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One Date or Two, What’s Best for You?

The tables below are an excerpt from The Harem Handbook, which you can get with my 4th of July special right now at a ridiculously low price.

There’s generally two schools of thought when it comes to how to structure dates with girls. You have those men who like to go for glory on the first night, and will stay out as late as possible to make it happen. Other men prefer a more methodical approach.

You can listen to some of my thoughts on the matter by clicking play.

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Go big or go home on the first date.

The 1 Date Model:

  • Drinks, not coffee or other activity.
  • Venue is critical, get a place on lock, because:
    • #1: It saves you money on drinks. At my favorite wine bar, it’s very common for me to order a bottle of wine ($20 during Happy Hour), and then my bartender friends will often comp three rounds of soju shots (six total) which would normally be three dollars apiece ($18). Instead, I tip them $10.
    • #2: Social proof. While the above bullet doesn’t seem like much difference money ($8), the biggest thing is when the bartender sees you and says, “Hey Kyle, what’s up man? Good to see you. Here, these are on the house,” as he brings over three shots – two for us, and one for him to take with us.

The date itself should flow as such:

  • Start with simple questions about each other, your days, etc. A little bit of chit-chat and comfort for the first fifteen minutes or so is good.
  • Escalate, both physically and verbally.
  • Seed something at your apartment/home, so she has an excuse to come back with you.


  • Bounce her, within an hour – either to a second venue closer to your pad, or to the pad itself.
  • Be a man, make the move – it will always be up to you.
  • You may deal with her feeling slutty, due to it being the first date – it’s up to you to make her feel good about it.


Less exciting, but more efficient and healthier to overall life.

The 2 Date Model:

  • The first date is an hour to an hour and a half maximum where you turn on the charm.
  • This first meet is usually just a casual coffee, maybe a happy hour drink; I recommend avoiding a late night first date.
  • You must cut this date off, one hour is ideal, an hour and a half is the absolute max.
  • If questioned about why, simply state that you have other plans or business to attend to – keep her guessing and curious.
  • As for the kiss, you can go for a quick one if it feels right, but don’t stress if it doesn’t.


  • For the second meeting, you invite her straight over to your pad.
  • It completely removes the OMG I slept with him on the first date, I am such a slut!” effect that goes through women’s heads.
  • Offer to cook dinner, avoiding a carb-heavy meal, then escalate as normal; if she likes you from the first date you’ve effectively removed all last minute resistance.
  • You can escalate either before or after dinner.
  • It’s funny how it works, I’ve slept with women after five hours on a first date, and they felt slutty because it was a first date.
  • But I’ve gone on a first date with women for exactly one hour, and then had them over for drinks or dinner on a second date and fucked them within the first hour; despite the fact that we’d only spent two total hours together.

Another huge pro of the 2 Date Model is that you’re drinking less and have less late nights overall.

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