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Choose Your Cum Buckets Wisely

A comment on The Ethical Player:

Glad to see you address this. You’re now into the area where a lot of PUAs totally fail at being men (in my opinion).

Whatever they claim, I fail to see the masculinity in taking a 19 year old gir’s virginity, whom you had no intention of actually pursuing a relationship with, just to satisfy a fleeting sexual urge. Masculinity isn’t about “muh fuck girls” – it’s about honour, virtue, and principles.

Shagging a slutty girl from the West who’s already had numerous one night stands? No problem, go for it.

But girls like this, I personally believe, if you have no genuine intention of actually pursuing something more lasting with them, then leave them alone. You can cause lasting emotional damage to them, and mess them up for any future men who were more serious about them.

Hey, maybe it doesn’t work out, but you’ll at least be able to look yourself in the eye.

My response:

Exactly, some Western whore who has played dozens, if not hundreds of men – I have NO issue whatosever with pumping and dumping her like the piece of used up garbage she is. I wouldn’t feel the slightest bit of remorse.

But here? Good lord, I definitely don’t think I would have actually fucked this girl if I didn’t actually feel SOMETHING for her.

At the same time, I realize my age and hers don’t exatly match – me 24, her 21. There is obviously low chance for REALLY long term because I want to capitalize on my own value. But at the same time, I want something with her in the immediate now. Hopefully she flies out to the next city.

In any case, I agree – if you’re a Western man, you have been truly screwed by society. Life has beaten and kicked you to the God damn curb. But if you want to take out your sexual urges…yeah, there’s better places than the 19 year old EE virginal girl. Such as Southeast Asia, Colombia, Poland….many places where you can have the masculine/feminine dynamic but with girls who have been around the block and not ruin a poor girl.


And actually, I want to add more to this, because it helps to really draw this line in the sand.

If you somehow charm or game a girl who is a “good girl” into fucking you on say, the first date, even if she’s a virgin or extremely low notch count…I think that’s fair game too. She should have the self respect, brain, and restraint to not fall for that.

However, the responsibility turns once you start going on many dates At that point, you’re sending signals that you’re considering something more with her than a pump and dump – so the responsibility falls back to the man. Like Simon said in his next response (below) – with power comes responsibility. Use ’em wisely.

Further more, that is a lot of time investment in a girl (like I did) for someone you just want to pump and dump. 18 hours for one orgasm?

That’s a horrible use of time.

Anyways, I’ll let Simon take it home with his final comment (response to mine above).

Totally agree.

I mean, you don’t need to start considering whether you want some girl to be your future wife and mother of your children every time you go out on a date, but I’m sure you’ll agree – you generally know within a few hours of meeting a girl whether you actually like her more than in just a purely “need to satisfy a sexual urge” sense, and then you need to consider your own actions.

Understanding female psychology, knowing game – these things give us power over women. And at the risk of sounding cheesy – with power comes responsibility.

The responsibility in this case is to do the right thing, not abuse your power, and not selfishly screw up some innocent girl if you know full well you don’t really fancy her for more than just a quickie, or just to give your ego a quick boost. There’s nothing honourable in that.

As you say, there are plenty of girls who have been around the block in the world to play around with. As far as I’m concerned, the second a girl has had a single one night stand she’s fair game for this. A decent, self-respecting girl will never have a ONS. They understand the value of their sexuality, and for girls like this to sleep with someone requires a deeper emotional connection.

Granted, girls like this are like unicorns in the West, but as I know you are finding now, there are a lot of them in other places.

What are your thoughts on this?

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  • ten zły

    Well, it seems like you are thinking a lot about it lately. Dont late it consume you. Beside ukraine has highest hiv infection rate in whole Europe, not every girl there is saint.

    • It’s been on my mind – helped by some of the great comments like yours. I want to showcase them!

    • horace template

      Yes, the thinking should be on STD risks… less so on ethics!

