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My First Groupie Guest

Guess what, I’ve hit a new mark.  I have enough mail that I can start posting a weekly column with emails from readers and my responses.  This week’s comes from someone by the name of S.E.B.  I don’t know if they’re a dude or a chick, but I’d guess chick.  In any case, this email was actually very well thought out and thorough.  As always, my comments are in bold.  Thanks for reading the first Groupie Guest!

Hi Trouble Maker,
I’m the person who asked for an email. I’d like to give you some more comments. Or I guess this is part commentary, part critique on your writing. I picked out a few things. You’re doing a social experiment, essentially, which is pretty cool. I’ve done some and I enjoy reading about others’ experiments. I’ve only just discovered what the red pill is and this new alpha male ideology. I’m curious to learn more about it because I’ve had several friends begin this journey, though they haven’t told me explicitly it’s the red pill, I suspect it is, since they all go on Reddit. So to get to it:
I wouldn’t call my blog a social experiment.  It’s more a chronicle of my life and how I feel at the time of writing, no matter how fucked up it may be.  As for learning more about the Red Pill, I’d suggest visiting the links in my blogroll.  You’ll find everything you could ever need.
For guys, it’s probably 80% about looks.  I’ve tolerated a lot of bullshit because I had someone beautiful.  Dancers, bi-polar alcoholics…etc.  It’s amazing what I put up with in hindsight, and most guys are the same.  After this, what matters is your femininity and softness.  Most guys don’t give a shit that you make $45,000 at your boring ass HR job where you file paperwork and answer the phone.”- Intelligence doesn’t matter, seems to be what you’re saying here. So you want one of those Desperate Housewives who waste their time watching reality TV and who you were so eager to put down in another post? You never actually mention if intelligence is important to you in a person, but maybe it isn’t, since you never comment on how socially smart or academically smart the women you go on dates with or sleep with are. I would be interested to find out your views on intelligent women and what you consider intelligent women to be like. Write a post about it.
Please remember, that was my first ever post.  Just pointing that out.
Anywho, no, intelligence is extremely important for any sort of relationship – even if it’s just a few dates or something long-term.  For a one night fuck, I could care less if she’s dumb as a rock.  The point I tried to make is this: most men will not care if you are a broke-ass art teacher or a rich doctor who makes $250k/year.  Your femininity and sweetness comes before this.  As for intelligence, I prefer college-educated, but that’s just me; and it’s not a HUGE deal for me (certainly not a deal-BREAKER like it is for many women).
You must also remember men and women want different things.
“STOP drinking so much, STOP making out with guys like me in clubs within 5 seconds of meeting, STOP putting off exercise “until I’m fat,” and for the love of God,  STOP wearing sweatpants/hoodies/sunglasses/flip flops/Toms/stupid baggy T-shirts with stupid slogans everywhere (reminder: guys care about looks, and that look is not sexy).  DO learn to cook, be sweet, and keep yourself in shape, and you will have good, strong men who want to wife you up.”- My problem with this is you making a judgement call for all men and saying TOMS and hoodies are seen as ugly on women. Explain to me why these are bad life choices again. Unless you have studied fashion, women’s and men’s, why should I take your opinion seriously? Back it up please. Whether with your own, personal research or facts. Also, alcoholics deserve love too, just like women with eating disorders right? A disease is a disease, why discriminate? State your audience in the beginning. Clearly this is meant for women who are looking to get married. Not all women want that.
I’m actually planning on running a post on fashion soon, with pictures from my wardrobe.  My fashion sense is well above average, though I used to dress like a huge dork and wear New Balance sneakers everywhere.  People I’ve met in person through my blog could attest to this.
Go ask any man: would you prefer a woman be in a baggy hoodie and Toms, or in a skirt?  There’s your answer.
In response to alcoholism, keep in mind this post is in regards to women being more attractive if they want to land a good long-term husband.  Alcoholism is not a good quality to have for that, citing facts or not.
Stating who your audience is, maybe somewhere in the about section of your blog, might be something to consider. Like an age range and economic status. Yours is obvious. This is important for your writing, but also for the amount of flack you’re going to get, so it’s kind of like a warning label that allows you say “you knew what you were getting into when reading this.”
I LIKE this!  Excellent suggestion.  Something like:
If you fall into these categories, you will like my blog:
  1. Single male
  2. “Nice guys”
  3. Conservative
  4. Submissive female
  5. Above-average income

You will probably hate my blog if you fall in these categories:

  1. Feminist
  2. Married male and are pussywhipped (hint: most of you are)
  3. Liberal
  4. Alpha Female
  5. Poor

“Facebook is killing your dating life”

– I agree, I’ve written about Facebook before, but more in regards to it killing your social life. I actually really liked this one because you back up your points with a little storytelling. That is effective. The posts where you talk about a problem and then give alternate solutions, I like. Lists-type posts win every time.

