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Double Edged Sword

For those with a true knowledge of attraction realize that it actually isn’t that fickle. Rather, when you understand the underlying biology behind male and female interactions, it is no longer the confounding issue that every guy who was raised on the Disney Channel faces at some point in his life. They start to understand women, and rather than being angry at what they are, begin to have a, “Well, here’s the cards that are in play. Might as well give it my best shot.”, kind of attitude, rather than bemoaning the downfall of the nice guys.

The problem is that when you start to come out on the other side of the tunnel, you begin to see the double edged sword. You realize that a direct action of yours will attract a girl, and at the same time crush her heart. This isn’t a matter of being a flat-out asshole, but rather a direct consequence of being an attractive, goal-chasing man. On the flip side, you also realize that a failure to take said actions, while she might say it makes her happy – will do little other than make her subconsciously lose respect, and therefore, attraction to you. And with your understanding of how attraction works, you know that, as good as her heart is, you have to throw all her words out the window.

That’s the current dilemma I’m in.

As I recently mentioned, I took a job up in Santa Monica. Needless to say, my girlfriend Holly is not exactly thrilled about the situation. While I didn’t quite get offered what I was hoping, it was still a fifty percent raise from my previous salary, and it’s pretty much impossible to say no to that. Now I’m a 23-year old just barely short of the elusive six figure mark, and while I still don’t want to be a slave to Corporate America for the rest of my life, I’m not currently making enough via This Is Trouble to cut the lifeline. Someday, soon.

The girlfriend wants me to stay. I don’t blame her at all. However, I know if I stay – especially for her – the relationship will go down the drain. Women are naturally attracted to a man who goes after what he wants, and though they’ll never admit it, they don’t want you to chase them. They want to pursue a man who has a mission, no matter what the mission is; as long as it comes before them.

A Disney-trained man without the Red Pill knowledge would have floundered in this situation. And while I’m a bit apprehensive about moving, and love San Diego, there’s very little holding me here except a few friends and Holly.

Staying here for her would have resulted in a slow and painful death for the relationship. I was boxed into a lose-lose situation either way. These are the moments, the ones in which you have no choice but to cause pain due to knowing the truth, that make unplugging from the Disney Channel so painful. 

It makes me sad there’s nothing I can do to ease that pain.

  • alpharivelino says:

    “The girlfriend wants me to stay. I don’t blame her at all. However, I know if I stay – especially for her – the relationship will go down the drain. Women are naturally attracted to a man who goes after what he wants, and though they’ll never admit it, they don’t want you to chase them. They want to pursue a man who has a mission, no matter what the mission is; as long as it comes before them.”

    this is the #1 manosphere lesson, aka roissy’s 3rd commandment. great story. you illustrate the point perfectly.

    “III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.”

  • Atlanta Man says:

    I changed my priorities for a woman and put her first in my life, she left me 6 months later. this realignment cost me 3-5 years in terms of my career, once I was back on track and her other relationship had fizzled (plus she was 20 pounds heavier) she felt the need to try to “reconnect”. Guess how that went for her? Do your career and focus on you, If she really loves you she will move to accommodate you, you lead she supports.

  • BroccoliSoupTown says:

    I’m curious what you would do if she wanted to follow you. I’ve known quite a few women, both clingy and independent types, suddenly pack up and move across the country for no other reason than that their boyfriend did. Would you encourage her or discourage her from doing that? What impact on your relationship do you think it would have if you allowed her to tag along?

    • It’s only two hours away and I was open to the idea of her coming, because she has her family and “hometown” friends within 45 mins of there.

      She got a new job at about the same time though so it through that out the window. I Think it would have made things different. It would have bonded us but at the same time I would have probably felt less free.

      I’ve actually lived with a girlfriend before so I know what NOT to do if I decide to do that again.

      • tyndalion says:

        “I’ve actually lived with a girlfriend before so I know what NOT to do if I decide to do that again”

        For example? I’m curious, because I’m living with my girlfriend right now ’cause of a couple of factors. Would like to hear general advice from a man who has done that before.

      • 1.) It’s better for her to be waiting for YOU to come home, not you waiting for HER.
        2.) She does her share of household chores, and you hold high expectations for cleanliness, cooking, etc. Don’t pick up the slack if she doesn’t come through; you’re better off calling her out and starting a fight.
        3.) Disappearing for a night will cause a shitstorm but it’s because of hamster overdrive. Use it to your advantage.
        4.) Super easy to fall into routine. As in order takeout, cuddle on couch, watch movie, sleep. Don’t let it happen.
        5.) As always, be ready to walk away. Make sure only one of you is on the lease, not both.

      • tyndalion says:

        Thanks. This is a pretty good set of rules. I’ve been doing some of these, but not the first one, which is a pretty decent rule of thumb. Thanks, man.

  • dcl says:

    I am glad I read thttps://thisistrouble.com/2014/09/29/double-edged-sword/his post.

    “These are the moments, the ones in which you have no choice but to cause pain due to knowing the truth…”

    I
    often think of how obliviously happy I was pre-red pill. Just floating
    along, waiting for the girl to ask me to stay and not go. Back then, not
    too long ago actually, if I was in a similar situation to yours, I
    probably would of stayed. And not even known that it was all a giant
    test of my manhood and that her attraction would disappear.

    Reading shared stories like this makes me feel good knowing that other guys have done the same.

    Thanks for sharing this Trouble. -d

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