39

A Tale Of Rejections, Flakes, Frustrations, And Sadness

I am committed to speaking the truth there.  It’s right there in the header of the website.  I do not claim to be some sort of master pick up artist, never get rejected, or have some secret formula to getting dates and pussy (though my online message to number is pretty damn good…).  With that being said, by committing to tell the truth, that means I’m also going to speak about the bad times: rejections, flakes, frustrations, and sadness.  This is a tale of all of those.

On Friday night,  I plan to meet a new girl, Jenna, at 6:30 for a quick drink.  After, I’m tentatively scheduled to meet one of my regulars, H to get drunk at around 9pm.  I also book a date with Andrea for a TBD time on Friday night, if either Jenna or H falls through.  I figure two and a half hours is enough to put some face time in with Jenna for a second date bang next week.  H and I had planned to pregame at her place, walk to the bars, and then I’d spend the night there.  H never texts me back Friday to confirm.  H texts me Saturday morning saying she’s sorry, that she had typed out a response but forgot to hit send.  Whatever.

Then, Jenna cancels on me when I confirm the plans about four hours prior.  Says she’s not feeling good.  I half-ass try  to turn it around to no avail.  I text Andrea a confirmation rather than cancellation text, but don’t get a response within a few hours.

Now it’s Friday night when I was supposed to see two girls and I’m stuck with my hand.  So while working from home on Friday afternoon I go on an OKCupid blitz.  I grab a number from a cute 26 year old Sicilian chick, Alexandria, in just two messages.  She says she has to work until 7:30 but she can meet at 8:30.  Perfect.

Then at 7:50 I get a text from her, “I can’t make 8:30…just leaving work, how about another time?”  I’m ready to punch a wall at this point.  I tell her 9:30 is fine.  Bad move on my part, as I was willing to reschedule later on on a Friday night because I had nothing better to do (and really didn’t, at this point).  I get myself a little buzzed at home for shits and giggles and walk to the bar, meeting her at what is becoming my usual bar near my apartment.  As I’m ordering drinks, the bartender says to me, “Does she want the same thing as last time?”  Fortunately, she’s out of earshot, and I laugh and tell him this is actually the third different girl I’ve brought here this week.  He chuckles and makes the drinks (tipping him well and getting on his good side!), meanwhile this drunk ass Asian chick with a disgusting lesbian haircut is talking to my girl.  I go over with the drinks and make polite conversation with lesbian Asian, who eventually starts trying to start a fight with me.  She’s telling me she’s way more intelligent than me and that she can handle her shit.  When I put my arm on her to make it clear we don’t want to talk to her, she starts raising her voice.  Not wanting to be arrested for assault, I’m forced to just turn my back on her.  Fortunately, she gets the hint and leaves.

I have a decent time with Alexandria.  Conversation is good, not great.  Chemistry was honestly lacking a bit.  I try to get her back to my place after one drink but she won’t come up.  I kiss close her in the car and say good night.  I texted my usual follow-up the following morning and got nothing in response.  Dead lead, as I suspected, despite the kiss close.

Andrea texts me at midnight saying she just got off work.  She asks if we can do Saturday night and I say sure.

So that was FRIDAY.  Now, Saturday…

I get woken up by my upstairs neighboring vacuuming at 8:00am.  On a Saturday.  I’m fucking pissed.  I hit the gym and play some ball, write some blog posts, and head out to do some daygame at about 3:00pm.  It’s then I find out my plans with buddies that had been in place for days are falling through due to work and other obligations.  Having suspected this was going to happen (after not hearing back from the guys Friday), I made plans with Andrea the night before, as I mentioned.  I attempt to confirm the plans with Andrea at noon but get no response for several hours.

Here we go again, I think…so I hit up Erin, who I also number closed on OKC during my Friday afternoon blitz.  She is willing to meet but has to be somewhere by 7:00pm.  Meaning I’d have to go do a date at…5:00.  No thanks.  I tell her we’ll meet next week.  I text H back after her apology from Friday and she’s busy tonight.

I’m just fed up at this point, so my daygame session was pretty much worthless.  I go grocery shopping and head home; planning to make dinner and then determine if I want to roll solo for the night.  Once I’m home, I have this exchange on OKC with a cute, slim and blonde 27 year old flight attendant…Jennifer.

