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5 Reasons Women Should Read Manosphere Blogs

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Today’s post is courtesy of a guest poster, Grace.  She’s been a loyal reader since I started ThisIsTrouble, and she makes some great points in this post.  I am now accepting guest posts, so if you want to contribute to shenanigans, get in touch here.  

Make sure to check out her blog and find her on Twitter.  Enjoy.

5 Reasons Women Should Read Manosphere Blogs

I’m a woman.  A long-haired, dress-wearing woman with a particularly high-pitched voice.  I have lots of lady friends, and we squeal together, drink mimosas, laugh at tacky people, and talk about our love-hate relationship with babies, diets, and corporate job constraints.  We found our soul mates with our besties, because no one else will understand our mood swings like the women who were there after each heartbreak.  It’s almost like we don’t even need men!

Okay, so I’ve hooked female readers.

Before all the men stray from what I have to say, take another look at the italicized sentence.  The key word is almost.  What I didn’t mention is that, despite what most single female writers say, the main reason women bond is because of you.  Men.  Strong, hairy, smelly, sexy, masculine men.  I get that we’re not all straight, but good Lord have mercy on my soul!  I certainly am.  I love men too much.  Even writing this… just thinking about y’all… I’m feeling frisky.  I digress.

For those still reading, I’ll propose my thesis statement: Women Should Read Manosphere Blogs (and take it like a woman).

Calm down.  That wasn’t a feminist statement.  I dislike modern feminism.  Taking something like a woman is different than taking it like a man.  We are in fact, two different sexes, so let it be for Christ’s sake.  Being a strong woman doesn’t mean “act like a man.”  We have men for that.  When I say “take it like a woman,” I think about how I swallow and grin.  Let’s be honest, giving head is… awful.  Finally the salty, warm goo enters the scene, and you swallow it quickly so it’s not on your tongue for long.  Once it’s down though… you smile and realize it wasn’t so awful.  The man you care about has endorphins coarsing through his body, and you get to feel all empowered and shit.  So women: as you read manosphere blogs, realize that it sounds awful and some of it isn’t going to work for you and the guy you’re into.  In the end, however, you both get something out of it.

Now that you’re ready to take what I have to say with a mouth of salt, here’s my list (because everyone loves a good list):

1.  The men are manly.

These dudes are overall pretty conservative… or libertarian.  They do manly things like hike, rock climb, and use power tools. Some are bros, and some are country boys.  They don’t take shit (which is incredibly sexy), and they don’t want to do feminine things.  Do those things with your girls.  Seriously, have some girl friends.  Don’t be that girl who only hangs out with men.  As a girl with a solid group of male friends, I know this doesn’t work out in your favor.  It just makes you look easy, even if you’re a prude.

2.  They say what’s going on in their dirty little minds.

So many brunches involve women reading into text messages and things men say during sex.  It drives us even crazier than we already are!  These blogs on the other hand, aren’t sending mixed messages.  It’s the painful truth, and it’s what they’re thinking.  Take it or leave it, girlfriend.

3.  They want you to be a woman in all your womanly glory.

Take away the brash qualities of #backtothekitchen and #slutshaming, and you can see that these men really just want you to embrace being a woman.  Women are sensitive.  We cry and naturally want to care for something, ie. the main reason the sweetest girls end up with bad boys.  They innately want to make them better.  It’s the way we are, and it’s OK to feel that way.  Be a little protective, do the sappy things this modern world frowns upon, and give him a back rub because you like touching him.  Just be a woman.

4.  They’re into different body types, as long as you’re legitimately healthy.

Really, be healthy.  If your blood pressure is high and you’re pre-diabetic, your curves aren’t to be embraced.  If you have 0% body fat, you also aren’t to embrace your flat chest.  As a woman, you need the appropriate amount of insulation to produce estrogen… to ovulate… to have kids.  And you want kids, you know it.  You may not want them now, but you will.  Be your best self!  Also, squats make for a great ass.  Just do them.  Men will appreciate it, and you get to reap the benefits with a few nice smacks to it.  Don’t knock it til you try it.

