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Who Can Date My Sister?

A commenter by the name of Mesmerick left a comment on my post about my little sister.

Dude, I can understand your frame here but be open to the possibility that your being harsh on the guy. Under what circumstances would you be happy for your sister for any guy she was dating? Why does he have to tick your boxes to begin with? He’s doesn’t have to please you to be in a relationship with your little sis, he doesn’t have to be an awesome blokey-mcbloke whose got everything together at the ripe old age of 20 fresh out of home. He pushes her buttons and makes her happy, why does he need to concern himself with supplicating to her brother whose hundreds of miles away (and he doesn’t want to fuck). Not everyone has racked up the accomplishments you have at 22, use your lofty perch to to pause and reflect for a moment “There but for the grace of god go I.”

Why denigrate a guy for not treating your deeply loved sister like pump and dump trash, and making the most of circumstance and proximity? From your posts she sounds like a cool girl, maybe it won’t last but really, meh. Don’t waste the hate, just keep on trucking.

“Dude, I can understand your frame here but be open to the possibility that your being harsh on the guy.”

Truthfully, the main problem is this, which was obviously missed:

However, now these two are now LIVING TOGETHER next year, and they have now, perhaps inevitably, developed feelings for each other.

“Under what circumstances would you be happy for your sister for any guy she was dating?”

Moving on, of course I’m being very, very harsh on the guy.  As long as she’s being treated well, and she is happy,  then I will be happy for her.  This is, of course, provided that circumstances like the above are not in play.  I have no problem whatsoever with her dating, and I’ve never been the overprotective, hard-ass older brother.

He doesn’t have to tick my boxes, but I’d be foolish not to judge his character.  That is my job as an older brother, to look out for her.  He doesn’t have to have my list of accomplishments, but for him to take advantage of her hardships to make a romantic move on him, how can I ignore those red flags?

“why does he need to concern himself with supplicating to her brother whose hundreds of miles away (and he doesn’t want to fuck).”

What the hell does fucking me have to do with it?  This shows a very shallow base of knowledge for social dynamics.  He doesn’t have to supplicate to me, but if he is a decent human, he should want my respect.  Man to man respect, as well as a brother to my sister respect.  Granted, he has no idea that I know all of this, but as of now, I have no respect for the kid.

“Why denigrate a guy for not treating your deeply loved sister like pump and dump trash, and making the most of circumstance and proximity?”

She’s smart enough not to become a cum receptacle for every fraternity bro.  “Making the most of circumstance”?  The fact that she’s heartbroken and needs support, and he’s using that to his advantage to try to get his dick wet?

Mesmerick, I don’t want to make this an attack, but your rationalization hamster is spinning it’s little legs in it’s wheel right now.

Stayed tune for more on this as it develops.

  • February 23, 2014
  • Sounds like the questions of a man who doesn’t have a sister to concern himself with. I don’t’ have a sister either, but I have seen enough life to know your concerns with this guy.
    It doesn’t take much in the way of life observations to see that this dude is most likely taking advantage of her.
    Sounds like Mesmerick is projecting a bit.

  • sway says:

    It’s tough to judge. You’ve met this guy, none of us have. He could theoretically be a true “nice” guy who digs your sister for real. But since you’ve met him, I would lend more credence to your judgement that he is using this as a pivot into her life. Plus they live together. But at the end of the day, she will likely do whatever makes her feel good. Hopefully it doesn’t cause her too much strife.

  • laidnyc says:

    As I believe unsupervised women make terrible decisions for themselves especially given the current societal influences, I think it is the duty of closely related men (i.e. fathers and brothers) to guide her towards a proper mate. As such, Trouble’s word that he doesn’t like they guy is good enough for me.

    If he said she should do what makes her haaaaaapppy, he wouldn’t be doing a job, he’d be echoing Carrie Bradshaw.

    • I have to be honest, I haven’t met him, which maybe is, or isn’t fair.

      This is based off the situation at hand and what I’ve heard. I would also point out that it is my duty as older brother to be naturally skeptical.

  • laidnyc says:

    As I believe unsupervised women make terrible decisions for themselves especially given the current societal influences, I think it is the duty of closely related men (i.e. fathers and brothers) to guide her towards a proper mate. As such, Trouble’s word that he doesn’t like they guy is good enough for me.

    If he said she should do what makes her haaaaaapppy, he wouldn’t be doing a job, he’d be echoing Carrie Bradshaw.

  • See comment below; I haven’t met him.

  • Marchesa says:

    I have to say, I started reading your blog just for kicks. But as a woman in her early twenties with sisters I completely agree with your assessment of the situation. There is literally nothing worse than the sympathy jerk who tries to empathize his way into your pants. I would also be wary.
    But the other thing is, to some extent the commentator you responded to in this post might also be right to some extent- your sister is going to do what she’s going to do. If it means getting embroiled in a messy dating/living situation (and that one sounds like it’s going to seriously blow up-whether or not they get together/assuming nothing further happens and the next time your sister gets into a relationship with a guy and her ‘new roommate’ gets pissy about it- ) then part of being young and figuring things out. Don’t push her too much about this. You mentioned she’s smart and she probably secretly already knows how this is going to go down and is ignoring it. If things go the way you think they will, she’ll need someone to talk to and help her deal with this. No one was ever badgered out of a bad romantic relationship (and I suspect that her know its a bad idea is part of the appeal).

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