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Get Laid By Playing Guitar

I get a lot of emails asking about my experience playing guitar and how to effectively weld an ax to slay pussy. As I’ve mentioned here, I pretty much learned to play guitar solely for the purpose of trying to get into a pretty blonde’s pants when I was 14. I’ve also written about how I’ve learned not to “rely” on guitar to attract a girl, and that I don’t bother writing songs for them anymore.

You can ask my girlfriend about that, she’ll verify.

Despite this…

It’s cake to get laid by playing guitar.

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Why?

  1. It makes it very easy to get a girl back into your apartment, which is a battle in itself
  2. It is a great way to demonstrate higher value
  3. It obliterates last minute resistance

Before I delve into how to get laid by playing guitar, let give a quick background on myself. As I stated, I started playing when I was 14. I’m nearly 23, so I’m approaching a decade of strumming on the six string. Prior to that, I had no previous instrumental training besides playing a gay recorder in 4th grade. But, I am reasonably talented on a musical level – I’ve always had good rhythm and key (except my voice, but that’s another story).

Malcolm Gladwell say it takes 10,000 hours to be an expert on something, and guitar is not an exception to this rule. At this point, I have put in thousands of hours of practice playing guitar, but probably not 10,000. I can pick up and solo over any song by ear.

I mostly play acoustic fingerstyle, and solos over popular songs. I also dabble with writing acoustic instrumental songs and occasionally I’ll play with a singer and do some open mics or something of the sort.

I never took lessons, I read articles online how to play and am completely self taught.

Why am I saying this? To prove that it takes time to get good and to hopefully ease some of the frustration of learning to play. Because trust me, there will be some.

The good news is, you don’t even have to be remotely good to get laid by playing guitar; keep in mind the title of this post isn’t how to shred. You only need to know four letters of the alphabet.

G, C, E(m), D

get laid by playing guitar

Yes, those four letters; i.e. four musical chords, are all you need to play a song to wet a girls panties. The best part of it is that these four chords can be transposed to 95% of songs in existence. Even better, the songs that girls like to hear are usually ridiculously easy to play.

And gay.

Keep it simple, stupid.

You don’t have to know how to shred, all you need to know is how to produce a basic melody and sing along (or hum if you don’t sing well). Don’t worry about hitting specific notes on a fret or getting the beat just right, the melody will do.

Those four chords can be transposed to any pitch using a basic capoAlternatively, you can use a pencil and a rubber band to achieve the same effect. The best part about the four chords – you can modify them to make playing them even simpler; you only have to move two fingers at any given point to change chords.

Yes, moving two fingers makes it that easy to get laid by playing guitar.

What songs to play?

Like I said, girls like the stupid shit that will make you feel kind of homo to play. Here’s some ideas that are very, very easy to learn:

  • Wonderwall by Oasis
  • I’m Yours by Jason Mraz
  • Collide by Howie Day
  • Fix You by Coldplay
  • Hey There Delilah by The Plain White T’s (substitute Delilah for her name, sadly it works every time)

If you want to be a little less homo, here’s a few more ideas that are a little better but are still cake to play, and that she’ll still recognize:

  • Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty (the John Mayer version is better for a solo guitar)
  • Hotel California by the Eagles
  • Time Of Your Life by Green Day
  • Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

Most songs off of this list will suffice just fine to get laid by playing guitar.

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But wait Trouble – HOW DO I PLAY?!

Relax, relax young one. I got you.

I used this site a lot for my beginner lessons.

I use Ultimate-Guitar to look up tabs and chords.

Here’s an interactive theory website.

I don’t plan on writing full series on how to play guitar, but if people are interested in YouTube videos I will entertain the idea of making them.

You’ve now got all the tools at your disposal to get laid by playing guitar. Shred on.

  • July 16, 2014
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