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A Letter To Those In Love With My Girlfriend

Dear Boys,

I get it, I really do. I’ve met a few of you now whom my girlfriend calls your friends.  I know the truth though.  She does, too, for some of you.  Those of you who deny it to her, I see right through your little act.  You boys are in love with her.  And really, I don’t blame you.

Holly has that girl-next-door kind of vibe to her.  She’s extremely cute, but on an average day doesn’t look hot enough, per se, to be intimidating.  But, she has the ability to doll up and turn heads.  Shes feminine and wears dresses.  She’s got a flirty and charming personality.  She has the sexy kind of career…teacher.

I’m biased – but overall, Holly has the vibe of someone whom seems ideal to wife up and pop out babies with, which is every lovestruck, friend-zoned beta male’s fantasy.

While most of you aren’t good friends with her, but more of a social-circle group, please understand: there are a lot of girls out there in the world.

Despite this, some of you have come right out and confessed your love to her.  Of course, the sure-fire way to not get in a girl’s pants is to utter, “I…think I’m falling in love with you,” prior to even kissing a girl, much less plunging your meat into her hole.

Oneitis is the disease that keeps vaginas dry and legs shut.

Some of you others are simply sitting on the sideline, waiting for that day when she finally “logics” up and realizes that she wants to be with you.  You, my friends, have already sealed your tombstone with your own fate, because a lack of aggression rarely pays off.  Masculine aggression, on the other hand, does pay dividends…in the form of Triple D titties.

You boys can keep buying dinner for girls you hope to fuck, but all it took for me to get the girl you’re all pining after into bed was a $3 cup of ice cream on our second date.

At least one of you came out and said how “upset” you were when she and I began our relationship (more like when I stopped putting my dick in a handful of other girls, really).  Said she’d “sprung” it on you.  You weren’t “expecting” it.  You expected her to “be more honest with you”.

To that I say, it’s time for a reality check.  The world, and your fellow men and women, are rarely, if ever, fair to you.  You will dictate your own destiny, and if you continue pining after my girlfriend, your destiny will be Friday nights with a handle of Jack and a large collection of porn.  Not only is it a worthless cause to chase a woman who is with a, dare I say it, alpha male, but it will do nothing but depress you.  You will wallow in your self misery, wondering why she chose me over you…doubting yourself.

That’s what sets you and I apart.

There has not been a single doubt in my mind why Holly is with me.  Why the hell wouldn’t she want to be with me?  I’m attractive, stylish, have a great physique, a lucrative career, and interesting hobbies.  I have an unshakable amount of confidence.  I know you all put on a front with me, but deep down, you’re scathing.  Making snide comments behind my back, hoping it will get back to me and that you will somehow bring me down a peg, and she’ll realize what a true saint you are.

Keep trying.

When you tire of that, get in touch for some coaching.

Sincerely,

-TM.

Read More: A Letter To My College-Bound Sister

  • January 26, 2014
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