best and why?

  • […] What are your favorite countries and cities? We also elaborate on some of our Barranquilla stories from last year… […]

  • Camila says:

    This is pretty sad what you’re describing and I also has a lot of true in it, it’s my opinion as a Colombian who doesn’t lives in Colombia anymore, if you just want to get laid go for it, but dont think that just because you are a gringo who makes more money than those girls you have any rights on them, yes Colombian girls are nice, fun and sensual but please they are still humans and try to keep that in mind just like you said many of them just want to get out of poverty or just get themselves someone who will take financial care of them, just don’t play with my Colombian girls and do be an idiot, it’s not necessary you already saw how easy it is for a gringo to get girls there and maybe they are just having sex with you cause you’re gringo not cause they like you.

  • Juan Pablo Cadavid Antia says:

    LOL you are such a loser really, first this is not self improvement and second you are totally putting yourself into shame. Where is the manliness you say you “teach” ? totally hilarious how every idiot can now create a blog! FUN!

  • Juan Pablo Cadavid Antia says:

    Your post doesn’t even make sense on “being the best man you can”. No one is more arrogant and greedy against women than a man unconfident about his own manliness. Because of people like you visiting, we have problems such as kid prostitution and sex tourism and because of that my city is plagued with all the white trash from the US. Respect woman first, and please don’t fill up the internet with this kind of shit about my country. End of discussion.

  • AA says:

    I stumbled across this when searching for ” Don’t fuck with a colombian woman”… meme because we live in this day age where people use memes to get their point across. Anyways, this “blog” pissed me off and I’m Colombian born in America— basically a white girl because that’s what all my friends think of me— so lame, have to go to other countries because it’s probably cheaper to do it there then to try in the States. I’m sure you’re shameless but this is rather a view of how pathetic you are and she ( or these Colombian chicks) are wayyy too good for you anyways. I’m sure you’re a basic, nothing special, small small man… probably should just marry her since you won’t do any better here at home

    • AA says:

      Yes, just saw your photo…. yeah, I stand corrected. You look latin/ even pacific islander then an all american abercrombie/hollister american gringo

    • Kyle Trouble says:

      Oh wow, some anonymous American girl comments on my blog criticizing me.

      You’re nothing compared to a real Colombiana.

  • […] girls’ faces, let me tell you that Dominicans girls don’t have pretty faces like most Colombianas […]

  • […] can be lacking sometimes. Typically, girls will have big butts and small boobs and compared to Colombian women (who have prettier faces) there is a greater variety of looks in […]

  • […] can be dangerous for newbies and the idea that Brazilian girls are very sexual is an urban myth. Colombian women can be devious and slippery. Bolivia and Ecuador are not worth it—the girls are ugly. […]

  • er says:

    From a Colombian woman, we are not all “flaky”… we just happen to know better and you are a piece of trash that can be seen miles away despite the abuse of your “foreigner nature”. its sad that most girls will have the impression that all tourist are there to get them… like john smith looking for Pocahontas. to the men reading this, don’t let this douche ruin your experiences. Colombia is a great place to learn about friendship, companionship, love, and romance, it will certainty evolve your heart and let you acknowledge the real priorities in life. you just have to have a good soul to make meaningful connections. spoiled people will do spoiled things any where… I can spot an asshole like this a mile away. we Colombian are courteous and culturally driven to be always nice to foreigners and nationals…. so we will smile at you and make you believe u have us in your hand….just so you can live in your little pity egocentric box of empty values, you LOSER.

  • Lorenzo says:

    I really don’t understand how those people come here on your website to teach tou the “right way”

    Come on!!! We are sexual beings we all give a fuck about fucking the best shots of our lives.

    If you just criticize that kind of blog it is because you are ugly, alone and frustrated…

    If you are awesome and attractive, you’ll have that game in every different countries in the world!!!

    I guess, Kyle, you have the right to talk like that and share your experience… and people interested can just thank you or ask you for more details…
    Others? Just leave and go to your favorite webpages and continue to think you are better than everyone.

    Man, I really hate lessons-teacher… In every general speech you’ll have people like that because they just know how to criticize and give names because they have a sad life.

    Kyle, I’m French, living in Africa for 30 of my 39 years old and I want to go to Medellin. My plane is in 2 days and be sure of it I will try to bang all the girls I’ll met and enjoy my hard stick being licked like an ice cream the most I can… before I get too old for that. Paid or free I don’t care !

    Thanks for your share and pay no attention to that “kind” of people.

    Why Colombia? Because here in Africa I got ass size standards very high for sure… a true woman must have Bum-Bum and I really want to meet Happy women who wants to laugh, teach you salsa and make you feel younger because our capitalist system made our “smart women” act like men, cut your balls off as a husband and think like an anime movie Princess.
    Asia is a No No for me, they look like little girls. And Africa… I’m bored I need something else.

