Understanding Love

After well over a year of dating and nearly nine months into a committed relationship, I reached an important milestone with my girlfriend this past weekend.

Yeah, the “I love you”, milestone is what I’m talking about. Some might say it’s about fucking time and that we moved at a turtle’s speed, but you can’t rush these things. At least not in a genuine sense. I mean, I “loved” my last girlfriend, but only because I felt obligated to say it after she dropped that bomb on me after a whopping three weeks of dating. Bitches be cray for trouble, what can I say.

She said that she loved me first. I reciprocated. And meant every word of it. Some might call it “convenient” timing, with my whole living and career situation up in the air, but how can I hold that against her, really? I’m a high value man who makes her incredibly happy. She would be a fool to give that up without a fight, and I’d even go as far as to say it’s smart for her to use every trick in the book.

But, that’s not what this post is about. I do not have an offer letter in front of me yet, nor do I want to think about how to handle my relationship until I’ve signed on the dotted line. No, this post is about love and my newfound understanding of it.

When I first started penning this blog, I was bitter against the world. I just wanted to stick my dick in as many vaginas as possible, and tried to give as little of a shit about any of the girls; albeit I did develop feelings for the cool ones like Little Red and Shannon. But, at the risk of sounding like a total fag, to me the endless soul-searching for happiness does not lie at the bottom of a vagina. There is so much more to life than that, and while pussy is great – it shouldn’t control it.

I started to crack with my current girlfriend, Holly. I genuinely care like hell for the girl. She has given me immense happiness and satisfaction that would have never been achieved in an endless five-dates-a-week hunt. At the same time, I love the girl. But this love isn’t exactly what I thought it was going to feel like. In today’s Disney world, we’re taught that love is a drug. An obsession. An “I can’t live without you”, stage-five clinger attitude. That’s not healthy.

I’ve been pleasantly surprised to understand that love this time around is more about respect, friendship, loyalty, and building memories than an unhealthy obsession with each other. Having been there, done that with relationships before, I understand the passion and heat that comes from those, but also understand all of the headaches that accompany it. There is none of that with Holly. And that’s not to say that sex doesn’t play a huge part of it – it does, but if your game is tight you won’t have any issues with that anyway in a relationship.

Sure, relationships are not for everyone. I was admittedly a bit terrified of hanging up the player suit and “settling down” a bit. I don’t regret it a bit. I adore the girl, and have a deeper understanding of what I think love should be with her – as opposed to the ideal, but never realistic impressions shoved down our throat in today’s world.

And maybe that’s what has so many men lost, and then finding the Manosphere. Maybe they’re just searching for love, and then come across game and the magical pussy that is bestowed upon the person who masters it. I did it, and I totally get the appeal. Every man should go through that phase, and I wouldn’t be the person I am without that. I understand that love might be fleeting. It might be difficult. It sure as hell is scary. While some say love is kind, I have no doubt love could smack me in the face at any time.

But as I write this, it doesn’t matter. I understand love, better than I ever have before.

  • Mimic says:

    Funny how the young generation of the Sphere like Sploosh also sees love as an important aspect on life.


    Good work on your life man, it seems things are looking bright at your side.

    • It’s easily explainable. The older generation is, well, older. Some of them have 30 years on the likes of me. And they just discovered the RP within the last…5-10 years or so, most likely. That means they had 40 years to develop the bitterness (frankly, it’s very understandable) that plagues any other blogs.

      I got lucky and found it before I built up too much anger, which has allowed me to see a different side.

  • I’m in a similar situation at the moment (though I haven’t said the L word yet).
    In my view, a man starting a new relationship after the realisation of ‘red pill’ concepts does not get inebriated by love (Disney style) anymore, even if he is willing to. Something is just not quite the same. Once a man becomes aware of women’s true nature he becomes a man with less fears, a man who owns his life, who is not afraid of change, who is not afraid of starting again if things go bad in a relationship.

    This lack of anxiety and neediness is the key to a healthy and successful relationship. Even though the fire is not as strong as it once was, this is now a fire the man can control, and with control comes peace of mind.
    I’ve come to the conclusion that what you describe above is how a healthy relationship is supposed to feel like. Good post.

    • Thank you, and you’ve nailed it right on the head and expanded on the post. It’s NOT the same as past relationships, where I was constantly thinking about the girl because I figured I needed to either 1.) impress her with some new thing or 2.) figure out a way to get her forgiveness because I screwed something up).

  • wizardprang says:

    Much of the confusion on this issue is the definition of love; Disney has a lot to answer for.

    Love is not an emotion.

    Love is not a feeling.

    Love is not co-dependence, psychosis or hormonally-induced excitement.

    Love is a *choice”.

  • hoodlum81 says:

    Good on you pal, you’ve come out of the other side of a part of the journey that a lot of guys in the manosphere (the most prominent ones in fact) mistake for a destination, and you sound like you’re in a lot better mental place because of it.

    Maybe this one works out, maybe it doesn’t, but the need for validation with endless pointless hookups has been quelled, and you can focus on more important things in life.

  • Enricopallazzo says:

    “And they just discovered the RP,”… means what?

    Married 13 years to Japanese woman. We never say, “I love you”. Asians have got it right. Love is shown not spoken.

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