HER: I just git back in town today so im not sure I am getting up off the couch. You are welcome to join as long as you dont expect me to dress up.

ME: Are you inviting me over?

HER: Yes im inviting you over but not in a hook up way. Bring beer and we will play never have I ever or something…

As any player knows, “We’re not having sex/hooking up” = you’re gonna fuck.  I tell her I’ll be there at seven.

OF COURSE, NOW (!!!!!) Andrea texts me back saying she just got off work and asks what my plans for the night are.  I tell her I’m heading out with friends for dinner but that I could meet around ten.  I figure this is enough time to close Jennifer if it’s going to happen, especially since I’m going straight there.

I grab a six pack of craft beer from Whole Foods and drive the five miles to Jennifer‘s house.  Meet her cute dog, sit on the couch.  Play “never have I ever” and drink some beer.  She’s chatty but keeps bringing up other guys to which I keep shooting her down, telling her we’re not going to discuss this.  I figure out why she keeps asking me about other guys, when…she asks me if I’m gay.

Here’s the thing, I’ve had a one girl in the past ask me the same thing.  I’m not sure what it is — I suspect it may be because I dress pretty nicely, and tend to use my hands when I speak.  My voice is also not terribly deep, and I am an animated talker.  Perhaps something I need to adjust, though I’m hesitant to based off of just two girls out of hundreds.  Regardless, this cunt keeps going on and on about how she’d love a gay BFF and keeps asking me over and over if I’m gay.  I keep agreeing and amplifying with her, but she won’t drop it.  I try just flat out telling her I’m not gay, and that I’ve never even been intrigued by it.  She also keeps saying that she doesn’t kiss on the first date, and this holds true, as she’s cuddled up on me, holding my hand, but won’t let me kiss her.

At first the gay shit testing wasn’t bad, but it kept getting worse and worse with every beer she drank.  I ask her, “Do you REALLY think I’m gay?”  And she says, “Yes, are you SURE you’re not?  You’re sure you’re not a little intrigued by guys?”

I get up and leave.  She gets all defensive then and asks me if I’m pissed.  I tell her I’m tired of listening to her yap about this and get my coat and leave.  She tries to give me a hug which I brush off.  As I walk to my car, I text Andrea, “i’m free. drinks.”

I still haven’t gotten a response.

bang head

This is the perfect way to sum up how I feel as I write this.

Part of me wants to dissect all of this and see where I went wrong, but just between Monday and Thursday of this week I had three different girls in my bed, such as this one.  I don’t need to do anything drastic.  I’m going to just chalk this up to a bad weekend.  It’s times like these I’m glad I wrote about the good weeks to keep my head up.

  • Hahaha, what a nightmare. It’ll be funny in a few weeks. Write it off and carry on. I’m going to have to get on this online dating nonsense after my trip, it seems to give a solid number of leads (even if this time they all came to nothing). The feeling you just described sums up most of the last year for me after killing it the year before (all the hook up stories I’ve written so far are from the last two months of that year). Seems to be the way of the world that you get peaks and troughs no matter how much of a roll you think you’re on.

    • I’m already laughing about it, so I’m not too worried. I’ve written about female emotional roller coasters before, but the life of a player is just as bad. You must take the good with the bad.

      These weren’t all online leads, but online really is a solid number of leads once you get some routines and practice down. I got 5 numbers from two hours of just blitzing and this was just on a Friday afternoon WHILE I was working. I just can’t beat the convenience.

      Admittedly, I’m also running a little social experiment which I’ll post more about later. I’ve got a second profile and I put my age as 27. These 26-29 year olds are handing their numbers out like candy, so I’m thinking it’ll be an easy close, but it’s turning out not to be.

      I probably need to adjust my game a little bit and perhaps go with a two-date model before pushing for a bang.

  • I don’t think it helps to ponder about where you “went” wrong.. I think it’s more a mindset shift. You’ll get it when you stop trying to get it… if you know what I mean.. so live your life, plan your weekend with friends.. the girls will come. That’s just my two cents.. but then what do I know, I’m just a girl 🙂

    • “Girls will come” sure, if I want to bang one new girl a year and get married and have her become a fat whale, yes, I can sit back and let them come. If I want to actively be dating multiple girls, getting hookups, and picking the cream of the crop, then I have to be out there in the trenches and putting in the work.