    I cannot go anymore in Europe…
    Thanks to garbage press and stupid sitcoms, white american and european girls are way too polluated in my opinion… the only thing they can still do after their fourties is go to Jamaica and pay 500$ a man to be their boyfriend they can bore again and again with their primary feminism. Yes women have brain (to think about your money and how to manipulate you for it) yes women have heart (for children) but they definitely have pussy and ass to ask for our forgiveness!

    Man I swear, women have troubles in our societies…

    When you are 18 and want to date an 18 years old girl, she just doesn’t give a fuck of you… she wants older guys with money and car….

    Then when they pass over 30 they understand the game is over for them when it really starts for a man… And guess what, a man can still be attractive and seduce younger women until 60 years old… even more…

    That s why they come here for example to give you a lesson … They realize how short their game time is short and want to teach you, you must think about human beings…. and shit like that!
    Their dude has left cause they are BORING and the women really hate the power men have in the game. As long as you can still have a hard one and some money to spend, you own the game.

    You asked for an advice? #1

    Let me tell you, Marriage protects only women … it is not for men … it is the only thing that society has laid down to prevent a 40-50 years old man from getting rid of his fat old boring wife for a Younger and fun one.

    Yes we want children, and we need a hen that for… probably a good looking mold … but wait for the time it becomes really a necessity for you and protect yourself as much as possible because an american or a western european will tear you apart.
    Sooner or later your life will become a nightmare and a prison and if you have succeeded in life she will eat you all that you have.

    Be careful, more and more divorces and everytime the woman collects the children and take your money after eating your blood and your vital sap for years.

    Sorry bro, they really pissed me off and apologizes for my poor english

    • Kyle Trouble says:

      I really don’t understand how those people come here on your website to teach tou the “right way”

      Ehh, I’m pretty used to it at this point 🙂

      No worries, I appreciate your comments! Good luck on your trip to Medellin and let me know how it goes.

      Best,
      K

    • Heather says:

      Who the fuck loses game at 30? If so, they never had it. Stop your mouth from spewing dumb words that make you look ignorant AND hard up. Just hard up was unattractive enough

    • V says:

      It’s true that marriage can be a mistake most of the time but as a Latina and a girl, your views on the purpose of women in this world are shit. If you want to play the gender game then men always have way less game and if they have any after 50 it’s because of money. Your attitude is disgusting and any respectable woman would never think twice about fucking with you. So have fun with the needy and dumb. Might as well fuck a doll. I’m all up for having fun but not at the cost of a disgusting blog that I’m sure if any of the girls you fucked were aware of they’d have all left your narcissistic ass on read. It’s not even about “the right way” it’s just common sense.

  • Fred schwentafsky says:

    Ur spot on chicas Colombianas are way better than any gringa from gringoland. It don’t take long to get it. Unless ur an asshole.

  • Austin says:

    Dude I moved yo Cali .From La! My buddies come to visit . Avd i have to kick them out.. They see my 3min technic an cant believe it! 3mins in front of the chicks family , friends, kid ect.. Name , number, date, apt 48hrs or less ! Its a RAP! For pennies on the dollar! Many times for ice cream 2300mil an coffee 3mil.. Got my own apt! They used to time limit hotels 1 every other week with there boyfriends! Dudes cant afford a hotel every night! ( to many folks at there home all days)

  • […] countries I enjoy staying in are Colombia and Ukraine. My plan is to rotate between these 3 countries for the next few years. When western […]

  • jaya says:

    Great to know !

  • Dean says:

    Do women in Colombia like men with small genitalia? If so, please let me know because the women in America are rude and insensitive.

  • Mary says:

    you are an asshole. I’m a Colombian girl and not all the women need your money to make our style life good. I agree that the dollars have more value here in Pesos, but it doesn’t mean that all the women want to go to US and clean your house …. when you are just showing your City, so you shouldn’t say that !!!! Be more gentleman.

  • Traveler says:

    You’re a shitbird!

    I’ve traveled all over the world and lived in many countries. I am American and it really pisses my off to see typical shitbirds like you making a bad name for us.
    Colombian people are great and very beautiful. But show some respect, a little narcissistic cocksucker like you is not better than anyone else because you can buy them a little dinner and a taxi.
    It’s easy to pull the Gringo card, but I guarantee you are not meeting anyone other than a gold digger or a prostitute. I’ve seen it countless times, especially in tourist places.
    You can’t get laid in the states so, you have to go somewhere over seas like a typical sick fuck foreigner. The other guy on here is right when he said that you’re the type of person behind is the reason that there is child prostitution in the world.
    If I met you on the street in some foreign place acting the fool I’d probably just knock you the fuck out!

