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The Greatest White Knight Of Them All

I’ve written about white knights before when speaking about my sister and her white knight boyfriend.  Let’s not get me started on that.  The point is, I don’t much like them.

Tonight, I was out with a friend down at the beach just having a beer and shooting the shit.  He is completely blue pill, 27 years old, has a kid, divorced, recently cheated on by his now ex-girlfriend, took her back, dumped her because she didn’t like his kid, and more.  I’m sure you get the point.  Try as hard as me and my other naturally alpha friend have, this guy just simply won’t listen.

He’s practically asexual.  

Recently, we had tentatively planned to go to a concert together.  I asked him to front my ticket and I’d give him cash.  He said sure, but never did.  Then, a week or so before, he told me was taking a girl instead.  Obviously, bros before hoes applies, but I didn’t really care, I wasn’t much into the concert lineup anyhow.  He showed me a picture of her and she was actually pretty hot – a solid 8.

So tonight he was telling me about the concert and the whole situation.  I think a bullet list is appropriate to make sense of this.

  • She lives an hour to an hour and a half away, to the NORTH.
  • For their “first” date, he drove all the way up to her place and they went to Starbucks (meanwhile, girls I date take trains to see me)
  • Their second date, the concert, was a half hour SOUTH of him.  He drove up over an hour and met her “halfway”, and drove her down to the concert.
  • He paid $60 for each concert ticket.
  • He paid for drinks (she didn’t even OFFER, meanwhile I’ve dated girls who do bring me pastries on our first date).
  • He then drove her back NORTH, right past his own house, dropped her off, and drove SOUTH back to his place.  All in all, even at 1am, at least two hours.
  • He didn’t try to make a move because he “felt bad” that she was late to get home…TO THE BABYSITTER.  Because – guess what – she’s 25 and has TWO FUCKING KIDS.

He’s going on and on about this date and how well it went, how they connected, etc.  I can hardly contain my nausea.  Keep in mind, I have tried repeatedly to teach this guy the way of the zen.  He will not listen; I have given up.  He starts complaining about how she is kind of dumb, and whether that’s a deal breaker, and I eventually drop something along the lines of:

“Dude, she has two kids.  She’s a slut.  Get her drunk, fuck her and be done with it.”

He gets livid.

He tells me if I say it again he is going to punch me in the face.  He’s also beat red at this point.  He starts ranting about what a disrespectful asshole I am and how I need to learn proper respect.  I was literally speechless.  I just could not fathom how he could possibly care what I call this girl – whom he has not even kissed, and how it would get to the point that he would threaten to fight me and jeopardize our friendship over calling his love interest “the S word.”

White Knight

A White Knight and his special unicorn

 My Friend, The Greatest White Knight

I just simply do not get it.  This is someone who has been divorced, fucked over on the custody battle for his child, cheated on, and has just generally been beaten and battered by women and the psychotic society that caters to their every whim.  Yet, despite this, he still manages to be a white knight, threatening his friend of four years over the fact that I called a single mom with two kids who was happy to milk him for a free concert a slut.

I guess, in a really pathetic way, it’s kind of admirable, the way he has continued to persevere and continue being a nice guy to get fucked over.

I finally asked him, “When is enough, enough, dude?  You’ve been cheated on and fucked over by multiple women.  When will you tire of being beaten down and stop respecting people?”  He said he could not compromise being a respectful person at any costs, and that I needed to respect the girl he was romantically interested in.

Long live the white knight.

I shook my head sadly and told him he was wasting his time.  I can only hope he learns someday.

Read More: Michael Sam, You Disgust Me

  • May 21, 2014
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