      • I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not. Maybe I’m the crazy one but I just don’t fear them. Maybe I came to terms with it a while ago.

      • ten zły

        Well, this my remark about HIV was not about STD. Just you can’t have highest HIV infection rate (according to wikipedia) and saint girls at the same time. It is sign that girls from Ukraine are more slutty that it may seem.

        Just like low birth rate is sign that there is something wrong with sexual dynamic and culture in given country. Numbers don’t lie.

      • What does Wikipedia say about WHERE the HIV infected are coming from? Ukraine is a poor place with plenty of people that are probably swapping drug needles.

        Personally, I think the common and minor STDs are a far better indicator of sluttiness than HIV.

        Also, this is worth a read:

      • ten zły

        Well, to be honest, I am too lazy to check. Maybe you are right. Most HIV infections are from drugs and homosexuals anyway.

        As for risk of HIV infection during normal unprotected sex, I am well aware that risk is extremely low. Not to mention using basic protection.

      • Exactly. Way too low of a risk to spend all the time and energy worrying about it.

      • bucky

        i wouldn’t worry about HIV, i’d more worry about something like genital warts. seriously, look that up on wikipedia and look at the pictures. it will make you think twice.

      • It’s common with the lifestyle…if you worry about it too much you might as well just give up.

  • Hoyos

    I’m kind of bastardizing Hemingway at this point, not that he was a paragon, but a real vice is anything that you feel bad about afterwards. On a heart level, you know if you pushed a bridge too far on your own conscience or not, regardless of whether it seems “reasonable” (frequently more like rationalizing) or not.

    While I am a Christian, I don’t expect non Christians to love up to Christian standards. I think it’s more than fair though to expect someone to count the whole cost of their actions, to themselves or other people. And you have to do your thinking beforehand, the heat of the moment is a terrible time for cool judgement.

    Some girl may be immature but if you honestly know she’s expecting a relationship with you and you have no intention of that, you’re committing a kind of moral fraud unless you make it abundantly clear what you’re about. Women are the weaker vessel as well, so even if you make your case and she still believes a relationship is in the offing, you still need to bail. I’ve heard guys say “If it’s going to happen anyway, may as well be me”. In that case let some other guy put miles on his conscience. Unless you’re a sociopath you know when you’re hurting someone, and you know how that cuts chunks off your own soul.

    TLDR Version: You know in your heart of hearts if you’re about to hurt someone, so be a man and don’t do it.

    • Great comment.

      For a long time, I definitely subscribed to that mindset: “Well, if some guy is gonna be a dick to her, I’m gonna be that dick and get MY dick wet.”

      These days? I’d probably think harder about it. I might still do it, depending on the situation. I get what you’re saying about miles on the conscience, though…really good point.

      Thanks for responding! Featured this one.

  • Joshua

    I’m smelling some classic personalization here.
    Even if you’re her first, if she’s giving it up easy she’s not that pure, and she was never gonna be the perfect sweetheart young wife to a deserving young fella.
    I insist on female agency. It’s up to her to say no or to walk away, and God knows I’ve watched enough girls say no and walk away.
    If she bangs, she bangs.

    • Are you saying that if you were to settle down, you wouldn’t want to test drive the car before driving?

      • ten zły

        That is a good point, but if you fucked her on first date, shit isn’t wife material no matter how sweat she may seem. If you were able to do it, what guarantee do you have that some other guy will not fuck her easily after she becomes your wife?

        My point it is, it is fine to have sex with girl that you want to marry before, but if she is easy then she is easy for all, not just you.

      • Oh 100%. I’d never wife up a girl who slept with me before 3 dates.

      • Maybe more…

      • ten zły

        So to answer youe moral dilemma, you can’t break a broken glass. If girl was easy for you then she is already broken, so there is no point in trying to blame yourself for this.

      • That’s not what this is about though. In this case the girl wasn’t easy. The question is if it’s morally ethical to still bang her if you have no intention of staying around. I’m going to come back and see this girl, so it doesn’t really apply. The comments in the post were more of a generalization i believe. Perhaps Simon will correct me if I’m wrong.