5.  You learn their game.

This is possibly my favorite reason.  As in any game, it’s always good to know your opponent.  Now I know exactly what a man is doing when he flips back and forth between complete ass and sincere teddy bear.  I know what a neg is.  I also know I’m being tested… a lot.  While it’s added some frustration knowing that every man is ultimately trying to sleep with me on the first date regardless of his feelings, at least I’m no longer living in a fantasy world looking for Prince Charming.

What’s not to love about that?  Sure, get hot and bothered about a few of the topics.  Comment if you like, only to be hounded by a pack of wild, manly men defending their beliefs.  Instead of becoming that raging, hormonal beast that you become every once in a while, read into it to see the good.  That’s what women do best anyway, right?

And if you’re really lucky, you’ll actually start talking to one of the authors.  You’ll find out they’re not so bad after all.

  • February 7, 2014
  • April Lee says:

    This, I realize, was written with the greatest intent. I get where you’re coming from. Let girls be girls and boys be boys.

    The issue with it, which is a big one, is that it is incredibly exclusionary. It’s binary. Men are this way, women are that way and we should just accept that. That would be great if it were the truth. The truth is men and women are complex. We have narratives that tell us we should be a specific way.. and honestly? They are pretty harmful.

    Because “manly men” can also be sensitive. I think masculinity DOES include sensitivity. But I’m also not saying they HAVE to be.. I just think it helps everyone else when we, as human beings no matter what you identify as, learn to be sensitive. I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t be able to talk about things “plainly” (read: un-pc). That’s precisely what I like about this post. You say it like it is. But you’ve gotta realize that you’re telling it from your perspective and the perspective that’s spoken out loud.. what about the others?

    It’s something I had to come to realize about being a “cis” female (I had to look it up and realize that yeah, I’m the majority). I totally identify with what you said up there “dress wearing, girly girl.” Yep, that’s me to an extent. To hell with slut shaming! I say if I want to wear a fucking dress (for moi or for my guy or, if I’m single, the general public, then I’ll do it because I can and want to. But always, it’s about me, not them. That’s what our personal actions are anyway. It’s not about anyone else but the person who is doing). But the thing is, not everyone is that way and I’m not so sure the minority is so minor (otherwise why would everyone be in an uproar?).

    There are women who are genuinely more masculine (and it doesn’t mean they’re gay, or maybe they could be but who knows?). There are men who genuinely hate this narrative you just put up here. They don’t want to be that.. at all. Even some of my “manly men” friends feel this way. That’s because it’s constrictive.

    How about instead of focusing on “c’mon ladies, you know you just want to be a woman and men just want to be men” how about we say, “Let’s all learn to be comfortable with ourselves and realize we’re not enemies.” Because that’s just inclusive and real.

    And no, not every woman wants to have babies. We accept this when men say it but not when women do. I know you were trying to be cute but your cuteness is unfortunately very restricting and immediately takes away someone’s legitimate desires.. as invaluable.

    However.. I DO think it’s great to support men (or anyone) who feels comfortable with being manly. I know I personally love having a partner who is more masculine than me.I find that HAWT.. but it isn’t for everyone.

  • April Lee says:

    Oh, also, thanks for mentioning the curves bit. I agree whole heartedly. I’m a fan of Maria Kang speaking up about accepting obesity as normal (we’re content with it) but I think there is nothing wrong with loving every bit of yourself, all the time.. no matter your health.. because that’s how you become healthier. 🙂

  • grace9303 says:

    Hi April! Thanks for your response. It’s very well thought out and eloquent, which is refreshing in a blog comment. I’m also SO glad you said everything you said! That’s why writers like myself write things like this to begin with–dialog.

