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8 Tips on How to Screen a Girl for a Relationship

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Well, more of a hunch–but keep reading, and see if you agree with me.

HUNCH: Most men do not start to learn Game so that they can bang hundreds of girls.

HUNCH: Most men start to learn Game because they want a girlfriend.

HUNCH: Sometimes, men get really good at Game and then end up banging lots of girls (that’s more or less my story, heh).

FINAL HUNCH: Often times, that desire for a girlfriend resurfaces, or just never went away.

The fact of the matter is, there’s nothing wrong with relationships. Many players are very “anti-relationship”, and I see why.

Because most girls are not worthy of a relationship. You must learn how to screen a girl for a relationship and be ruthless about it.

The few that are worthy of it are often taken. Those girls who are not worthy of it need to be screened out and moved aside. Sure, keep them around as fuckbuddies or for casual dates.

But a relationship?

Something you invest your time, energy, money, and soul into? Only a very special girl is worthy of that.

Learning how to screen a girl properly, before you get sucked into an LTR with her, is one of the most important skills a man can have.

And often times, that quality girl makes you want to set the other ones aside. You know what I said to my Ukrainian girlfriend last week (you can read about our “courtship” here)?

“Don’t take this the wrong way. But YOU were NOT supposed to happen. I was not supposed to meet someone like you. I was supposed to go and be a total whore this year. But you changed my mind.”

She didn’t say much at the time, but the next day said to me, “I thought about what you said, and realized that is actually the most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to me.”

Now, you might call me cheesy, or pussy-whipped. But I’ve been around. I know how to find quality girls. I do not spill feelings to just anyone.

I screen girls ruthlessly for quality. If they don’t meet the criteria, they don’t get anything deeper than casual sex.

Here’s how you can do it, too.



how to screen a girl for a relationship1

This is a broad subject, so let’s start here. Generally speaking, the more feminine a girl, the higher quality she will be. You will get along better with her.

This assumes that you are a masculine man who has his shit together.

Does she rest her head on your shoulder and look up to you? Are you her pillar of strength? Feminine girls are by nature, more fragile. This does not mean high-maintenance.

A feminine girl derives her strength from your presence. Just being in your arms makes her feel safe and secure, no matter how rotten her day has been.

A girl who chooses to be in a sour mood over her bad day, and pushes it off on you, is not a feminine girl. A feminine girl looks merely for your presence for her comfort.



Does she cook?

Does she clean?

Those are signs of wanting to please you, as well as unselfishness–both of which are positive. However, not all girls have these skills–and that’s okay. Perhaps their moms were masculine ball-busters who failed to show them a feminine side.

However, if she knows that you appreciate those kind of domestic skills and then makes the effort to learn them, then you may have a keeper on your hand.

When it comes to how to screen a girl, her domestic skills often go hand-in-hand with how feminine she is (see #1).

Most men will be far happier in life building a business, making decisions, and dealing with the “manly stuff” of the house (changing oil, mowing lawns, etc.). Leave the kitchen and cleaning to the ladies.

If she’s happy with that arrangement, everybody wins.



Admittedly, this is more of an advanced topic that requires you to have a reasonable amount of past experiences with girls.

But think back to past relationships, or casual flings. There is often a feeling of just going through the motions–when those girls look at you, it’s just…normal.

A girl who is falling in love with you and is a high-quality girl simply has this look and glow in her eyes every time she sees you. It’s a mix of passion, respect, and more.

It should feel like a bit like there is just you two and no one else in the world.

It’s very difficult to explain (obviously), but when you see it, you’ll know.

But how is this a way to screen a girl?

It’s simple: many girls today, especially in the West, are simply unable to do this. The copious amount of dick they have taken in their life have rendered them unable to do this. Their narcissistic nature stops them from giving you those eyes.

They are simply not able to feel something so deep.

But when you see it, you’ll know you have a quality girl on your hands.


screen #4

I have a friend here in Odessa, Ukraine who I met randomly while out watching soccer. He’s Canadian, but speaks fluent Russian and has lived here for the better part of a year. He grew up with Ukrianian parents, and has the culture immersed in him.

When my girl came to town, I threw her to the wolves. We went out one night just for some drinks with this Canadian friend, and one other older American gentleman who was in town as well.

So we have me (the almost-25 year old guy), her (the 21 year old girl), my Canadian friend (who is 38), and the other American (who was 55).

Like I said, I threw her to the wolves. I wanted to see how she’d handle this situation.

My friend talked to her in Russian for nearly half an hour while I talked to the other American guy.

When I saw him a couple of days later, he simply said, “Your girl is fuckin’ Mary Poppins. What a wholesome and lovely girl. Great job man.”

Apparently the culture here tends to be very critical of other people. So he said things like, “So many of the girls here in Ukraine are whores, what do you think?”, in an attempt to bait her and get her to gossip and shit talk.

She didn’t rise to any of it, instead politely changing the subject or making a joke. He was very impressed.

When you are screening a girl, look at things like that. Does she gossip and shit-talk other people? Or does she prefer to live in her own world devoid of worrying about everyone else?

Can your girl handle a social situation like the one I described above with grace and class–or will she melt under the pressure, and clam up?

Or worse, resort to gossiping to fill the silence.

Screen her for wholesomeness and you will reap the rewards.



