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How To Pull Off A Threesome On OKCupid (A Heartwarming Story!)

Too many men take their own lives and the lives of innocent others because they’re sexually frustrated.

Elliot Rodgers is a good example. Ditto for GermanWings commercial pilot Andreas Lubitz; who was dealing with all sorts of psychological issues.

The thing is, us men are really quite simple – sex and sandwiches. I’d also add wealth to that. In a nutshell: if a man has a steady supply of sex, health, and money – he’ll be happy. It really is that simple. If every beta man had a pleasant and thin 7 to fuck every day, who cooked him homemade meals, and he wasn’t broke poor – the Elliot Rodgers and Andreas Lubitzs of the world would cease to exist.

That’s why it warms my heart that Cracking OKCupid helped one man achieve his first threesome.

You can read the whole story by itself in the following four posts over at DCL’s blog.

threesome

Book Review: Cracking OKCupid by Kyle from ThisisTrouble

Two’s Company, Three’s a Crowd: A Date With Two Young Women

Planting The Seed: From Online to Date to Threesome Part I

Come to Fruition: From Online to Date to Threesome Part II

For reference, this was his first online dating experience about six years prior.

As we were messaging back and forth the vibe went from casual to sexual to serious, in what seemed like, an instant. She asked me, “How much?”.

[…]

I told her a price. I had no idea how much I was supposed to offer. All the info I got on prostitutes was from movies and television.

[…]

I finished. We got dressed. She called a cab and I payed for it. I was left with a strange feeling of being empty. My balls and my soul. I was also late for work.

After reading, reviewing, and then utilizing my book, this was one of his first dates. Possibly the first date off OkCupid he went on, though I’m not positive on that.

Note: emphasis mine.

Last night I went on a date with two young women. It’s said that you shouldn’t accept a date with a woman if she says a friend of hers is coming along. And if you aren’t that comfortable in your own skin then, yes, that’s probably not the best thing to do.

Now, in most cases I’d never advocate going on a date with two women at the same time, but props to DCL for reading the situation and diving head in, anyway. I think it was supposed to be a fun night for the girls with the possibility of him building something with the girl he met on OkCupid, but it turns out they were both into him:

One thing I would like to mention – at no point during the date did I have any idea that BOTH girls were sexually attracted to me (later, you’ll see below). I had a pretty good idea that Purple Dress did. But I thought The Tall One was just being really friendly and open.

After the date, he got a text saying…(read his post for the actual screenshot)

Next time we go out I’d definitely be willing to come home with you, and if you’re into it <friend> would also.

OH SNAP!

Shortly after, in what was a good move, he “went out” with the girl he originally met on OkCupid. Sometimes it’s better to stop at third instead of rounding it for the inside-the-park home run. I’d know. For the most part, his date with the single girl was really just “don’t fuck up” game, which he executed to perfection to get the notch.

There we were. Laying down beside each other watching The Nightly Show on my laptop. My arm around her. I’ve been in this position many times before. Every time, still to this day, I get a rush of adrenaline during this time because I know what is going to (hopefully) happen. All I have to do is not fuck up.

[…]

“I want you inside me” she moans.

[…]

She said she liked getting spanked and getting her hair pulled. One thing she said that was quite strange and interesting was that she liked cream-pies. I know right.

Here’s the deal, she also said I was the second guy to ever penetrate her. Hmmm? (Editor’s note: Highly doubtful)

Second guy ever and she already has a fetish for internal? Something doesn’t add up (relationship red-flag). That’s okay. I’m not looking for any serious relationship. I’m looking to get better at sex and dating.

We had sex a second time. Because I had already came twice, I just couldn’t do it again. So, I faked an orgasm. Yes guys do that. I’ve done it before. It’s not that difficult. Although that’s also something I’m working to correct.

[…]

Little did I know that this was just the beginning. A precursor to what would eventually become my first threesome.

So, on to his fourth and final post. St. Patrick’s Day. Total amateur night that I refuse to go out on these days, but if I had a situation like this I’d be singing a different tune.

For the record, “Filly” is the girl he fucked.

In the afternoon on St. Patrick’s Day I received a text message from Filly, “Hey D, Bangs (her friend) and I are getting ready now! Do you have a friend to bring with you for Bangs?!”. Turns out Filly’s friend was looking to hook up with one of my friends.

DCL actually asked a couple friends if they wanted to go. I wouldn’t have, because I’m a bit of a cheeky bastard. Stupidly, his friends turned the pretty sure thing down.

I messaged her back saying something like, “It’s just me tonight! What’s your address?” Filly reply’s, “Awe! That sucks 🙁 Okay well here’s the address ______.”

The door is open…

After I rubbed my faced all over Bangs ass she starts rubbing my dick over my pants. Then, without any prompting by me, Bangs kneels down and starts taking my pants off. She makes wonderful noises when a dick is in her mouth.

Keep in mind throughout this post that I’m no suave sex-king or anything like that. I just did what I thought felt good and what I was comfortable with doing.

I saw Filly peeking over into the kitchen from the living room. As I was getting head from Bangs I gestured to Filly to come on over. Without hesitation she comes over and Bangs passes her my dick like they were sharing a hooka pipe.

!!!!!!!!!!!

Lucky for me these girls had experience. They’ve known each other since high school and they probably share everything. “Here, you sit on his cock while I sit on his face.” Bangs said. (Editor: Yeah, highly doubting she’s only had two guys penetrate her at this point, LOL)

They switched that position once. I had no idea I could multitask so well.

Then I had Filly in the missionary position. As I fucked Filly, Bangs is kissing my neck and putting her hand on the base of my dick. I had one of my fingers in her butt hole. They were surprised I was an ass man.

[…]

Eventually, after dick sucking, fingering and some penetration, “You girls are going to make me cum.” I said.

“You can cum inside me if you want.” Filly says. I look over at Bangs and she says, “You can in me but not without a condom.”

So I rip off the condom and stick my dick in Filly. Having two women encourage you to have an orgasm INSIDE one of those women is something I won’t ever forget and the memory will be with me until I die.

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the best idea ever to bust inside a (likely) slut, but it’s been a month since DCL wrote that post and he hasn’t made an “Oops, I got a girl pregnant”, post yet, so all’s fair in love and war.

I really have nothing else to say. Yes, this was a bit of a shameless plug for my book. And it let me be lazy, because DCL pretty much wrote this entire post himself. Regardless – this is the kind of shit I love hearing. I truly love making a difference in people’s lives, and when I see guys pull off this kind of shit with the help of my book it, it just warms my cold black heart.

You can follow DCL on Twitter @DCLLive1.

If this has convinced you to buy my book, go here to check it out.

  • April 30, 2015
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