    First things first: my writing style is tongue-and-cheek. It’s honestly a ridiculous topic to begin with. Why women should read blogs by men who say they love women, but are painfully quick to call a girl with similar values ugly or fat? Really? An upsetting amount of men out there couldn’t give a rat’s ass if their wife is able to teach their future child to read… as long as she has skinny arms. These blogs validate that. It’s absurd. It’s barbaric. It’s unfortunately the way that subculture is. I honestly think most women shouldn’t read them to avoid getting offended. I could just as easily write a playful article about the Five Reasons Women Should Never-Ever Read a Manosphere Blog… Ever (although I’m not so sure Trouble here would be willing to post it).

    With that said, I’m also not as self-absorbed as you may think. I’m completely aware that there are different types of women and men, despite this thing some people call dry humor. I thought about naming the article “Five Reasons Women Like Me Should Read Manosphere Blogs.” No, that’s not as catchy. It also wouldn’t have served its purpose.

    I’ll end by saying that I agree with you that gender roles are a tricky, deep rooted social construct. I hate it that everything for girls is about pink ballerinas (I was never tall enough to be a ballerina). But that’s not to say that little girls who sucked at sports and would have rather played Mall Madness should be ashamed of it for the sake of empowering women. This article is for those girls. You go, girls! *squeal and embrace*

    • You need to respond to her DIRECTLY for her to get a notification, dork.

    • April Lee says:

      Hey! Thanks for responding quickly. 🙂 I believe in treating people respectfully (almost) no matter what. I’m also a believer that most people are good people and come from a place of good intentions (though hell has been paved with quite a few of those bricks, eh?).

      and I agree, girly girls should be happy to be girly. It drives me batty when people put ’em down. Because, duh, that was the whole point of the women’s liberation movement. Empower people to make choices about living the lives they want to live. Period.

      Julia Serano is a great critic of the feminist movement not including femininity as something to cherish.

      So, your intentions, I agree with 🙂 Thanks for posting and being open for communication.

      • grace9303 says:

        From one nice, understanding woman to another… You’re so very welcome! And thanks again!

      • April Lee says:

        Oh also, did I read that right? blowjobs are gross? 😉 Girl, on what planet?! Unless, of course, dude is disgusting and doesn’t wash or eats stuff that makes him taste super salty. Then yeah.. gross.

        But girl, *I* get endorphins running through my body when my dude finishes. ‘Cause it’s hawt.

  • Nia says:

    I have been reading manosphere blogs for a little while now, and have to say thankyou for this article. I’ve been hesitant about commenting, as these blogs are a place for men, though I do enjoy reading the articles 🙂

    At first, as I read, it stung a little, so I didn’t want to accept things at first, but the reality is harsh, and if these things were said gently they wouldn’t have the impact that they do. As you said, we need to swallow and smile, because in the end it will make both sides better for it.

    And yes, as the comments say, there are some parts that the manosphere I find distasteful, particularly as a Christian, but overall I understand the point they are trying to make, as I believe they are trying to deal with the hand society has dealt them.

    Anyway, thanks again for the article, it was a good read.

    • grace9303 says:

      I’m so glad you enjoyed it! It seems like you really got the point I was trying to make. Whew! I enjoy your term distasteful; it hits the nail on the head. It does sting, and it is uncomfortable to know that some men feel that way, but it is eye-opening to know that’s what they’ve been thinking all this time.

      Thanks for the awesome comment!

  • sway says:

    Sorry Trouble, this was disappointing. A girl coming on here to trash the manosphere with snarky, tongue-in-cheek writing? I understand why male self improvement would worry females who are obsessed with finding guys who are naturally good at getting women, but this was off base.

    • grace9303 says:

      I think we have different definitions of tongue-and-cheek. “Humorous” and “not to be taken completely seriously” come to mind when I use the term. Is it unacceptable to write something that should be taken somewhat lightly, yet still have truth? If so, I’ve read several articles, as well as great works of literature, incorrectly. That, kind sir, was snarky. I believe the only other time I was snarky was in the aforementioned comment explaining how quick some manosphere men are to be hateful towards women who agree with you… which you just validated. What a shame.

      • sway says:

        Lol @ “hateful”. Funny how you can be on “our side” and yet be so typical. No small penis or gay insults? I’m disappointed.

