11

Danica Patrick Shouldn’t Be In Racing

danicapatricksucks

Indifference is an amazing thing.

When something doesn’t affect you in any way, shape or form, it’s easy just to let it fall by the wayside. As long as it’s not intruding on your own bubble, it’s hard to bring yourself to care. Much like when a girl you’re dating is complaining about her day….you just don’t…give…a…fuck.

That was how I felt about NASCAR driver Danica Patrick, up until this last weekend. Granted, I’ve always known she’s severely lacking in the talent department in comparison to other professional drivers. Anyone with half a brain and without bias can see that she’s coasting by on her good looks which results in sponsorship dollars. That is the reason she has a top-tier ride in the best equipment. The only reason this pathetic excuse of a professional racer is still making money by wheeling a car is because she was blessed with a cute face and a working vagina. Take either one of those away and she’s just another sheep toiling away at the office instead of risking the lives of others at 200 miles per hour.

So what the hell happened to make me write this?

Racing is my sport. Jeff Gordon was my childhood hero growing up. While I try to encourage men not to idolize sports icons, Gordon’s been the only sport and “team” I’ve stuck with since I was five years old. I enjoy watching the races, but that’ll probably end after this year when he retires. Basically, I am as much of a fan that I could be of someone who makes his living driving in circles (I know you’re thinking it – so I’ll just say it).

Last weekend at Vegas, after Gordon won the pole and was set to role off the grid first, Danica Patrick made a typical (for her) driver error in practice and wrecked Gordon. He was forced to a backup car and never recovered, ending a dismal race by finishing 18th.

So now that her lack of talent took out the guy I root for, I felt inspired enough to write a post ripping her to shreds. For proof of her lack of talent, look no further than the below video. 5:38 is the best one.

Now, here are the reasons Danica Patrick should be out of professional racing.

She’s Wasting A Top Ride

Nobody likes the person who just won’t go away.

This scenario doesn’t even apply solely to professional athletes. CEOs of major companies often stick around well past their expiration date – they just coast along and collect a paycheck while often running the company into the ground. To top it off, they walk away with a big severance package at the end of it. There’s also the lost opportunity cost of getting a new CEO into place and up to speed.

Another example is when a major sports star sticks around well past his time, while there is a better option waiting in the wings. It’s done out of “respect” for the work that the veteran has put in for years. For example, Peyton Manning is probably near that point, if not already. Unfortunately, sometimes people base their judgment off of what someone has done rather than they’re currently doing. That doesn’t fly in my world. Just because you used to work hard doesn’t mean you get a free pass to do nothing for eternity.

Despite the above examples, I can understand why it happens. It’s human nature to be a bit nostalgic and not want to let go of the past. But in Danica Patrick’s case, she was never good to begin with. The result is that she rides around, wrecking dozens of $300,000+ race cars (she’d be better off in a sim), and wasting a seat that could go to a driver far more deserving and capable. Someone who could put that car in the winner’s circle rather than floating around in the back.

danicapatrick

No talent Danica.

Safety

It’s reasonable to assume that if you are getting millions of dollars to drive a car, that you should be capable of handling that extremely dangerous piece of equipment. Yeah, shit happens and drivers wreck every week. But Danica consistently takes herself and others out, putting other drivers at risk. It’s not a “racing deal”, it’s simply a lack of ability to control the car in certain situations.

Sure, NASCAR and other modern motorsports have become relatively “safe” in the past ten years or so. With all of the safety equipment, drivers with no talent such as Danica simply shouldn’t be behind the wheel. If you put her in NASCAR in 1950, there’s a good chance she would have killed herself or another driver who happened to be on the receiving end of one of her lack-of-saves.

She’s A Bitch

Just watch below.

She’s A Piss Poor Example For Young Women

Danica is a poor example for today’s young women. She consistently loses her temper, refuses to take accountability for her actions, and makes excuses for just about everything. It’s never her. Always someone else – the crew chief, another driver, a stray animal on the track (kidding) – anything but the woman behind the wheel.

It’s crystal clear she’s just skating by on her looks. And you know what, more power to her. The world revolves around sex – money, fame, friendships – it all comes down to P in the V. So she’s using her sex to sell herself, take a ride, and make money. That’s fine and dandy, really. But we shame prostitution, stripping, and gold diggers. How much different is this? She uses her “good” looks to manipulate men into opening their wallets and buying her stuff. Except, instead of purses and jewelry, it’s expensive race cars. Then, when she wrecks said cars, they just buy her another one. Just like a desperate dude who takes back the cheating girlfriend.

The cycle just keeps repeating itself. Eventually, she’ll run out of time. She’ll hit the wall (figuratively and literally), the looks will fade, and she’ll fade off into the sunset, only known as a talent-less driver who never deserved anything more than to be pumped and dumped.

  • March 11, 2015
Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 11 comments