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Grow Up, Girl

10:03am, New Years Day.  My phone rings.  It’s my friend, Sheena.  Amidst tears, she tells me that she needs my advice.

Ugh, seriously?  I’m not hungover, but I was up until nearly 5am and don’t feel like dealing with stupid girl crap.

Sheena tells me that last night, she was fooling around with a guy, and that while he didn’t penetrate her, he rubbed his dick up and down on her vagina and she’s freaking out that there’s a chance of pregnancy.  Now, is there a high likeliness of this happening?  No.  Beliefs about the effectiveness of the pull-out method seem to vary, with guys like Matt of the 3 Bromigos having great success at avoiding pregnancy with it:

All jokes aside, I like to have sex without condoms. The past 12 girls I’ve had sex with have all been without a condom, and I’m STD and baby-free. Someone I know has never used a condom and has had sex with over 50 girls. He’s also STD and baby-free.

However, .org pregnancy sites seem to suggest that pre-cum does contain ejaculate:

Can pregnancy occur, if penetration only happens for a few seconds, can a woman get pregnant? Anytime the penis comes into direct contact with the vaginal area, there is the chance of pregnancy. The probability is extremely low particularly compared to if intercourse with ejaculation took place, but there is still a risk.

But, I regress.  This post is not to debate the merits of pulling and praying.  I subscribe to a “wrap it before you tap it” mindset.

I told Sheena that the chances of her actually getting pregnant were extremely low, but if she wanted to be totally, walk over to the drugstore and buy the pill for $40, or go to Planned Parenthood and get one for free.  But no, she wouldn’t do that, she was too embarrassed.

Here’s the thing about this girl: she’s 23 years old and a virgin.  That’s great, right!  We shouldn’t be promoting sluttiness from women.  However, I think Sheena uses her all-holy virginity as more of a trump card, than anything.  I think my fellow ROK writer Samseau summed it up best in one of his articles:

She portrays her virginity as valuable, when in fact it represents her inability to bond with a man.

She frames the conversation as something she is saving for “her husband,” that is, something she is using as a bartering chip for the best possible deal in the mating game. She makes it sound like no one has been willing to marry her.

While Samseau wrote those last sentences about an Olympic athlete, you can substitute Sheena in to those sentences and it fits her to a T.  She dangles her virginity like a carrot; making the men dance around her and dote on her in exchange for handjobs, which she’s probably damn good at by now.  She did grow up in a pretty Christian household, and has remained a virgin, but certainly not completely chaste, since we lived together in the dorms about four years ago.

So here we are, on New Year’s Eve, and she’s got her thong pushed to the side with a guy rubbing his dick around her pussy, but not getting inside.  Yet, the next morning she is unable to muster the courage to walk down the pharmacy and utter 7 words:

“Can I get a Plan B pill?”

She said she was literally too embarrassed to do so.  She sounded ashamed as to what she had done.  What’s worse though – the embarrassment of buying that pill or the embarrassment of telling everybody you got pregnant from playing “rub” the tip.

I told her that despite the low chance of pregnancy, she should just do it for peace of mind.  Otherwise, she has to spend the next month waiting for her period to come, and there’s the chance she’ll be so stressed she’ll end up missing it or something stupid.

If you’re going to fool around with boys, you have to have the maturity to handle the consequences like a grown woman.  And at 23 years old, you should be plenty mature enough to walk down to a pharmacy and buy a fucking pill without having to call multiple friends and tell them the sob story.  If you can’t manage that, then you have no business having sex.

I love you, but, grow up, girl.

Up Next: Honest Advice For My College Female Friends

  • January 3, 2014
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