Grouper: Field Report, and why you should roll solo.
To read the actual Grouper review, click here. This is more of a recap of what transpired for the whole night. To set the record, I didn’t know one of the guys with me, and hardly knew the other. I had actually responded to a “Need a wingman,” ad specifically for this Grouper. I figured I’d try my luck, and if I enjoyed myself, I’d round up my own friends the next time in order to make it happen. So let’s call the guys C and J. I had gone out for beers with C prior and determined he was a cool guy. C drives to my place and we carpool out from there, meeting J at the bar in downtown.
As mentioned, the girls were not very cute. I wouldn’t rate them higher than 5’s. However, to be honest, neither C nor J are that attractive, objectively speaking. We’re in a high-end classic jazz/blues bar and both are rocking t-shirts and jeans, which isn’t helping either. I’m rolling in a sweater vest, dress shoes, and jeans. Not to sound like a racist bigot, but they’re hardcore Indians, and most girls in the environment we were in were not going to find that attractive. Plus, there’s more on this later. So I’m a little surprised when I get a text a half hour into the date from C, “Down to bail and upgrade on quality.” We wrap the Grouper up within half an hour. As we’re walking through downtown trying to find another bar, there’s this huge event from one of the major companies down here. These other two guys spend nearly 10 minutes trying to talk their way into it, and fail miserably. I’m a little annoyed at this point, as I feel like I just wasted my time with the girls from the Grouper and just want to get to a place where we can talk to some cute girls. We’re not going to find them in a corporate event, obviously. We eventually end up at a bar with 3 levels – upstairs pool table, main bar level, and downstairs dance floor.
I grab a drink and ditch them. Roll downstairs and find a group of 4 girls and 2 guys. Open the cutest girl, find out they’re from Australia. She seems like a super-nice, mellow girl. We chat and dance a bit, and then I find C and J again. Both are drinking much more than I am. They offer to buy me my second drink. After this, C spots two little Latina girls dancing by themselves. He goes in but is struggling, so I open the second one to help him out. She’s cuter up close; good. I find out it’s her birthday. Within 3 minutes I’m giving her a birthday kiss. It’s short lived. We’re not really into each other, so I tell her not to get into much trouble tonight and wish her happy birthday.
I zip back to the main level without the other two guys. The host/promoter is walking around with a mic, she’s a cute redhead. Great body, freckles, and glasses. I’m into it. We’re outside bullshitting about life and whatnot, I’m running my usual lines, game, etc. We go back inside and she gets me a shot on the house, I dig it. I say the following, “I know you think this is liquid courage talking, but I think you’re cute and we’re going to get a drink sometime.” She says something about being really busy with school and work, and how she can’t give out her number at work. I smirk and say, “Note, I didn’t ask you, I said we’re GOING for a drink.” She laughs but won’t budge. I say goodbye for now.
Five minutes later I open a set of two blondes sitting at the bar by themselves by asking them if I look gay. Turns out one is from the Czech Republic and one is from Slovakia. They just spent the summer working in New York City and are doing a West Coast tour prior to going home. Lovely girls, I am going to write a post about them specifically soon. About a half hour into my conversation with them, C shows up to wing me. Better late than never, right? Well, he’s wasted at this point and leaves within 10 minutes. I had clearly chosen the Slovakian girl at this point and the Czech girl was more than open to talking to him. He’s too drunk. Instead, she gets stuck with this 50 year old frat boy who looks like he’s been rolling around in clay due to his ridiculous spray tan. I realize I’m not getting any from the Slovak tonight – she’s hesitant to kiss me in front of her friend. I also realize I am going to be playing babysitter for C and J. I just enjoy her company as we discuss Americans, life, and travel. She tells me I can stay with her if I ever visit Slovakia. I get her Whatsapp and email address, and a good night kiss.
Here’s where the night goes downhill. I finally get C and J out and we start walking to my car, which is roughly 7 blocks away. J also has his car here, whilst C’s car is parked at my place. They start complaining about how their feet hurt cause of the dress shoes they’re wearing (with their t-shirts…). We hop into a pedicab, who wants $30 when he drops us off at the car. These Indians, being their usual cheapasses (this is a TRUE stereotype) are causing a scene refusing to pay him. They start lecturing him on economics, and how they could run a better business. They want to run his pedicab service. At this point, it’s nearly 3am, and I’m sober. I’m ready to be done with both of these retards who failed as wingmen, got sloppy, and now I have to make sure they get home safe. I offer the pedicab $20 to just settle it and they start ripping into me. I give him $20 and tell them they can leave or take a cab back since they can’t drive. They say fine. I drive off and am nearly on the freeway when they call, all bewildered, “We thought you were driving us!” I wouldn’t give a shit if these guys drove into a pole while drunk, but my mind flashes back to a friend who died in high school from not wearing a seatbelt. I don’t want some innocent person on the road to be a victim to them.
I go back, drive J’s car to his hotel where he is staying the following night. I drive them both back to my place where C’s car is. At this point he was sobered up, I told him to wait a few more minutes before driving home. I went in, and went to sleep, glad to be done with the night.
I’m looking for a wingman…or maybe I should just roll solo.