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A Future Elliot Rodgers

I was talking to my little sister tonight, who is currently in her sophomore year of college. She told me a story, and there’s not much more that I can do other than hope that the young man involves in this situation stumbles across my blog someday. Little sis, help a guy out. But he probably shouldn’t read this post. In any case, here’s a rundown of the story.

My sister lives in a campus apartment with three other girls. Her boyfriend, let’s call him B, lives in the same complex, with three other guys. They’re right down the hall from each other, or maybe in the building over. Doesn’t really matter either way. In any case, B has a roommate, whom we’ll call Asian Boy. Asian Boy has taken a liking to one of my sister’s roommates, we’ll call her Asian Girl. To verify the integrity of Asian Boy’s desperation, I had my sister send me some pictures of Asian Girl. I can attest that she is actually quite cute, and your average man would find her easy on the eyes. Asians are not usually my type, but she’s short, slim, and has a nice face. I’d easily rate her as a 7, maybe a 7.5.

On a recent Friday night, Asian Girl was home alone, in her private room, and the door locked. My sister was at her boyfriend’s apartment, and the other two roommates were off being sorority sluts. Asian Boy is outside of the apartment calling Asian Girl to let him in. Asian Girls says no…she’s on the phone with her boyfriend. He continues to text and pester her to let him in and she eventually just ignores him. Then, persistence and desperation pays off in a stroke of luck for Asian Boy.

A apartment adviser is doing her nightly rounds of the buildings (remember, these are basically glorified dorms, rules apply) and sees Asian Boy stuck outside of the girl’s apartment. She asks him if he is locked out. He takes advantage of the situation to act like it’s HIS apartment and low and below, she lets him into the girl’s apartment. He then proceeds to walk down the hall to Asian Girl’s room and start knocking, asking her to let him in. In a panic, since she’s home alone, Asian Girl frantically texts all of her roommates to ask how Asian Boy got into their apartment, and come to the realization that it wasn’t any of them. Once my sister and her boyfriend find out what’s going on, they jet back to her apartment and confront Asian Boy. Nothing really came of it after that.

Now, putting aside the obvious stupidity of the apartment adviser for not even checking his ID and whose apartment it was, this is pretty weird behavior. I hate to throw the word “creepy” around, because it’s become a vile word that an average American chick throws at any dude she doesn’t like – but I think it’s actually justified in this case. This is definitely bizarre, stalker-like behavior. For fuck’s sake – it’s a Friday night, you live in a COLLEGE apartment. Why on Earth are you wasting time banging on the door of one girl who is taken?

BUT THEN, I heard that Asian Boy has been “hooking up” with one of my sister’s other roommates. Whom, in my opinion, is hotter than Asian Girl; though I do have a special affinity for slim white girls. So, either Asian Boy has major one-itis for Asian Girl, or he wants to pull off the roommate two-some. In that case, he needs to learn a bit about harem management. Subtle outcome independence beats rubbing it in her face.

Granted, I wasn’t swimming in pussy during college, so I wouldn’t expect him to have figured it out yet, but I certainly wouldn’t be going as far as to lie my way in to a girl’s apartment so I could scratch on her door like a puppy trying to escape the rain. At the same time, it’s hard to blame this young man. He’s probably been told his whole life of the Disney fantasy. Banging on a door, sneaking in, and begging to be let in could probably be portrayed as romantic in some shitty Hollywood flick. However, this type of behavior is clear indications of a lack of female attention, and overall skills in the lady department. Know who that reminds me of?

This guy.

Now, the likeliness of Asian Boy turning into the next Rodgers? Pretty low. Rodgers had gone down a deep and dark path.  Let’s hope it doesn’t happen. Continue to spread the word of game. It saves lives, literally.

Meanwhile, Asian Boy should keep hooking up with the hotter roommate. Eventually, her screams of ecstasy with him, heard down the apartment hall, would stir a desire within Asian Girl’s loins to much better effect than knocking down her door.

  • October 27, 2014
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