  • […] an apartment in Chiang Mai that goes for $200-$250 a month? Or why I haven’t ventured back to Colombia, where you can find a decent place (in a relatively safe area) for $400-$500 a […]

  • […] that order. Notice I didn’t mention wealth, as money is not as important as it would be in Colombia, Venezuela or the Dominican Republic (or across the pond with Russian girls). Argentina and Chile […]

  • […] Barranquilla, Colombia. A shithole, even by South American standards. That says all ya need to […]

  • Sofia says:

    Colombian women are constantly sexualized and stereotyped by articles like this. These so called “observations” are then carried on from this original article to influence what readers believe about other Colombian/Latina women. Please stop contributing to the mass sexualization of Latina women with degrading articles like this. The title of this article is actually “8 Tips to Bang Colombian Women” and honestly it is so degrading and offensive to any woman, that we are seen as objects and compared to each other. Articles based in pure misogyny like this one are the reason women are objectified and sexualized.

    • Romero says:

      Well said. I’m interested in visiting Colombia. Yes for the culture, beautiful women and the FOOD!
      Sex is part of the life experience, but not the main reason for visiting Colombia. I’m a bit of a camera buff. I love taking photos.. So seeing the breathtaking landscape of the country makes me anxious to visit. And if I’m fortunate I may meet a nice lady.

  • Ben says:

    Good read. I met a girl on Colombian Cupid who lives in the states and I’m hooked. She’s amazing in bed but doesn’t have the stereotypical ass that I want and she had to go back to her country as her visa expired. Question is, should I stay with this one or go to Colombia for something different and more selection as my sample size is small.

  • […] moments of landing in Medellin, Colombia, I knew life was about to change in some […]

  • Maria says:

    DISGUSTING

  • […] For a country on the Caribbean, the women here are a little disappointing from a physique perspective. You can make things work and find some fit girls, but don’t expect the bodies to look like Colombia. […]

  • Traveling around the World says:

    THOSE OBSERVATIONS ARE FAKE AND TOTALLY DISRESPECTFUL!

    Actually, you did not meet up with real Colombian women and you will not never ever met with them cause they would not never ever waste time with asshole men as you are. Colombian women are smart, beautiful, well educated, hard working individuals, full of values and good hearth.

    Those women that you met, do not represent a real Colombian woman, as you such a loser man who has to look for prostitutes on those applications, taking advantage of their ignorance, needs, and poor conditions that those women face. Even if they were prostitutes, they are women and must be respected!

    Stop the violence and discrimination against woman, would you like that your mother, sisters, nieces or daughters were treated as you did ? Promoting bad treats and hatred to women with those “accurate tips”, giving the Colombian women a bad name. I can not imagine those tips ” to bang ladies from USA ” by the way.

    We do not want men as you in this world!

    Stay away from Colombia and women !

    • Kyle Trouble says:

      Are you saying this because you are in fact, a slut who has probably taken her fair share of gringo dick?

      Sounds like a LOT of projection here, chica.

  • Traveling around the World says:

    THOSE OBSERVATIONS ARE FAKE AND TOTALLY DISRESPECTFUL!

    Actually, you did not meet up with real Colombian women and you will not never ever met with them cause they would not never ever waste time with asshole men as you are. Colombian women are smart, beautiful, well educated, hard working individuals, full of values and good hearth.

    Those women that you met, do not represent a real Colombian woman, as you such a loser man who has to look for prostitutes on those applications, taking advantage of their ignorance, needs, and poor conditions that those women face. Even if they were prostitutes, they are women and must be respected!

    Stop the violence and discrimination against woman, would you like that your mother, sisters, nieces or daughters were treated as you did ? Promoting bad treats and hatred to women with those “accurate tips”, giving the Colombian women a bad name. I can not imagine those tips ” to bang ladies from USA ” by the way.

    We do not want men as you in this world!

    Stay away from Colombia and women !

  • Christian says:

    Kyle,
    When you die you are going to stand before God and give an account for your life. Because God is good, He is going to judge you according to the perfect moral standard of His law. If you have ever lied, stolen,taken His name in vain, or sinned in any other way he will find you guilty of breaking His law. Because God is good he must punish your sin;the punishment for sin against God is an eternity in Hell. While God is righteous and just. He is also merciful,loving and kind in that He provided one way to escape that punishment and that was through the gift of His Son Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ fully God and fully man without sin. He died on the cross a death He did not deserve taking upon Himself the punishment you rightly deserve for your sins against God Three days later Jesus forever defeated sin and death when He rose from the grave and he is alive today. What God requires of you is that you repent (turn from your sin and turn toward God) & by faith alone receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Repent and believe the gospel while God has given you time

  • Mauricio says:

    Yo se quien eres, y haz insultado a nuestro pais y a nuestras mujeres, si vuelves a Colombia corres peligro.

  • […] then this is the best country for women in Central America. Honduran women can sometimes rival Colombian women in this […]

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