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Reality TV Is Another Way To Keep You Plugged In

I don’t have cable TV in my apartment.

I’m home with my parents and sister on holiday this week, so actually getting to watch a little TV is a nice little treat for me.  However, the more I channel surf, the more and more disgusted I am by the amount of reality TV garbage polluting up the guide screen.  I think reality TV can be summed up quite easily: why the fuck do you want to watch other people accomplish, quite frankly, stupid shit?

Want to watch people sing, dance, and perform on American Idol, Dancing With The Stars, The Voice, etc?  Instead of watching them, pick up a guitar or microphone.

Want to see people race around the world on The Amazing Race?  Go get a part time job and travel the world yourself.

Want to see people live in the wilderness on Survivor?  Go camping.

Want to see stupid sluts get knocked up and freak out on 16 and Pregnant?  Go…be a slut yourself.  <– joke.

Want to see people get drunk and make stupid decisions on The Jersey Shore?  Go get drunk and make your own stupid decisions.

The point is, I can’t understand (anymore) why people invest so much time in these shows.  It’s obvious that most of America is still plugged in and watching these shows, because they’re still around years and years later, despite few original concepts and the fact that the host(s) are simply there to collect a paycheck.  And don’t even get me started on the other stupid shit; Hoarders, Cake Boss, anything on HGTV, and my favorite, COUPONS! (Couponers?  I don’t fucking know.)

A show about how people collect coupons and then go shopping.  I can’t even fathom the level of boredom I would have to be at to watch a show like that.  There are a million other things you could do that are more productive than watching people cut up coupons and buy stuff.

Better yet though, why the hell is there a market for this kind of garbage?  Because: The more time you spend with the TV on, the more you’re plugged in.

Once you get home from a shitty job, you want to relax.  Weekends are spent recovering from the entire week.  So you plug in to “reality” TV, which allows you to live in other people’s reality, no matter the level of absurdity they live in.  It’s a distraction from your own reality which is pathetic.  And it’s designed to be exactly that.  The more you watch, the less you realize the lows of your own life, and the more you report at 8am to the office like a good little boy.  But guess what, you lived in “reality” by watching your expensive 55″ Samsung LED for five hours last night.  You know what they say, YOLO.

The worst part of all is that this is what is expected.  The look of shock on people’s faces when they find out I don’t have cable TV is mind boggling.  Hell, half the time I can’t even partake in conversations because I have no idea what’s going on with Lost, Duck Dynasty, or whatever else is the hot show these days.

To those people, I say: keep your $3,000 television, your $100/month cable bill, and your absurd knowledge of all things TV.  I hope it brings you happiness.

I refuse to die with my ass on the couch and a remote in my hand.

reality

  • December 26, 2013
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