The “Hollywood Kiss” Is Bullshit

You’re sitting in a car dropping her off after the first date.  Your heart is pounding and your palms are a little sweaty.  Perhaps there’s a glisten of sweat on your forehead.  You know you want to kiss her, and it takes all your willpower to muster up the courage to make that leap of faith, to cross the two foot gap between your lips and hers.  Finally, when you do cross that gap – you feel your cheeks flush, your heart skips a beat, and a warmth comes over your entire body as your lips lock with the pretty girl.

Nowadays, this is just another day at the office for me.

I no longer put any real value on a kiss, and I can’t remember the last time I was nervous about going for one.  The kiss is just one more step in the way to what I really want.  Gone are the days I got those stupid “butterflies” when kissing a girl, gone are the days I’d chicken out and not go for it, and gone are the days I had to use any gimmicky “kiss-close” lines.  Occasionally I still do drop the “how good of a kisser are you?”  However, most of the time I just grab their face and go for it in an extremely carefree and confident manner.

And I can’t remember the last time I got turned down for it.

This brings me to the point of this article – drop all the fantasy, Hollywood bullshit about what a kiss is supposed to be.  It’s not raining, there’s not dramatic music playing, there’s nothing that matters but looking like a cool cat whose been there, done that.  Don’t let a single fuck be given.  Hollywood would have you think that because she’s such a special snowflake, and she might be “the one” that you should wait until the exact perfect moment, you should ask her nicely (gag), and then you should use just the right amount of tongue to please her as a woman.

Screw all of that.  Grab her by the neck, pull her in, and take her breath away.  Then, keep escalating, because you should always be closing.


  • November 11, 2013
  • grace9303 says:

    Oh Trouble Maker, confidently grabbing her and taking her breath away is surprisingly old Hollywood. You’re such a romantic.

  • dannyfrom504 says:

    look her in the eyes. slip a finger inside the front of her jeans and slowly pull her towards you. DO.NOT break eye contact. pull her close, and kiss her. wrap one arm around the small of her back and gently lift her to her toes.

    she will melt. trust me.

  • window kiss says:

    I love that someone has posted this …i have been hanging out with this guy i really like and i know he likes me…well i was a bit confused by him at first because it took us forever to even kiss…

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