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Beta Male’s Wife Has A Crush On A Man Who Murdered His Whole Family

Heartiste has been preaching this for years, but this one is golden. Over on the comedy goldmine that is Reddit, there lies the below post. It’s a little old, but a comedy goldmine.

When we first started dating I had told a story of an old, good, close friend of mine from my early teens who ended up in prison for life for murder. She related a similar story but would only say that he “did some really bad stuff.”

“Really bad stuff,” in her mind equals: “Yeah…it was awful how he murdered people…mhmm…wait…what is that wet spot in my crotch?!”

Little while later we did one of those couples quizzes where it asked if you knew your SO’s best friend. Her best friend turned out to be the prison guy… I found that odd.

Eventually I pressed to know what this guy was about. Turns out, he was really bad. I am reluctant to tell too much because he has a unique case – he has his own wikipedia page. He killed his whole family, mom, dad, siblings – and it wasn’t a gun, and he did so before 18. He was young but was convicted as an adult.

That was your cue that she loves jerks and you should run away. Or, you know – murder a family.

Back in the day, like when she was a teenager, my wife was part of a church group that visited prisoners to give them Jesus and hope I guess. She met the murderer guy at that time, and they bonded. Apparently he’s a super nice guy and has a lot of followers. She’s not really part of the church thing anymore though.

I’m sure that’s what his mother was saying as he slit her throat, “My son is SUPER nice…”

She is pen pals with some axe-murderer and she visits him sometimes but he’s locked up so who cares, right?
Also, before they were together she mentioned that she set up an IRA for him. Since we’ve joined finances, it is refered to as “her” IRA. He probably won’t ever get out so can’t use it, and it’s like $50 a month so in terms of “picking your battles” it’s not worth it. But it bugs me a little that she might think of it as his money and not our money. Other shit would have to be worked out before I make that the forefront though.

A solid testament of game is getting chicks to 1.) come to you and 2.) buy your shit.

So, whenever a time comes that we visit her home state, where he is doing time, she absolutely has to visit him. This turns into a situation where I usually get left at some location – some siblings house while they are at work or just generally at some strage house by myself with nothing to do. That kinda sucks. She once invited me to get visitor permission as well, but we couldn’t pull it off in time. She hasn’t tried that again but acts like I don’t want to meet him… I don’t but I would, I guess.

Some prisons have little RVs in the back where prisoners and wives/girlfriends/wistful female fans can go and copulate. That’s why she doesn’t “try” to get a visitor pass.

The real rub here is that I get the sense that she’d rather not travel there with me, since she has to find something for me to do while she visits him. Like that’s more of a hassel than it’s worth and me spending time with her family is of less value than her visiting her axe-murderor friend.

I think she has an emotional connection with this prisoner that’ll I’ll never get to, like emotionally cheating. I dunno though. She can’t actually cheat. But he can give off a persona I can never live up to. He doesn’t have to deal with the day-to-day. On a certain level he can be the ideal that I could never be.Of course he has infinite patientce and she is always right, but the real world doesn’t allow for that. If I’m compared to him, I can never win.

Women in love find a way to have sex with that person. You’ve lost, man. Cut your balls off. Leave them in the charity basket.

  • October 30, 2014
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