Valentine’s Day Field Report
One of my girlfriend’s sixth grade students got her an $80 necklace on February 14th.
Read that again. $80. Granted, I’m sure he didn’t buy it (and I think his mom is also a teacher at the school), but holy smokes. Eighty fucking dollars.
Needless to say, the kid blew me out of the water as far as money invested in
National Female Status & Attention Whoring Day Valentine’s Day. Fortunately though, I picked out a cool girlfriend who understands that it’s more about the company she spent the day with, not what bogus material items she could get out of a silly, made-up holiday.
I’ve never been much of a V-Day person, anyway. Really though, what guy is? Any guy who says he LOVES Valentine’s Day might as well put a big flashing sign above his head.
“Faggot alert, faggot alert.”
That’s not to say I’m really against the day so much as to protest it. I don’t mind a small gift and doing something fun together.
So, Miss Trouble Maker and I went to the zoo. We snuck some Vodka in with plastic water bottles, and bought a souvenir cup, which gets you free soda refills all day. Walking around looking at animals while buzzed is quite entertaining.
One, polar bears are fucking legit. Two, we got to see the pandas wrestle each other over a stick of bamboo, too. The problem is, the San Diego Zoo is huge, and quite frankly, I get tired from walking around the place. So after going home and reenacting our own version of the animal kingdom; we laid down for a bit like the sleepy lions.
After that, we had some fine New York style pizza at a cool little joint. Overall, it was a fantastic day for both of us. Just note that:
- I didn’t spend an absurd amount of money.
- We had an “experience” – no real material items were exchanged. I got her a small gift that was, well, rated “R”. Couples bond over experiences, not gifts.
- It was low-key.
- We both had fun.
So, next February, when Leo Hamel comes on the TV to tell you to buy some jewelry, tell him to go fuck himself.