A Man & Woman At War - This Is Trouble

A Man & Woman At War

When was the last girl you had sex with who wasn’t me, she asks.

Fuck, is it that time already. Mental calculations ensue. Yep, about two months of dating. Sounds about right. 

Not missing a beat despite the calculation, he quips back: “15. Last week.”

Nice try, asshole.

Fine, 33.

Seriously. Give me an answer.

Must I?

I have an 11pm date coming over. It’s 10:30. You have to get out.

Two months is early for the “what-is-this” talk. This girl is into me, as my friend pointed out to me the other day. Subject change time!

Two minutes later despite the subject change, she comes back ’round.

You didn’t answer my earlier question.

He studies her intently. I believe in honesty. And can only dodge this for so long.

Do you really want to know?


What was your question, again?

OH MY GOD. Have you had sex with someone else this week?

Mentally counts back. Let’s see…there was the redhead Thursday, but since then…no. It’s Wednesday now.


LIAR. Okay, how about in the last two weeks.

You said the last week.

I also want to know the last month.

If I told this poor girl the whole truth I would crush her. 

Fine, yes I am still sleeping with other women.


Now, he waits.

To see if she can truly be okay with it.

With the understanding that he is a man. Biological destiny to spread seed and whatnot. Simply put, in terms of genetic survival the best bet is to sire lots and lots of children from lots and lots of beautiful women.

But he can’t tell her that he wants to shoot his sticky shit into the nubile twats of just-legal teenagers. Because girls get feelings. She is biologically programmed to pair bond. To latch on to him and every remaining resource. Tie him down and only let him out in the minivan to pick up the kids. Leave a shell of himself at the altar along with his nuts in a jar; along with a note: to be returned upon death.

What a shame that it’s basically biological warfare.

He wants to spread, she wants to ensnare. Maybe polygamy has it right, but society says that’s wrong. And she’s a female. The herd, i.e. society. Society says it’s bad. Do not let him spread his seed. Sire multiple children with exotic women in exotic lands.

No, no, no.

So he waits. Knowing that the subject won’t come up again, at least for a little while. It’s too soon. She knows she’ll seem loony if she asks for commitment now. Knows he’s too high-value of a man to be tied down to just one woman, no matter how beautiful she is.

Why do I like him so much, she wonders. And she’d be right. She is a Disney princess. Dress, makeup, cute voice and all. It’s not like she doesn’t have options. But the obsession has taken place. She must have this man because he will not immediately bend to her whim. She must have him because she must beat out all other women for his resources, because biology tells her too.

So for the time being, she shrugs off the fact that he has other women, attempting to convince herself that she will win him over eventually…

He pulls her close and strokes her hair. Whispers sweet things in her ear. Savor the moment. Nothing lasts forever. He does all this despite knowing full well it’s only a matter of time until he breaks her heart.

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