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Clouded Judgment

The scene–a small village in rural America. The year–1850.

There is a 15 year old girl with two children by her side. They are hers. She is five months pregnant with a third. She got pregnant at 14. At 15 again. Now, just two months shy of her 16th birthday there stirs another inside of her.

There is a 20 year old man, the father of those two. He works long hours at a physically demanding job to provide for his young wife and small children. He is often physically exhausted, but happy to provide. He looks at his wife and kids–the juice is worth the squeeze.

The scene–a nightclub in America. The year-2016.

There is a 35 year old woman with approximately three pounds of makeup plastered on to her face. She’s dancing to Beyonce’s hit, Single Ladies, along with her other friends aged 34 and 37 years old. None of them have children. None of them have any regrets. They have enjoyed their life of parties–full of men throwing money and drinks at them in an attempt to win them over.

Across the club is a 37 year old man. He’s out of shape and fat, because he works long hours sitting behind a desk. He’s sipping a rum and Coke, out of a straw–of course. He looks at the layers of foundational makeup painted on the 35 year old’s faltering skin and think…well, how much worse can it get?

Eventually, that 35 year old will decide that it’s time to settle.

The difference is that she will never have the same spark. The lust. The divineness. You can argue to hell and back whether it’s notch count that destroys pair bonding ability or not, but I have a different, and difficult, theory.

Simply put, as you age you don’t feel teenage love.

See how simple that was?

Think back to your first crush, or first relationship. It’s literally crushing–akin to having a gigantic fucking boulder on top of your head that prevents you from thinking about anyone but that person. As the years go on, the ability to have this kind of infatuation simply lessons. And it’s even more accelerated by taking dozens and dozens of cocks in various holes throughout the years.

And men, don’t think you’re off the hook either. Sticking your dick in tons of holes will reduce your ability to have that teenage-like infatuation. And that’s a good thing, because it’s up to the men to think logically in a relationship. To not do something stupid like move in together after a month, or have babies after a year.

But you’ll never have that teenage crush again.

Part of me is saddened by that, part of me relieved. I’m sad because I know how high that high was. I’m relieved because I know I can never truly be as stupid as I was when I first entered the dating scene.

The question is how you can balance this in terms of a long term partnership.

For women, the choice seems simple.

Women often base their decisions on emotions. Marriage is a “feel-good” institution. Most women prefer not to think of marriage as a sort of transaction, despite it’s transactional nature. Men, on the other hand, seem to have an understanding of the transactional nature of relationships. Perhaps they don’t voice them in the public sphere, but most of us deep down realize that you pay for it in one way or another.

So since women are going to make the emotional choice anyway, she might as well do it while she’s young and can feel the strongest crush.

Since it’s up to the man to be logical, it makes sense for him to prolong these kind of choices slightly longer. But it’s a fine line between waiting too long and waiting too little.

The lesson is this: get them while they’re young.

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  • Feel the need to provoke a little here: What if the “teenage crush” is a socially manufactured thing from somewhere in Hollywood? Or maybe the revival of a childhood wound, misinterpreted as “love”? Or a combination of both of the two – the latter supported by the former?

    Call it a cliche, but I don’t think a truly confident young boy falls in love this extremely.

    Someone on the internet wrote: “Infatuation is to fall in love with oneself under the adoring gaze of another”

    • Omar

      These kinds of love stories have been around for a long time before Hollywood, for example Romeo and Juliet. I see it as the Hollywood “teenage crush” being manufactured from real life stories.

      Talk about “revival of a childhood wound, misinterpreted as love” is just too speculative in my opinion. It just sounds too much like pop psychology nonsense.

      • I consider Romeo and Juliet to be somewhat pathological.

        How is it too speculative? I mean, fine, look at a real life example. Mystery. The guy was suicidal when he was left by a girl he hardly seemed to care that much about in the first place.

        I find it hard to find any source (pop psychology or manosphere) that disagrees that the most common personality disorders like narcissism are the result of experiences as an infant, for instance not being loved or nurtured enough or having been denied boundaries etc etc. When the infant is unable to properly bond with the mother, he/she seeks to ‘fix’ the disaster later by pedestalizing some women, creating relationships full of drama etc.

