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How Dare You

How Dare You

Look, I get it. I’ve got an auto-swiper app that likes every girl within a thirty mile radius of me. Every girl is a yes girl in my book, but I just unmatch the hags. But to think you deserve me? You message me with your simple, “Hey”, and expect me to bow down to your whaleish figure?


Stupid 250 pound ogres.

How dare you try to start a conversation with me.

You are an overweight, cocky girl with short hair. To top it all off your profile literally says, “I don’t need a man, I’m a strong independent woman.”

How dare you message me.

I don’t even know what to say to some of you.

I’m in good shape, well-traveled, successful in my career.  You live at home and barely resemble a woman. A woman’s looks are everything and you have nothing. You are basically a worthless genetic dead end. Sure, some moron will stick his dick in you – but you’re worthless.

You think you have a chance with me?

Fuck you.

How dare you.

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  • Do them one better. Just go Butters and explain that they are too heavy for you and then unmatch

    • But then they won’t get that message if I unmatch.

      Will they??

      • Ya gotta wait till they send something about small dicks THEN unmatch. I know it’s time consuming, but nobody ever said saving the world would be easy.

      • Ha!

        Thing is, I’d rather not save them or even give them a hint. “You’re fat and unattractive” might actually make them change if enough people say it.

        I’d rather they just die surrounded by cats someday.

      • Well lets get serious now if you don’t mind…


      • I don’t have an actual wish for them to do so, per se – but it would get absolutely exhausting trying to “save” every woman I ran across. It might be partial bitterness too; I don’t feel any pity for them. You dug your grave, lay in it.

        I would much rather focus my energy on helping men out.

  • Oliver Maerk

    An attitude
    some women are not familiar with. But who’s problem is that?

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