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Smashing Hearts and Player Ethics


Grappling with morality and whatnot…

Comment that spawned this video.

The Ethical Player, read it.

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  • Simon

    Glad to see you address this. You’re now into the area where a lot of PUAs totally fail at being men (in my opinion).

    Whatever they claim, I fail to see the masculinity in taking a 19 year old gir’s virginity, whom you had no intention of actually pursuing a relationship with, just to satisfy a fleeting sexual urge. Masculinity isn’t about “muh fuck girls” – it’s about honour, virtue, and principles.

    Shagging a slutty girl from the West who’s already had numerous one night stands? No problem, go for it.

    But girls like this, I personally believe, if you have no genuine intention of actually pursuing something more lasting with them, then leave them alone. You can cause lasting emotional damage to them, and mess them up for any future men who were more serious about them.

    Hey, maybe it doesn’t work out, but you’ll at least be able to look yourself in the eye.

    • Simon, thanks buddy. It means a lot.

      Exactly, some Western whore who has played dozens, if not hundreds of men – I have NO issue whatosever with pumping and dumping her like the piece of used up garbage she is. I wouldn’t feel the slightest bit of remorse.

      But here? Good lord, I definitely don’t think I would have actually fucked this girl if I didn’t actually feel SOMETHING for her.

      At the same time, I realize my age and hers don’t exatly match – me 24, her 21. There is obviously low chance for REALLY long term because I want to capitalize on my own value. But at the same time, I want something with her in the immediate now. Hopefully she flies out to the next city.

      In any case, I agree – if you’re a Western man, you have been truly screwed by society. Life has beaten and kicked you to the God damn curb. But if you want to take out your sexual urges…yeah, there’s better places than the 19 year old EE virginal girl. Such as Southeast Asia, Colombia, Poland….many places where you can have the masculine/feminine dynamic but with girls who have been around the block and not ruin a poor girl.


      • Simon

        Totally agree.

        I mean, you don’t need to start considering whether you want some girl to be your future wife and mother of your children every time you go out on a date, but I’m sure you’ll agree – you generally know within a few hours of meeting a girl whether you actually like her more than in just a purely “need to satisfy a sexual urge” sense, and then you need to consider your own actions.

        Understanding female psychology, knowing game – these things give us power over women. And at the risk of sounding cheesy – with power comes responsibility.

        The responsibility in this case is to do the right thing, not abuse your power, and not selfishly screw up some innocent girl if you know full well you don’t really fancy her for more than just a quickie, or just to give your ego a quick boost. There’s nothing honourable in that.

        As you say, there are plenty of girls who have been around the block in the world to play around with. As far as I’m concerned, the second a girl has had a single one night stand she’s fair game for this. A decent, self-respecting girl will never have a ONS. They understand the value of their sexuality, and for girls like this to sleep with someone requires a deeper emotional connection.

        Granted, girls like this are like unicorns in the West, but as I know you are finding now, there are a lot of them in other places.

      • Kyle Trouble

        So basically…most men can’t handle the power. Or at least can’t handle it in an ethical way.

  • ten zły

    You are good human being. And that is disadvantage in not so good world.
    There is simple observation that I made long time ago. Bad people have it easier in life.
    That might seem strange at first, especially with all that karma bullshit that is popular with common folk. But If someone does not have such strong moral code they have less limitations on their actions.
    Being good and playing by the rules does not pay well.

    • But, you don’t have to be BAD.

      It’s honestly just more down to being selfish, but that doesn’t mean you don’t care about other people.

      • ten zły

        Well, I disagree, if you care about others you have that limitation that bad people don’t have.
        I’m not taking about just being selfish, because at the end of day most of us are selfish. I’m talking about for example in your moral problem a player that just does not care about those girls or even takes sick pleasure in breaking them. And there are some people like that.
        And they have advantage in field.

      • Advantage? Depends how you look at it.

        Can someone like that truly bond with someone, and enjoy them – or hell, even love? Or are they so broken inside they can’t feel anything, and so the only way they get the dopamine hit is to “break them” as you say.

        So then you have to really ask who has the advantage, in that case.