Side note: A lot of your dating rules are rules that I have for myself. And I agree about your views on marriage, American culture, and social media usage. I wouldn’t mind seeing more posts about social media and the negative vs. positive effects it has when trying to “sound” Alpha.

You have to be careful about over-saturating with list posts.  But, I do agree.Your fitness posts I appreciate as well because it’s the hard truth mixed in with research and your own experience. Any time you can throw in facts, fucking do it. And I think you’re really encouraging.
Why thanks.  Hit the gym, fatty.
“Why girls put head phones in”- Liked. Never heard a man say he understood this, glad you put that out there. Also, you were observant enough and empathetic enough to try and figure it out.“Or how people who hate gays are shamed (unless you live in Alabama).  Perhaps this is all a subtle ploy by the masses to shut down the people who don’t want the real men to rise up.  Perhaps there is fear of another revolution.  More violence.  More hate.
While I don’t want any of this, I also don’t have any desire to grow a pair of tits anytime soon.”

– I have a huge problem with this “Being female is a negative thing.” It is not bad. It is not disgusting. There are two genders you can be, you do not get to choose, and you do not make fun of one just because you are the other. I think what a lot of men don’t get is that being told “you’re a woman you’re a woman you’re a woman,” constantly is a lot like being told “you’re stupid you’re stupid you’re stupid” or “you’re worthless you’re worthless you’re worthless.” When is being compared to a woman ever said with a positive tone? It’s basically verbal abuse, bullying. It’s tiring to hear over and over in such a negative way.

To clarify; being female = positive.  Female trying to be male = negative.  Make sense?  Yes, I talk down to these females because I got treated like shit by them my whole life, and I’ve seen countless of other poor guys have the same thing happen.  I’ve had enough.  If you are sweet and act female, we have no issue.And being racist and admitting that you’re being racist? Have some self control.
It’s one of those “fair warning” things 😉
Those are just some of my thoughts. Obviously, you don’t have to change anything, they’re your words. And I enjoy your blog. You’re smart and I get that you’re very perceptive. You understand people, you’re observant, and you have the power to adapt and change at will. You also seem charismatic and contain a curiosity for the world around you that allows you to constantly learn and engage. That’s fantastic and it’s pretty much one of the best superpowers to have as a person, especially early on in your life. But I ask of you, as someone with the same abilities, try and be more aware of how much influence you have over other people’s opinions. As cliche as it sounds, use it for good.
Thank you, and I can take this point to heart.  I may be blissfully naive of how impacting this blog can be, especially as it continues taking off.
Not everyone is like you. I’m sure you know this. I hope you do. There are men out there without your intelligence and social graces. What some of your posts are doing, whether you realize it or not, is helping to create this divide between men and women. Like we’re enemies. Men and women are people. People don’t need another reason to hate each other. We have enough stupid reasons, like religion or race. I ask that you carry on with your blog, which I do enjoy for your personal observations and life journey storytelling, only less double standards. Less negative comments about women and the choices they make as people. People can make whatever choices they want. Passing judgement and explaining to someone why they made the wrong choice or have the wrong opinion is wasting time.
Well aware.  I’m smarter than 99% of people out there and I don’t hesitate to speak up when I know I’m right.  I’d really like to point out there aren’t double standards between men and women – simply different standards.
Men don’t like sluts, whilst women don’t like men who aren’t charismatic and charming.  That’s just biology.
I hope this is constructive criticism for you and you don’t take it as hate mail. I didn’t cover everything, but I don’t really have time. If I had more time to skim, I’m sure I’d have more to say. I really don’t mean to  bash you. <removed>. I like that your blog creates a dialogue about people, which is what makes it so interesting.
Never even thought of it that way.  Thanks!
I’m curious if you’ve ever run into alpha females or encountered a female who used the alpha male strategy. Something to write about if you have. Look forward to reading more.
I have, I’ll be covering it next week.
  • November 22, 2013
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