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Understanding and analyzing versus instilling beliefs.

This is a bit of a follow-up to my post here.

I’ve been on fire lately.  As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve turned my life around; but now I am starting to see some serious results.  Having majored in Economics, and now working as an engineer for a massive data systems company, I tend to look at things from an analytical perspective.  Analyzing, dissecting, and improving is how my mind works.  There is a part of me that wants to tear my interactions with girls down to a core level, to understand it.  Then, take that analysis and improve upon it.  Figure out EXACTLY what does, or doesn’t work.  Develop sharper game, wittier comebacks, deeper connections.  To take this to the next level.

And part of me says fuck that.

Why mess with what’s working?  Why take that time to dissect it?  Why take some of the fun out of it?  Part of me wants to just continue living and riding the wave for as long as I can.  I have such a confidence in me going into dates now that I truly believe it doesn’t matter what kind of bullshit spews out of my mouth; I fully expect the girl to dig me, and I fully expect to get it in on the first date if I play my cards right.  Make sense?  I have such an instilled belief in myself that I want to just keep building off of that.

However, I feel like I might need to do some dissection of my interactions to make the next “jump”.  What’s this next level?  I’m not quite sure, to be honest.  For the last few months, I’ve been keeping 3-5 girls in a small harem.  Some come and go, but it’s consistently been about 3-5, with some new dates sprinkled in here and there.  I see them all once a week, have a few nights to myself and friends, and it’s generally pretty great (ESPECIALLY with my own place).  However, I am finding that I still need to initiate much of the contact.  While I don’t really have to put up with much flakiness, and get all my texts responded to, I’m finding that they’re not texting ME to set up plans.  They’re not asking me out, offering to pay for things as much as I’d like, etc.  I’m still having to be the main initiator.  Ideally, they would be texting me more, and then I would be happy to actual plan outings and whatnot.  I want the girls I’m seeing to put in as much effort as I am, more so than just showing up and getting banged.  The girl in this post and this post did a good job of it.

As of now, I’ve been skating by with instilling the beliefs that I’m awesome.  However, maybe I need to accept the fact that I could always be improving.  As I’ve said before, comfort is mediocrity in disguise.

  • September 1, 2013
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