        I’d say my theory is pretty solid.

      • I think it’s a good theory, but it’s not black and white (nothing is).

        As in…people who have perfectly healthy parental relations still have relationship issues.

        I’m an example.

      • Define healthy, heh. I used to think I was healthy and normal…

      • I’ll define healthy as having a good relationship with the occasional bumps.

      • Define ‘good’. As I said, I would readily have said everything was fine.

      • Ya gotta give me more to work with dude!

        My relationship with my parents, which I’m defining as good, was that we had our moments we hated our guts but 90% of the time we got along great. As I got older and matured it got better.

        Never even close to a falling out.

        Most would say that’s good.

      • Oh, I just realize I did not mean to insinuate anything about your relationship with your parents. That would be presumptuous. I just mean it in a general sense (may or may not apply in your case). No falling out does not have to mean much either. My point is, things can look fine on the surface without being ideal. For example, harmony could either mean that there is no conflict or it could mean that people repress their anger to avoid conflict.

      • Oh no I didn’t think you meant anything by it…but I’m still missing the point (I think).

        You’re saying that most infatuation comes from “parental issues”?

      • Well, maybe I am making assumptions about other people’s infatuations based on my own. I could be wrong.

      • I think you’re projecting a bit 😉

      • I suppose I am. 🙂

      • I don’t think childhood wounds have to do anything with it.

        Sure, Mommy and Daddy issues are always going to play a role in a relationship, but youthful people always are just going to simply love harder. Part of it is not being jaded.

        But love has always been told in fairytales, you’re right about that.

    • Okay, so even say it’s provoked–think back.

      Was your first crush your strongest INFATUATION with a girl, or not? Most likely, the ones after were not as strong in nature.

      It’s akin to a girl falling in love with the guy who takes her virginity. First love is simply the strongest. Part of it is naiveness to the world, but part of it is also just an innocence of it at that point.

      • Truth be told, no. My first was not my strongest, but quite strong. Around the age of 15. But I later, around the age of 18 or 19 met a girl that put the first one in the shadows.

      • Now was that infatuation; i.e. Uncontrollable love, or did you just click better?

      • Infatuation, 100%. I was smitten.

      • The 15 or 19?

      • 19! Well, both. But the 19 was infinitely more severe. Then again, neither became anything more than a fantasy of mine, so that may have to do with it.

      • I think it all depends when you break free, or become too jaded.

        The 35 year old virgin just hates women.

        The 19 year old still thinks love is possible.

      • Heh. I’m right in between and I pretty much just hate them mostly, yeah.

      • Why is that? That’s horrible.

      • It’s not horrible, man. It’s just what it is. I have hated them throughout my life though, without being aware of it. Now that I am aware of it, I think it will fade after a while.

      • Dude, you hate half the population of the world. That does suck (horrible maybe wasn’t the best word to use).

        You gotta get past that and see them for who they are. They can be enjoyed. Tremendously.

      • I’m not gonna argue with that. But – if it wasn’t obvious – this is not a rational thing. As I said, I am working on it, so no biggie.

      • Oh yeah, I figured that out. I wasn’t trying to be condescending, hopefully it didn’t come across that way.

      • Nah, did not strike me as condescending, I could sense that you mean well. I do sometimes get pissed when people don’t understand, but then, it’s not their responsibility.

      • Good attitude. I’m sure the path will be tough but you’ll get there.

  • I think the teenage crush, for men more than women, has a lot to do with the mans balls kicking in and wanting to spew his muck over as much pussy, and tits, as is humanly possible. The ladies at this stage of their lives in the majority, there’s always sluts, have much more to loose although these days teenage pregnancy is less stigmatised. Also now they have their high powered careers to look forward to for the next 40 years sitting in a cubicle.

    • I don’t disagree with that. Biology almost always wins.

      But if he wanted to spill the seed everywhere…he wouldn’t fall in love. He’d be with many women instead of being infatuated with one.


