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The Player’s Guide To Pittsburgh (Haaaaaa…)

I was recently in Pittsburgh for work for nine days. In between working, on average, 12 hour days without a day off, I actually did manage to go out and meet some girls. Granted I was dead exhausted and am now continuing to pay the price for my lack of sleep while in the much better city of Montreal (stories coming!), but I figured I’d share these thoughts for any aspiring playboy living or visiting Pittsburgh.

Thought #1 – DON’T GO.

The end!

Alright, obviously not helpful. I’ll do what I can. Consider this a bit of a mini datasheet on how to attack the city of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. It looks like I’ll be making a few more work trips there in the relatively near future, so this will hopefully be expanded on in the coming months.

Pittsburgh, PA Data Sheet

Getting To & Around Pittsburgh

The Pittsburgh airport is really out in the middle of buttfuck nowhere. There’s no metro in the downtown areas, and therefore no easy bus to metro airport connection you can make. An Uber will cost you about $35-40 and will take about 40 minutes to get you to downtown. I have no idea what a taxi will cost you, but I’d imagine it will be well over $50 (for comparison, a ride to the Los Angeles airport costs me $20 with Uber and cost me $39 in a taxi just the other night).

Once you’re in the actual city itself, buses aren’t bad. They come very often considering Pittsburgh has a huge college population, none of which have cars. The only problem is the actual city design itself, which appears to have been designed by a guy who was high beyond belief when implementing the city roads. At many points, a one way street will suddenly turn into a “one way except for one bus lane” street, and cars are forced to merge mid-intersection to avoid a head on collision with a bus.

With that being said, it’s nice to have a car but the city is overall quite small. I was staying in the Oakland neighborhood, which contains both the University of Pittsburgh and Carnegie Mellon campuses.

Pittsburgh, PA

Pittsburgh, PA

The Girls Of Pittsburgh

Not going to lie, some of them are hideous and have spent way too many winters cuddling under blankets kicking back shitty Keystone light. But you cannot forget that there are close to 100,000 college students in barely a five square mile radius, so there will be cute girls. You may just have to find them.

The few nights I went out I found the girls to be very pleasant and open to my approaches. Far, far nicer than the girls of Los Angeles who are notorious for giving you a bitch face and sauntering off, despite the fact that she’s barely a 7 (not an excuse not to stay positive). I even had one girl say, “We don’t need any more drinks but thank you very much for coming and saying hi.” I asked her if that was her way of rejecting me and she stammered and said yes. I gave her a hug and told her it was the nicest rejection I’ve ever gotten.

Pittsburgh Neighborhoods

I really didn’t have time to explore much but here’s what I’d go with based off of my limited time.

DOWNTOWN – Was absolutely dead on a Wednesday night. So much so that I swore I wouldn’t bother going back. This wasn’t 1:00am on a Wednesday. This was at 8:30pm. I got dropped off by the hotel shuttle at the main “Market Square” and there were maybe two bars open and a dozen people out and about. I did end up having a great date in a cool whiskey bar, but that was about the extent of my adventures.

SHADYSIDE – I’m a bit biased because I managed to pull a cute Belgian girl home to receive dick-rubbed-raw handjob. But overall the vibe of this neighborhood is a relaxed college atmosphere but not as fratboy over run as other parts. It’s worth noting that this is also more towards Carnegie Melon, which is composed more of engineers and music geeks than football players and whatnot.

SOUTHSIDE – Only made it out on a Monday night but from what I saw it was pretty fratboy overridden. I went with two girls to their apartment. After being their an hour, making out with one, and drinking a glass of wine, they kicked me out because their “male roommate with an AK-47 wouldn’t wake up and they were afraid I might kill them”. Of course they missed the fact that he had gone to the bathroom and was simply ignoring their banging on the door.

OAKLAND – Lots of cheap bars and good eats. I didn’t go out here much because I wanted to get away from work and where I was staying. This is the place I’d go to daygame since it’s flooded with University of Pittsburgh students.

Pittsburgh Prices & More

It’s a cheap city.

My hotel was on the two campuses and was $120 a night. A one bedroom apartment will cost you $800-$1000. A vodka tonic at most of the college bars was $3. The most I ever spent was $70 at a martini bar, which included four spectacular cocktails and four shots of tequila.

Pittsburgh Verdict

Honestly, the city had some charm to it and I enjoyed that. The people were very friendly, I made friends with nearly every bartender that served me. I wish I’d had time to test out some day game on the college students but the nighttime receptivity showed me the potential is definitely there. The city definitely has absolutely no sex appeal in the rest of America or overseas, so if you come from a “cool” place like LA or NYC it may increase your value slightly. However, it’s important to note that I definitely didn’t score any notches for being from Los Angeles. While a girl from Europe might sleep with an American for the novelty factor, in Pittsburgh you’re still an American. However, if you were a European or Aussie coming to Pittsburgh I imagine it would be a different story; contrasted from a big city like LA/NYC where you wouldn’t be as novel.

In conclusion: if you must go for business or family it’s not the end of the world.

Should you plan a trip there? A resounding no.

Read More: Why You Should Leave California

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