If other men are impressed with your girl from a personality standpoint, you are heading in the right direction.

Looks don’t matter.

In my case, I wouldn’t have cared if my friend told me she’s hot or not (though he did).

I know she’s hot.

I care what he thinks of her personality. As illustrated above, she passed with flying colors–confirming what I already knew.

When screening a girl, bring her around your friends.

How does she act? Are they impressed with her personality afterwards?


I’ll make this one real simple.

A girl who is passionate about having tequila shots done out of her belly button is probably not a high-quality girl you want to get in an LTR with.

A girl who is passionate about feminist rights and marches in protest with her tits hanging out is not a girl you want to get in an LTR with.

A girl who is passionate about twerking to rap and hip-hop music is probably not a girl you want to get in an LTR with.

So what hobbies are good?

It’s important not to throw a blanket statement on this one.

Generally speaking, hobbies that are superior alternatives to the ones above include: reading, artsy stuff (painting, poetry, writing, singing, knitting), cooking or baking, fitness activities, nature, animals (a genuine love for them, not PETA rights bullshit), or simply spending lots of time with her family.

As a side note, tread carefully with the girls who claim to have masculine hobbies like watching football. For whatever reason, there’s usually something a bit “off” with them. Still a better alternative to tequila belly shots.



This one is real easy.

What are her parents like–does her mom walk all over her dad?

Does she have a healthy respect for her father, or is she cock-full of daddy issues?

The funny thing is that this is probably the easiest way to screen a girl of them all. But so many men ignore the giant waving red flag.

If she shit-talks her dad, or worse–has no relationship at all with him–it’s almost always safe to assume that she’s going to have some issues, and probably isn’t a girl who is worthy of an LTR with you.



Remember what I wrote in the beginning of this article?

HUNCH: Most men do not start to learn Game so that they can bang hundreds of girls.

HUNCH: Most men start to learn Game because they want a girlfriend.

HUNCH: Sometimes, men get really good at Game and then end up banging lots of girls (that’s more or less my story, heh).

FINAL HUNCH: Often times, that desire for a girlfriend resurfaces, or just never went away.

Assuming you have gone on the “normal” path of Game and still want a girlfriend–simply ask yourself how she compares to the other girls?

Now, if your harem includes a stripper and a heroin addict, then that’s not a fair measuring stick. You can’t screen her based off of her being higher quality than them.

However, assuming you are dating a couple of normal girls, who is the cream of the crop? Does the one you’re screening go above and beyond what the rest of them do?

Does she meet the criteria laid out in this article?

Having multiple girls in your life allows you to have a clear head. Instead of your penis making the decisions, your real head is. This will allow you to truly screen a girl for quality and love.

And if you don’t take the time to do this properly, it often ends in a world of hurt. I’d know. I don’t want men to go through the pain I’ve gone. It’s why I do what I do.

If you want to truly take your abundance mindset with women to the next level, check this out.

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  • ten zły

    You are such a strange guy. In good way, but still… At one hand gamer, and at other romantic. This two seems mutually exclusive, but somehow you seem sane.

    As for the article, nothing ground breaking (I read many similar articles in past), but it is nicely summed up. I like the personal story behind some of point, it makes article more convincing.

    For me one of things that is missing is how to control yourself, when you find the girl you like a lot. When I don’t care it is easy to keep myself disciplined. It goes to shit when I start to care.

    • I don’t hate women at all, unlike a lot of guys who are good with women (that goes hand in hand).

      I love doing stuff with my girlfriend like zip lining (did that on my bday!), and taking trips. It’s fun for me.

      As for how to control yourself…maybe I’ll write a post about it. Good idea.

  • BK

    Outstanding article – concise and everyone of those points is absolutely needed. Keep up the great work!

  • Riley

    If I took any of my last 5 online dates here in LA and went down this check list, I wouldn’t be a happy man. Don’t think I’ve met a girl in the last year that’s had a feminine hobby (reading, knitting), actually enjoyed cooking, or had a strong fatherly figure, especially amongst my favorite demographic, the poverty latinas. You get some diamonds in the rough here and there but there’s almost always a catch. Gotta love that socal dating scene..

    • Ha…don’t even get me started on LA. Lived there for two years. Saw enough. Will never go back.

      If you want top shelf Latinas you can go to Colombia (but they’re kinda retarded). At least they cook and are sweet though.

  • These are some really effective ways of screening a girl for relationship and finding a Ukrainian girl can be really lucky because she is one of the most beautiful and suitable for marriage. But, nowadays a number of myths are circulating around for Ukrainian girls especially online. These myths need to be busted ASAP so that people can understand the true character of Ukrainian girls. The characteristics given here: explain the real nature of Ukrainian girls. So, people bust all your myths and identify the real Ukrainian girl.

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  • Matt

    Love articles like this Kyle. I’ve sensed more podcasts/videos lately and less great writing like this. I feel you are best served as a writer it is where you communicate best. Keep up the good work brother and keep living it up out there. – m

    • Hey Matt, thanks for commenting. Good to hear from you.

      I think as far as raw numbers go, I’m still writing far more than videos or podcasts…but yeah, the real high quality stuff like this sometimes doesn’t come out as often as i’d like. It’s tough to come up with this kinda stuff every day…

      The girl who inspired this article wrote her own post though, if you haven’t read it yet check it out:

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