      • ten zły

        Well, there is therm “alpha widow”. As far as I understand it, comes down to this. You fucked her really good and hard, you were her best and there you ended it. There, she is broken, she can’t bond to any “normal” guy, cos she will always compare him to you. And I suppose it does not really matter if you come back or not.

        Assuming that she you will fucked her really good and whole “alpha widow” thing is true.

        Not that I want to be preachy, just used logic to thing about consequences for her.

      • Yes, that makes sense but doesn’t correlate to the broken glass theory.

        Can’t break broken glass = a girl who was a slut anyway
        Alpha widow = left behind by a man who she was charmed by (not a direct relation to above).

        So what I’m saying is: is it wrong to pursue a girl you actually like if you don’t think you’re going to pursue something longer-term with her, especially one who is a nice girl and not broken glass?

        Secondly, is it wrong to pursue her if you know you’re going to “alpha widow” her? (but for me to say I assume I would do that would just be narcissistic ;))

      • ten zły

        Well, for me it correlates perfectly. When you fuck broken glass, you don’t need to care about making her Alpha widow, she probably already is one. Not that it does matter anyway, broken is broken, does not matter how you broke the glass. Throwing glass at wall or smashing it with hammer, will have same result, although completely different methods were used.

        As for sweet and nice girl, you gotta be careful, cos you might just brake her.

        So to answer your questions, yes I think it is wrong, but under the assumption that you will make her alpha widow, which is probable, as you fucked more girls, you get more skilled at sex and game, so you are more charming, so it is easier for you to make her alpha widow, even if you don’t intend to do so.

        Well there are a lot of assumptions here, hard to tell how real life will turnout. Game theory is one thing and life can be other.

      • Understood. Yes, your second comment about the good girl is the predicament I’ve found myself in in Ukraine.

      • CoffeeCrazed

        I don’t know if I can expand the “Test drive” analogy adequately, but it doesn’t work, IMO.

        You go to the dealership and they’ve got the model with all the bells and whistles, maybe a little more power under the hood. But you buy down and your purchase experience isn’t the same as the test drive. Maintenance is expensive, cupholder placement sucks, maybe you got a lemon. When it’s good, its great; when it’s bad, makes you want to sell it.

        I’ve heard it said in the manosphere that your first sex with a woman is as good as it gets. IME, it’s true.

        I haven’t encountered a good indicator of long term sexual compatibility.

      • The first sex you have with a woman is the best? No way. It gets better over time, provided you’re with a quality girl who is enthusiastic about the process and who you’re compatible with. ALWAYS gets better as you learn the ins and outs of each other, etc.

        NOW, there is a shelf life on that. Maybe it’s a year. Maybe it’s five years. I’m really not sure.

        But first time sex is usually nowhere near as good as it gets in my past experiences.

      • CoffeeCrazed

        I hyperbolized. Even still, you recognize the shelf life.

        More to my point is that there is very little quality of indication of long term compatibility.

        Does the virgin go frigid or horny? Does the Slut show her true colours once she locks a man down?

        Roll of dice.

      • Yes, it’s not going to get any better after the honeymoon phase. Maybe one year max.

        There’s a reason swingers clubs and polyamorous is rising (or just becoming more socially acceptable).

  • horace template

    I’m sure girls don’t give a flying f–k about ethics in sleeping with a guy, screwing him over, etc etc etc – the hamster wheel brain after all, as you’ve already discussed.

    Maybe the line in the sand is banging a woman who was on the cusp of joining the covenant (or is it while in the covenant)? But banging some regular chick? Whatever, do it, don’t, whatever!!! (But do tell if you do!)

    • Girls are nearly incapable of feeling bad about something like that because they always find a way to rationalize it. When is the last time you heard a woman take blame and responsibility for divorce?

      No sense in being biter about it but men need to know the facts and truth.

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