      Therefore, you’re correct, you really don’t know 😉 it’s not as easy as it for girls, all you have to do is show up and look pretty to have a multitude of options.

      I took a look at your blog…queen of the fries? If you’re fat, all of your opinions are even less worthy here.

      • Hey chill out Style.. I can tell you got game from your previous posts.. This post seemed ..out of character.. hinted more desperation (which I’m sure it was).. and so..you already know that girls can smell desperation.. and so you already know the point I was trying to make in my last comment. Anyway we’re just a community of bloggers here trying to share our views, no need to hate (especially on fries?!?!) haha..

      • I’m not hating on fries, as long as you’re skinny 😉

        You are right though, frustration and libido set in on me last night, I’ll give you that.

  • p.s your last tweet made me laugh out loud… OK point taken.. gonna go have more fries and leave your blog alone 😉

    • Oops, I forgot I had that widget on there. I’m definitely not discouraging you from commenting, but just know that I tend to roll my eyes at girls giving me advice.

      I think you and Grace would be good friends, for some reason…

      • Haha I get what you’re saying.. I’m so used to giving advice to my little sis that I forget it’s different with guys. My younger bro tells me off every time I try to give him advice.. his usual line goes something like “don’t give me that nice guy bullshit again.. that’s not what girls want”.. so now i’m banned from giving him advice.. 🙂 oh maybe that explains my ranting on YOUR site instead.. hahaha .. Um, not sure who Grace is..?

      • How old are you and how old is your brother?

        Yes, you ladies mean well but the advice you give is terrible. Girls don’t want what has become the “American” nice guy…every girl needs a strong man.

        Grace is one of my female commenters who I always piss off. I Tweeted her to come take a look at this.

      • grace9303 says:

        I’m digging the Queen of Fries! I feel like I may be the pizza counterpart. And you were TOTALLY desperate here! Cool your jets, boy. Also, don’t find all your women on OK Cupid. Do you really think that’s where all the good ones that would even come close to your ridiculous standards would be?

        P.S. Wanna sign up to be a dating coach for the Queens? I’m still in the market for one.

      • You enjoy pissing people off don’t you? 🙂 My brother is 23 and I’m 26. Although it feels like the other way around since he’s usually the one giving me advice (he recommended me to read The Game, and I don’t know if that broke some kind of bro code but it opened my eyes so I owe him for that)

      • Oops. Replied to the wrong comment. See below.

      • You’re right, I like Grace already 🙂

        The Game was good for me because it helped me realize what men were doing (things I never picked up on before). It also surprisingly made me feel more confident and not anymore intimidated by men that would normally intimidate me. Of course, I’m not trying to get more women so I didn’t research further into this subject.

        I agree with you though – at the end of the day it all comes down to self improvement.

        I won’t comment about my brother’s game because to me he will always be the sweet & caring boy I grew up with 🙂

    • @grace: I got laid plenty this week, so I don’t think it was desperation more than just frustration from dealing with all the flakey shit. I had plans to be out Friday and Saturday and they both fell through, though maybe I was “desperate” to just get out. And they weren’t all OKC girls. Just the last minute ones were.

      @queen: Yes, I love it. Is your brother good with girls? Honestly, The Game is a good read but it’s way beyond the times, and rubbish overall. PUA concepts in general are good, but there’s only so much lines, negs, and peacocking do for you if you don’t have your inner game worked out.

      I focus on self improvement and the rest comes easier and more naturally, IMO.

  • shivs27 says:

    I thought the American I’ve been dating could be gay.. was definitely the overuse of hands and being so animated! Then I thought maybe it was just an American thing haha

  • […] Read More: A Tale Of Rejections, Flakes, Frustrations, And Sadness […]

  • […] Read More: A Tale Of Rejections, Flakes, Frustrations, And Sadness […]

  • mikehawke03 says:

    you text too many words. you slacking

  • […] a young guy who did his fair share of OKCupid and online dating, I’m well aware of the struggles and frustrations of the endeavor.  The typical steps of progressing through online dating seem to go like this, for […]

  • […] because I was there myself. So, no matter your experience level – whether you’re in a dry spell, or a virgin – here’s how to bang more girls in […]

  • >