      • grace9303 says:

        Typical what? Female? Who gets overly heated about an insult directed at her? I never said I wasn’t sensitive or crazy. That’s typically how women are, and I won’t apologize for that.

        Also, why would I insult you back with a name that isn’t even relevant to the argument you’re trying to pick? I’ll be much more pleasant and less confused by you once you quit trying to make me the bad guy.

  • sway says:

    Sorry Trouble, this was disappointing. A girl coming on here to trash the manosphere with snarky, tongue-in-cheek writing? I understand why male self improvement would worry females who are obsessed with finding guys who are naturally good at getting women, but this was off base.

  • Tin Man says:

    OK, Grace. I admit, usually I skip anything written by “the women” – and I appreciate the fact that you are not writing this for Men – that being said – very good job. Consider this a big virtual bear hug, and then just the slightest ass squeeze.

    And yes, Men do appreciate a squeezable ass – one of our favorite things.

  • Tin Man says:

    OK, Grace. I admit, usually I skip anything written by “the women” – and I appreciate the fact that you are not writing this for Men – that being said – very good job. Consider this a big virtual bear hug, and then just the slightest ass squeeze.

    And yes, Men do appreciate a squeezable ass – one of our favorite things.

  • you are a woman. says:

    the problem with breaking the binary and thinking in exceptions is the inevitable encroachment on male space by females who have no place there

    not necessarily because they can’t keep up or integrate (though this is an extremely small percentage of women), but because men’s sexual impulse is difficult to control at the best of times, and keeping us aroused all the time has a tendency to break the natural camaraderie of the male social group in favor of competition for sexual access

    your view is typically female: you seek inclusion, equality, and comfort. while it’s admirable in a sort of mushy moral sense, it’s not necessarily ethical because what you propose has negative implications for the formation and maintenance of male social structures. if you’re interested in the public good (the core concern of ethics), then you have to allow for the creation of exclusionary male social groups because those groups give meaning to men’s lives. i know you’ve seen and experienced feminized males as “happy”, but i don’t think you’ve experienced life from their perspective. these men are often confused, lack direction, lack motivation, and lack meaning in their lives. it’s not a good way to be.

    see Rollo for a quick education:

    http://therationalmale.com/2014/06/03/male-space/

    i’d also like to point out that masculinity isn’t restrictive for males, and once understood grants deep freedom of thought and peace of mind. see marcus aurelius’ meditations for a reasonable expression of the masculine perspective.

    you are part of the problem. unless you start thinking in terms of ethics (the public good) rather than from the perspective of individual morality, you’ll continue to support policies which sound good initially, but which don’t hold up to scrutiny when judged in terms of the public good.

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    5 Reasons Women Should Read Manosphere Blogs – This Is Trouble

  • JediWonk says:

    You were to *short* to be a ballerina? Misty Copeland is only 5′-2″ and Maria Kochetkova is 5′ even!

    The usual reason software geek “moi” was called on to partner a professional ballerina is she was too tall/heavy for a professional male partner to handle when she did not know the role.

  • Rudi says:

    I’m not, I think that she showed a lot of impartiality. She sounds like a really good one, just obviously not someone that would be for marriage etc.

  • Rudi says:

    No… again this false equivalence rears its ugly head. Believe it or not it is possible to teach you child how to read and be physically healthy. By keeping this barrier up you’re making excuses. There is nothing “barbaric” (lol) about wanting an attractive partner and believe it or not (you won’t), hijacking the message is obvious to everyone. Gender roles are not “tricky” and they are definitely not a societal construct, they are innate and our civilization is a by product of the dynamic relationship between us.
    Mall madness should be shamed for its vapid consumerism, and you go girling for its ego centric pandering. This article was for you even if you can’t understand it.

    • Grace says:

      Yup. Don’t know why “binary” is seen negatively when applied to gender. When the author commented calling it a “construct” she totally lost her platform. The foundation of the manosphere is the binary and non-inclusive nature of the genders. She’s got a little more learnin’ to do.

  • Rudi says:

    What what way don’t your manly man friends want to be ?

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