This Is Trouble
Share This!

Field Report: My Colombian Girlfriend (Part 1/2)

It was my first night in Colombia, and admittedly – I was slightly cultured shocked. Between the trip between the airport and my apartment through “The Ocho” district, and the lack of any English speakers – I wasn’t sure what I’d signed up for.

I was a bit concerned.

My concerns were quickly alleviated when I met Marianna.

Huge props to Masculine Profiles and El Conquistador for helping me with enough Spanish to give her just-good-enough instructions on how to get to the apartment. Unfortunately, they weren’t around when I discussed the time of the date with Marianna…

What was supposed to be a 9pm date somehow became turned into her, at 7:50pm, texting me:


My Colombian girlfriend actually looks very similar to this.

“Estoy en camino”

Which translates to…”I’m on my way”.


Unshowered, barely dressed, and still eating dinner – and I have my first Colombian date (who nonetheless speaks zero English) arriving on my door in roughly fifteen minutes. And unlike every other Colombian girl I met during the week, she was actually on time.

So I hurriedly dressed, threw on a t-shirt and basketball shots (real classy, I know), and ran downstairs to meet Marianna. Gave her money for her taxi, and she was kind enough to take help me wipe some of the sweat off my face. I had bypassed the slow elevator for the stairs, and that, plus a shot of booze and the scorching humidity had made me hot.

This was my first moment of realizing how drastically different the Latin culture is – she didn’t hesitate to touch me multiple times in the elevator. Granted, I found out later that she was really into me from the very beginning, but no girl in America would do that. I took it as a green light to use my lack of English to escalate very quickly.

Once inside, Marianna needed a little bit of prodding to come straight into my room, where I’d strategically placed my translator and wine – see this post for more info about my strategies involving that. Huge hat tip to El Conquistador for being a hell of a wingman and telling her in Spanish, “follow him”.

Once inside, I ran my usual date routine – simply with much faster physical escalation and a translator. This bang actually happened before the cheating whore notch, but it really was very similar if you read that post.

In a nutshell, I used technology to

  • Talk and chit chat about general stuff.
  • Show her pictures of where I’ve traveled – use Google Maps to help illustrate this point.
  • Zoom in on my home in Los Angeles and show her how close I am to the beach.
  • Show her pictures of my home in Los Angeles.
  • Play the questions game – get sexual.

I kissed Marianna within fifteen minutes of meeting her. It felt very natural. I pulled back first and continued the above points until I started escalating harder after the first glass of wine.

I could tell she really wanted it, but then the wretched time of the month issue reared its red head.

Frankly, experience tells me that when it comes to this, logic (like the cheating whore bang!) is the best way to go. Just explain that you don’t care – you’re a mature man who isn’t phased out by a little bit of blood. I told her that I wanted to make love to her and that it was ultimately her decision, but I wanted her.

Of course, this must come from a non-needy place. In a place like Colombia, where I am extremely high-value, this is easier to do.

She went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when she came out she just nodded her head in excitement. I proceeded to strip her naked, put on a condom, stick my dick in her, and destroy a perfectly good white towel in the process of it.

I’ll never forget my first nut with this girl.

She was really tiny (just my type), and very tight. Right away, I could tell I wasn’t going to last long. I kept swapping positions until I hit the just-respectable-enough eight minutes or so mark. I then had her in doggy style and was going at an easy pace to hold off a bit longer. I briefly stopped to control myself, but then she started rubbing her clit herself. I felt her tighten up and realized I was going to blow my load from it. So I slammed her as hard as possible for all of three pumps and finished inside of her.

She stayed the night and left in the morning.

Total time and money spent on the bang:

  • A couple weeks of texting on Whatsapp
  • $6 for her taxis, round trip
  • $5 bottle of wine
  • One white towel

Marianna became my Colombian girlfriend for the week, and I really enjoyed my time with her.

Check back Monday for a post about what the Colombian girlfriend experience was like.

Are you a man trying to improve your life? Dates any day you wish, sex on demand, and the affection of multiple pretty girls sound to you?

If so, check out my book: Cracking OkCupid.

Most online dating books took an approach towards “cheating” your way into dates in the form of macros, cheesy messages, and more. In the book, I show all the secrets towards creating an online dating system that works for you based around who you are, rather than trying to “trick” women into going on dates with you. I also explain my strategies towards skipping dates altogether and moving straight to sex.

It’s been called a comprehensive guide for anyone with beginner to advanced level skills in online dating. Click here to check it out.

Tired of living a life where the girls get away from you because of technology? Join Tinder & Texting University and learn how to utilize technology to improve YOUR dating life.

For a limited time, you can join and the first month is FREE. Click here to enroll.

Tweet about this on TwitterShare on FacebookShare on Google+Digg thisShare on StumbleUponShare on Reddit

Copyright © 2013-2016 This Is Trouble - Published by [DBA] Troublesome Media - All Rights Reserved.

Connect With Me: