Relationship Game: Always Be Growing


Holly said something to me the other night, which should come as no surprise to anyone whose familiar with my stuff.

“You know…I just feel like I’m a better person with you.  You push me to be the best I can and I feel like I’m always learning something.”

For your relationship to be healthy, you both ought to be growing.  Now, it’s up to the man to make the “push” on a lot of that growth.  Fair?  Hardly.  It is what it is though, gents, you’ve been played the card of having a penis so you might as well deal with it.  Understand that you must constantly be growing yourself to keep yourself worthy in her eyes.  At the same time though, she should be growing too, and if she is not improving and working on herself, and bringing the best she has to offer, she should not be in your life.

You are the prize.

You must constantly work to remain said prize.  If you’re not…

She will not explicitly tell you with words.  Listen to her body language.  A cold shoulder, lack of PDA, and a vagina dryer than the Sahara Desert are all signs that she feels things are stagnant.  These are signs your relationship are heading to Mount Doom.  I told you, it’s not fair.

People say that relationships are a lot of work.  I look at that phrase in two ways:

  1. You can either work a lot on yourself over the course of the relationship, which will have many benefits.  You will always have a high level of fitness, always be exploring the next travel destination, always have a new project to work on, and always bringing new adventure and value to the table.  Or…
  2. You can work a lot on your relationship.  This means a lot of logical arguments on your end (which hold no merit in Womanese), a lot of apologizing, and a helluva lot of you wondering what you did wrong this time.

Which one sounds more appealing – a life in which you’re ripped, rich, and have a doting woman, or a life in which you’re a bitch?

Hard choice, eh?

Let’s touch on the “it’s not fair” thing again, because really, it’s not.  You must lead and do the work.  Show me a woman who is more motivated than her man and I’ll show you an unhappy relationship in which the man has to beg for sex like a dog wanting some table scraps.  You don’t want the “super-duper career motivated” women.  They’re too wrapped up in the next promotion to ever do something for you.  You must accept the ones that will bring you lunch, massage your back, and generally treat you like a king are not going to foster a ton of self improvement on their own.  That’s fine.  Let them be your loyal sidekick on your life of kicking ass.

I haven’t touched much about my last relationship, and I will soon, especially as I embark on this new one.  I know this stuff from experience though.  I got stagnant, stopped caring about myself as much, and the relationship sputtered, hanging on to life support for the last year we were together.  I went 8 months without getting my penis touched by my girlfriend.

Read that again.  I went 8 months, in a relationship, and the only sexual release I got was from my right hand.

Trust me, that was a lot of work, and not the good kind.  Work smarter, not harder.

Read More: Grow Up, Girl

  • January 8, 2014
  • dannyfrom504 says:

    relationship are only a lot of work when you’re learning who/what you are. my relationships are no more work than eating and breathing. once you get YOU, your relationships become second nature. if i’m not gelling with a girl i know it right away and i determine whether it’s it’s best to try and fix it or move on.

    like said, this is the time will take your lumps in the SMP. place more emphasis on discovering YOU, than on relationship. once you get YOU, your relationships become easy.

    early in the shit tests will be numerous. recognize them and obliterate them. and keep one law firly planted in your head-

    when a woman knows you will righteously go, she will righteously STAY.
    -Patrice O’neal.

    • Yep. I’m thinking this new relationship will be far easier than past ones simply because I get “it” now.

      And yes you’re dead on about the shit tests 😉

      I expect her to read this and ask me what a shit test is sometime soon.

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        No this will NOT be easy. Each relationship is different. What worked on past women may not affect her.

        The challenge is building up YOU. She’s an after thought. But each relationship grows your experience and how you react to her shit. And trust- all women give you shit.

      • I said EASIER, not easy.

        When you have a hot college dance team girlfriend and basically no game, the storms of shit tests, moodiness, and bitchiness are a 24/7 deal.

        Anything worth doing is never easy.

  • Dagonet says:

    Really excellent post. I haven’t read your blog before, but I’m going to start now!

    • Thanks man. I’ve admittedly have seen you on Twitter and a post here or there by you but I haven’t dug too deep into your blog. I’ll have to start soon!

      How did you come across mine?

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