      • ten zły

        That depends, in long run in moral world you would be right.
        But honestly I think that world is going to shit, I am expecting war in Europe in my lifetime.
        There is so much shit going on, ever growing debt, sick leftists people in power, divorce epidemic, demographic downfall, Muslim invasion and probably few others. That does not sound like safe future to start a family and have healthy relations.

      • Wouldn’t shock me at all. At least in Western Europe. Unfortunately EE will probably get caught in it, too.

      • ten zły

        Yea, but that is a good think actually. Europe will be reborn from fire. At least I hope so. Wars although bad, sometimes have good side effects to them. They destroy weak and sick countries, so that something new can be build.

      • But I just got here! Ah!

      • ten zły

        Dont worry, USA is going down too. Still number 1 but only because there is no number 2 since fall of USSR

      • I’d definitely never say that the US is the best country in the world.

      • ten zły

        By #1 I mean most powerful, not best. There is big difference. And where there is competitor #2, sometimes both countries start a war. So US is lucky that although weak with women, gays, transsexual in military and stupid politicians like Obama it is still most powerful country by far. It is just that other countries are much weaker. China might stand a chance in few decades, but other than that there is no candidate for #2.

      • Simon

        Truth. A player who emotionally destroys innocent girls has no “advantage” whatsoever, except in his own mind, and in the minds of easily impressed weak men who idolise him.

        It’s not about advantage or disadvantage, it’s simply about knowing that some courses of action are inherently wrong, selfish and immoral, and having the strength of character to choose not to do them.

      • But that’s just it: most don’t have mental strength. Most people in general don’t.

        Think about it.

        Everyone knows they shouldn’t be fat. Doesn’t stop them from chowing down on Oreos, even though they *know* it’s wrong.

        Different topics, same mindset applies.

      • Simon

        Agreed. But then we shouldn’t judge behaviour by the lowest common denominator.

        We should hold ourselves, and by extension others, up to the highest standards, and set examples for them to follow.

  • No mention of actually being in a LTR or several LTRs with women over the next few years? You mention kids at 35, which is a decade away, and presumably that involves a wife so you can have a solid nuclear family. And then you basically said your options in the meantime were tear through pussy or be celibate (paraphrasing here).

    So the question is, are you opposed to potentially being in a relationship for 1-3 years with a woman? Obviously your visa issue is a problem, but putting that on the table upfront should help clarify your situation with the women you meet.

    I think morality and ethics come into it based on your intent and handling of the situation. I mean, telling a girl you are getting on a plane and not coming back in a month vs leading her to believe this could be something special while withholding that information are 2 very different scenarios.

    idk man, just thought I’d throw some quick thoughts out there real quick.

    • I’ve definitely thought about it a lot, and still feel it’s almost unethical. Maybe my thinking is skewed.

      But I’m not kidding when I say these girls are considered failures if they’re not married by 25. It doesn’t seem right to get into LTRs and have these girls spend their time with me, and then when it’s over their already limited options are even more limited.

      The visa issue is hopefully going to be solved. Don’t know if you saw on Twitter yesterday, but it seems I’m eligible for Italian citizenship so fingers crossed!

      • Brianmark

        There is a very high divorcee rate in Ukraine. Even higher than the USA. Those girls getting married very young, some pregnant, and they divorced young too.

      • Need some statistics on that. Are they divorcing Ukrainian men, foreign husbands, etc.?

        Huge difference.

      • Brianmark

        Both, i’ll have to find the old data. I used to follow the Ukraine closely around the time I lived over there.

        Ukraine divorce rate in 2010 is 42%. I guess it is not so bad since the USA has 53% divorcee rate..

      • Thanks! Good info.

  • Brianmark

    Kyle Trouble, where are there more tourist and expats, Ukraine or Poland? Do you see many foreigners there? Where did you meet your girlfriend? Why the hurry to leave?

    • Poland has more international flavor.

      The next city was booked back in January.

      • Brianmark

        So you planned your countries and cities way before you left the USA? So how long you plan on staying in Europe?
        What age group are most of the foreigners? Where did you meet your girlfriend, online?

      • Just the first 3 places were booked ahead of time. Seeing family in end of July and August and no idea where I will go after. Though I plan to stay in Europe until November or December.

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