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Daddy, Please Stop Calling Her A Princess

Bodiam Castle

Dads Of The World,

Why in the name of Disney would you ever call your daughter a princess?  Per Merriam-Webster, the definition of a princess is as follows:

prin·cess

noun ˈprin(t)-səs, ˈprin-ˌses, (usual British) prin-ˈses: a female member of a royal family; especially : a daughter or granddaughter of a king or queen

Ah, you realize though, there is no royal family here in America.  Therefore, there should be absolutely no reason for fathers in America to call their daughter(s) princesses.  Actually, one could make the argument then that this definition of princess is not applicable in our society, that you would go to the next definition that would actually apply to our culture:

a usually attractive girl or woman who is treated with special attention and kindness

For the lulz, Urban Dictionary takes it one step farther.

princess

The sort of girl who has never had to work for a single thing in her life. She is usually sheltered to the point where it’s ridiculous, and spoiled beyond belief. She has trouble accepting that there’s anything wrong in the world and can hardly believe that there are people who don’t have an American Express Platinum or a heated swimming pool. She’s often gregarious, or, in some occasions, very much a bitch. There’s one constant, however. She’ll invariably be spoiled or somewhat snotty.

Knowing what we know, why does this continue?  Why do dads throw the label of princess on every cute girl from the time she can begin throwing up baby formula all over her clothes?

You see, dads want the best for their daughter.  They want her to be treated exactly like a princess.  Like royalty.  Because after all, she is perfect and deserves that, right?  With the princess label of course there also comes the prince.  Usually he’s a charming, nice, fellow.  So ultimately, dads want their daughters to find nice guys to marry, right?

Little do fathers realize that by treating their daughters like spoiled brats, they open a new door, whilst closing it on the nice guys.

Players of the world, enter.

I theorize that the more sheltered and spoiled a girl has been growing up, the more effective asshole game is on her.  She wants you to buy her a drink?  No, but she can buy you one.  Call or text when you say you will?  Please.  She wants flowers?  She gets weeds.

Generally speaking, the more of an asshole you are to an entitled cunt princess, the fonder her heart will grow for you.

This is because she wants a man to tell her no, because her own father was never able to.  She craves to have her soul pierced by the manhood of an alpha male.  She yearns for the asshole who mistreats her, because you, sir, failed her as a father.

You failed to do things as simple as telling her NO when she screamed for ice cream at the park.  You failed to ever let her solve her own problems.  You certainly didn’t fail to appease her of any and all blame, no matter how irresponsible, irrational, and stupid her decisions may have been.

You treated her like royalty.  Like a princess.

You disgust me.

Now, you’re disgusted of her tattoo’ed, chain-smoking, in-and-out of work, low-life boyfriend.  I guarantee you she gobbles on his cock like that ice cream you always gave in to.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

  • February 18, 2014
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