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“You’re the Type of Guy Girls Marry” (What to Do About It)

Back from my beta schlub days, this one quote still stands out to me and stands the test of time. My mother (whom I love dearly) said this to me after I was down about being rejected by some girl.

“Try not to worry about it too much…I know girls like jerks sometimes, but YOU’RE the type of guy they end up marrying.”

I remember being a bit confused at the time. But I want to have sex NOW, Mom. I just want to lose my virginity!

While I couldn’t have actually explained it at the time, I certainly felt I was getting the raw end of the stick. I had realized that girls were slutty. Just not with me. It seemed like having my face smeared in shit.

I “get” the girls after every Roy, Jimmy, and Tim have used as cum buckets in college? How does that seem like a good deal, Mom?

Of course, Mom meant no harm by it. I would never hold that against her. But her quote still resonates with me, because my entire attitude with girls shifted. From wanting to be the guy they would want to marry to being one of the guys who “got her” before she wanted to get married.

Eventually, I smarted up and realized that I had to make some major changes in order to make that happen.


If you want to make changes to your life, the first step is realizing you have a problem.

“Admitting is the first step.”


So until you realize that it is in fact a problem to be the man picking up the pieces of a sodden and used vagina, you won’t be able to make that shift from being the fallback option versus the sexy, right-now option.

To make this realization, every man has to go at his own pace.

Some will have the “Aha!” moment, while others will suffer for several more months (or years, even) to reach a level of understanding.


The sad reality is that many men who have the aforementioned mindset also have this belief that girls are simply going to choose them. That one day, an angel will choose him to be her husband and that’s it. He can retire from the Game (not that he had any to begin with).

Nope, never gonna happen.

Even if you don’t desire to be a true playboy, you’ve still got to make the first moves with girls. This means that you need to actually go talk to some girls, go on some dates, and grow some balls to make a move. I’m not saying you have to nail a girl in the club bathroom or at the zoo (yeah, been there done that), but you’ve got to be willing to move an escalation forward.

Online dating can be a good jump-start to at least get some girls out on dates.


Eventually, you can become one of those Roys, Jimmys, or Tims that I mentioned above.

You can have your choice of women, and not be the “savior”. You know, the fairytale prince who comes in and marries a girl because she’s finally decided she wants the nice guy.

No guy truly wants to be that. Any guy who wants to avoid that needs options.

And here’s how you get options.

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  • I used to get that, too. Made me want to have a shower.
    If women think you would be a good husband they will not root you on the first date. A less promising man will get what he wants sooner, just as long as he’s cool.
    A related question emerges once a man figures all this out: what’s he supposed to do if he actually wants to marry?

    • Hoyos

      Seeing as I’m unmarried, I may not be the right guy to answer this, but judging by my friends who are…

      There’s a false dichotomy at work that says because many women marry a beta for the bucks and condemn the poor slob to sexlessness and divorce, that ALL marriages are like that. Women marry true “Alphas” all the time, you just don’t hear about it because divorce annihilated Betas have a reason to talk about it and happily married Alphas don’t as much.

      Have your mind on right and screen like you’re looking for a Soviet mole. Ironically, being uber picky doesn’t make you less attractive as a marriage partner.

      • People only share their extreme opinions. You’re dead on.

        So the unhappy marriages are talked about much more.

    • There is absolutely no winning.

      The obvious answer (to me) is to go to a culture where they value you as a good husband–where it’s expected that no matter what, there’s not going to be many (if any) one night stands, or first date bangs.

      So…there are a few countries left.

  • Hoyos

    Ironically, and don’t tell anyone, my mom was always the one that wanted me to hold out for the “best deal” romantically as it were. She had married her alpha and intuitively understood that unless I was in a similar position I would never really get a girls true “best”.

    I always objected to the idea of being some girls “you’ll do”.

    • That’s good, too many boys are not raised with that these days.

      The sad (and scary) part of that is that it’s really just STANDARDS. And for some reason, men these days are told to just eliminate any and all standards in the dating world.


      • Hoyos

        Well I can only speak to my own milieu, but a big part of it is chivalry poisoning. There is an instinct in man to be protective towards the weaker sex, if that instinct hypertrophies and combines with a misplaced sense of avoiding “selfishness”, you get some crazy ways of thinking.

        Its also part of the whole “men suck” phenomenon. Men in general are getting a raw deal and the only way to make that palatable is if you give them the sense they deserve it.

        In another realm with similar dynamics, you get less resistance if the bullied kid thinks that being a tattletale is the worst thing. He usually doesn’t question that the main promulgator of that idea is the bully himself.

      • Exactly. The bully is a 1on1 deal. Most men I talk to feel it’s society against them.

        It takes a strong man to fight that.

  • ten zły

    Well, I know that you mean good by this article, but it just shows how much fucked up society is today.
    How shitty relationship between women and men are. Good, respectful and caring man needs to transform himself into player. And player is no good by standard of normal and healthy society. But we are not in normal and healthy society…

    We should be improving to become better mens, fathers and pillars of society, not to fuck girls. Just thing it in term how much energy, money and other resources player wastes because sexual market places force him to it if he wants to have girl. And irony of that is that there many that does not want this lifestyle. Nor it is happy lifestyle, but you know that, it obvious from way you describe your relation with your girl from Kiev.
    Healthy humans want connection, intimacy and love… only completely broken ones go for sex and only sex.

    Fuck it, I wanna see this world burn. At least that wish will be granted soon from the looks of things.

    • I tend to agree with you and also recognize that some men CAN click with girls, connect and keep it casual. I know some TRUE players. The thing is, these days players are created out of necessity, not by a love of the game itself.

      Good examples of this are my boys McQueen and Goldmund. They both seem to relish it. They love women for what they are.

      To contrast, I myself am much more of a product born of necessity than simply loving having multiple women. Roosh is another example, too.

      Truthfully as you said the way things are, we can have a lot of broken men and women. Not healthy overall.

      • ten zły

        It is just sad. Very fucking sad. And it is not only about being with girls, but family too. I watched my grandparents die and they were probably last generation to die happy with children, grandchildren and so on. They had very hard life, but they were happy. That kind of happiness that comes from having healthy and loving family. Most of us won’t have that. It is sad, sad thing.

        Well, natural players are other thing completely. There will be always few men that don want to commit and few girls that are not worth committing to. They will find each other.

        Although I don’t think they are non right path, I do not thing them evil. Well, most of those who do, just gate players, because they are either loosers or white knights. Not that there is much of difference. When you hate someone very much you are already looser, because it is about mental state of your mind not some objective standard like numer of $ on your account of n-count.

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