      • Agree about the “falling in love” part but having been there as an idealistic young whipper snapper I think contemporary literature, movies, media has a lot to answer in creating the idea of eternal love and portraying most men as although heroic in the end betas.
        For me it was Princess Leia in 1978. I wanted to “save” her. Little did I know Han Solo was less than honourable with his intentions…. ha ha….

      • Ahh yes, the chance to be a hero.

        You’re right, Disney has influenced men just as much as women…men love ideally, women love opportunistically (h/t Rollo. I think).

  • Ronin

    That First Love/Infatuation feeling comes again for a lot of Mid life Crisis (Married) women in their 40’s… They blow it all up for some old flame from Highschool on Facebook and dress like their daughters. A lot of them are Alpha Widows, still pining secretly for Chad Thundercock or the Billy BassPlayer she hooked up with at Spring Break 15 years ago… Being one of the older guys, post 50 I see it all the time…

    • Wow, really?

      I guess now that you mention it I could see it. Obviously I haven’t reached a point in my life where I see this yet…

      So they fuck the alpha in high school. Marry+pop out baby+divorce beta=reignite the flame for old school alpha.

      Makes sense.

  • ten zły

    First of all, this 20 years boy would be rather 30 years old man. Back in days you were considered adult man if you were around 30. Much younger for women, basically as soon as she could have children.

    Second no father or brother would allow young girl to marry a boy, unless it was some special case either boy was from rich/noble family or they couldn’t feed the girl and needed her out. She had nothing to say in that matter and that is good thing, because we all now how stupid young girls are.

    Entire marriage process was pure logic, contract between father and soon to be husband. There was no place for emotion, love or other bullshit. Patriarchy was a good thing.

    And now? Women have right to choose whom they will marry or rather fuck, because marriage is dead. This freedom works a great wonders for them and us.

    People this that freedom is good. Basic right of humans and so on, and I say it is all bullshit. There more freedom we have the more fucked up world is. There should be some degree of freedom, but not in all areas of life (like free market, but fuck democracy) and only based on merit.

    • I guess that is a fair point…but I’m pretty sure they still married them off to “young” guys–did they not?

      I mean, it’s not like men were totally celibate and alone until 30. What the hell were they suppose to do for those ten years?

      Yeah, it was definitely all transactional back then. I trade you cow for your daughter! Rawr! Caveman.

      • ten zły

        Sometimes maybe, that depends greatly on area and period in history. Take biblical Joseph for example, he married marry at age of 33. Marry had 14 years. You see the difference? This was considered normal. Not pedophilia or anything like that.

        Well, common men didn’t have a lot of sex or sex-partners. Not much has change since then 😉
        Upper value men (mostly nobles or rich traders) is different story. They had a lot of action outside marriage. And ofc prostitution is as old as Babylon if not older.

      • Ahh yes you are correct! Though I have heard it both way. I kinda prefer it that way…paying them to take her away 😉

        I think the most stable family and civilization is probably where men don’t have anywhere near the sex partners that we have in modern day society.

      • ten zły

        brides bribe… yes, that sometimes was the case too, but from what I understand most of the times it was other way around.

        Dowry is important, not because of the money or anything like that, but because it shows that men are important. It is concept from times of our great grandfathers when men where held in high regard. They did value themselves. Concept from times of patriarchy, logic and civilization. Not matriarchy like today, time of pleasures, emotions and death of civilization.

        More sex partners doesn’t bring us more joy, it only bring us more pleasure and that is not the same.

      • Agreed. It can lead to instability. But more hedonistic pleasures.

        But in today’s world…hard.

      • Veni Vidi Vici

        Somewhat yes but life was also far more difficult this allowed for strong bonds to be formed between family and community.

      • It was a survival tool, yes.

    • Veni Vidi Vici

      Somewhat disagree, Freedom is not the problem as much of the Problem as big daddy government using the welfare state and divorce industry to subsidize women’s poor choices. They is simple less incentive for both men and women to marry.

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