Grow Up, Girl

10:03am, New Years Day.  My phone rings.  It’s my friend, Sheena.  Amidst tears, she tells me that she needs my advice.

Ugh, seriously?  I’m not hungover, but I was up until nearly 5am and don’t feel like dealing with stupid girl crap.

Sheena tells me that last night, she was fooling around with a guy, and that while he didn’t penetrate her, he rubbed his dick up and down on her vagina and she’s freaking out that there’s a chance of pregnancy.  Now, is there a high likeliness of this happening?  No.  Beliefs about the effectiveness of the pull-out method seem to vary, with guys like Matt of the 3 Bromigos having great success at avoiding pregnancy with it:

All jokes aside, I like to have sex without condoms. The past 12 girls I’ve had sex with have all been without a condom, and I’m STD and baby-free. Someone I know has never used a condom and has had sex with over 50 girls. He’s also STD and baby-free.

However, .org pregnancy sites seem to suggest that pre-cum does contain ejaculate:

Can pregnancy occur, if penetration only happens for a few seconds, can a woman get pregnant? Anytime the penis comes into direct contact with the vaginal area, there is the chance of pregnancy. The probability is extremely low particularly compared to if intercourse with ejaculation took place, but there is still a risk.

But, I regress.  This post is not to debate the merits of pulling and praying.  I subscribe to a “wrap it before you tap it” mindset.

I told Sheena that the chances of her actually getting pregnant were extremely low, but if she wanted to be totally, walk over to the drugstore and buy the pill for $40, or go to Planned Parenthood and get one for free.  But no, she wouldn’t do that, she was too embarrassed.

Here’s the thing about this girl: she’s 23 years old and a virgin.  That’s great, right!  We shouldn’t be promoting sluttiness from women.  However, I think Sheena uses her all-holy virginity as more of a trump card, than anything.  I think my fellow ROK writer Samseau summed it up best in one of his articles:

She portrays her virginity as valuable, when in fact it represents her inability to bond with a man.

She frames the conversation as something she is saving for “her husband,” that is, something she is using as a bartering chip for the best possible deal in the mating game. She makes it sound like no one has been willing to marry her.

While Samseau wrote those last sentences about an Olympic athlete, you can substitute Sheena in to those sentences and it fits her to a T.  She dangles her virginity like a carrot; making the men dance around her and dote on her in exchange for handjobs, which she’s probably damn good at by now.  She did grow up in a pretty Christian household, and has remained a virgin, but certainly not completely chaste, since we lived together in the dorms about four years ago.

So here we are, on New Year’s Eve, and she’s got her thong pushed to the side with a guy rubbing his dick around her pussy, but not getting inside.  Yet, the next morning she is unable to muster the courage to walk down the pharmacy and utter 7 words:

“Can I get a Plan B pill?”

She said she was literally too embarrassed to do so.  She sounded ashamed as to what she had done.  What’s worse though – the embarrassment of buying that pill or the embarrassment of telling everybody you got pregnant from playing “rub” the tip.

I told her that despite the low chance of pregnancy, she should just do it for peace of mind.  Otherwise, she has to spend the next month waiting for her period to come, and there’s the chance she’ll be so stressed she’ll end up missing it or something stupid.

If you’re going to fool around with boys, you have to have the maturity to handle the consequences like a grown woman.  And at 23 years old, you should be plenty mature enough to walk down to a pharmacy and buy a fucking pill without having to call multiple friends and tell them the sob story.  If you can’t manage that, then you have no business having sex.

I love you, but, grow up, girl.

Up Next: Honest Advice For My College Female Friends

  • MattC says:

    Good post mate.

    One thing to ALWAYS be wary of as a guy if you’re going in raw is to always go to the toilet for a piss if she’s given you head before having sex without a condom. This is to make sure there’s no sperm cells lingering at the tip of your dick which CAN get her pregnant.

    • Thanks for stopping by man!

      Are you sure about that though? My thought process is that, if pre-cum DOES contain legit sperm, what difference is it between getting head and actually fucking her? Now, if she gives you head and you blow your load, I know you definitely need to as pissing is acidic enough to clear your pipes of sperm.

      And if it doesn’t contain sperm, getting head beforehand shouldn’t matter, because when you fuck her you’ll be generating the pre cum (same as when you get head).


      • MattC says:

        There are sperm cells in pre-cum, yeah, but not a lot. If you’ve blown your load, you’ll have more active sperm cells in your dick than you would if it was pre-cum which is more likely to get her pregnant if you don’t piss it out.

  • Tin Man says:

    First, she’s a woman – and therefore emotional and not rational in her thought process. Second, she sounds plenty slutty – sure she may be a virgin (or hasn’t had vaginal sex) but that doesn’t give her a pass on the slutty or sexual experience scale. Third, why did you even answer the phone? Fourth, if you’re going to have sex, there’s only one way to ensure you don’t get a woman pregnant – get yourself snipped. Everything else is just playing the odds – even if they’re the odds of winning the lottery or getting hit by a meteor. If you’re gun has bullets in it, it can go off and kill someone.

    • 1.) Agreed.
      2.) I’m willing to give $100 to a fellow blogger to seduce her into bed so she can just get it over with.
      3.) New Year’s Day…mid morning, I figured she was just calling to say Happy New Year.
      4.) I gave her the same example. Personally I don’t play with fire, no matter how good it feels.

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